Night of The Living Dead

part 33

  (Trigger Warning! There is self harm in this chapter, if that's something you are triggered by you should stop reading, or move onto the next chapter!)

  As I cried in the bathroom the others talked. I don't know what they were talking about, because I wasn't listening. I was too busy trying to convince myself that Glen won't kill me. Eventually the talking stopped. At this point I was fully convinced that I'm a murder. As I calmed down a bit I felt some pain in my right hand. I looked at my hand and realized I'm still holding the pocket knife.

  As I looked at the knife my mind got the better of me. 'Who actually cares about me? I'm just a burden to Savannah. Asher didn't want to help me. I killed Alexander in cold blood. Joseph and Amy hate me! Candy doesn't like me at all.' my mind kept repeating to me.

  'Glen was right. You are a murderer, faggot, and tranny. Maybe Savannah should forget about me. It will be better that way.' my mind told me as I rolled up my left sleeve.

  I pressed the blade against my skin and dragged it along my arm. I winced in pain as I did this. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from screaming. I look at the cut going along my arm as it bled. Strangely enough inflicting pain on myself calmed my nerves, so I continued and didn't stop. I had seven new cuts on my arm when I heard a knock on the door. I jumped at the sound as I dropped my pocket knife. I quickly rolled down my sleeve and pick up the pocket knife.

  I stood up and put the pocket knife in my pocket. I reached for the door handle as I look at my hands. Before opening the door I stared at the still wet blood on my hand. I couldn't tell if it was my own blood, or Alexander's. I pushed that thought aside and opened the door. On the other side of the door was Savannah holding a bottle of water. She looked worried. 'She doesn't actually care about me.' my mind told me as I looked at her.

  "How are you doing?" Savannah asked.

  "I-I'm fine." I answered, my voice cracked and sounded hollow.

  "Don't lie to me." Savannah pointed out that.

  "I'm not!" I got defensive about it.

  "You've been in here for almost an hour doing God knows what. You can't tell me you're fine after what happened." Savannah was stern, but she sounded worried.

  "I've been in here that long!" I was amazed that is was in here that long. I held my hands behind my back so Savannah couldn't see them.

  "Is Joseph ok?" I asked.

  "We don't know if he's going to tern yet. If he doesn't turn let's hope he doesn't die from blood loss." Savannah answered.

  "Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Savannah asked.

  I thought for a minute. I didn't know how to answer her questions. I don't even want to tell her what's wrong because I feel like she won't care. Maybe I should just tell her how I feel twords her.

  "I-I'm sorry if I'm a burden to you..." I quietly said.

  The shocked, and angry look I got from her tells me she wasn't expecting me to say what I said. I think she was expecting me to lie then tell her the truth. After a second her facial expression change to disappointment.

  "What makes you think that?" Savannah asked as she sat the bottle of water on the sink.

  "I'm cousin unnecessary worrying, and stress for you. It's mostly my fault this stuff has happened to me anyway." I quietly answered.

  "Don't tell me you actually believe what Glen says!" Savannah sounded upset as she held my hands.

  "But he's right. You all would be better off not having me around." I told her.

  Savannah suddenly pulled me into a hug. I tensed up for a minute before I started to relax. She held my hand close to her chest as she stroked my hair. I didn't hug her back. I didn't know what to say, so I stood there not saying a word. She eventually let go and she put both of her hand on my shoulders.

  "If I get told that you are even think like that again I will beat the lies out of you." Savannah jokingly said.

  "Is that a threat or something to make me feel better?" I asked.

  "Both." Savannah answered.

  "Now go wash the blood off your hand, and you should also try and go back to bed. You've had a long night." She told me

  "Alright. Have a good night." I smiled at her.

  "You to, and try and get some sleep." Savannah told me before leaving.

  I walked over to the sink. I rolled up my sleeves to review my bloody right arm. I grabbed the water bottle and twisted off the lid. I put my right arm over the sink and poured a bit of water on it. It stung when the water ran into the cuts on my arm. I tried to wash the blood off as fast as possible. When I was done my hands and arm looked mostly cleaned. I rolled my sleeves back down and walked out of the room. I made my way to my room. As I walked in I could see Candy sitting on my bed.

  "Hi." Candy waved at me.

  "Hay." I said back.

  "What happened out there?" They asked.

  "A-Alexander is dead." I nervously told them. I didn't want to share the whole story.

  "Poor him. Is that all?" They asked.

  "Ya." I answered as I sat down on my bed.

  "We should probably go back to bed." Candy told me.

  They seem like they know more then what there telling me, but I won't question them about it.

  "We should. It's been a long night." I agreed as I lied down.

  Candy lied down right beside me, and nuzzled agents me. I wrapped both my arms around them as they fell asleep. Time when by so slow because I couldn't fall asleep. I couldn't stop thinking about what I done. When the sun came up is when I passed out.