Jex |Complete|

[27] Sides

Jex's POV:

Last night was stupid. I shouldn't have taken my self-doubt out on Bella, but she did look amazing in that dress and the thought of her being with another guy, well it was almost enough to rip my heart out.

Not being able to be with her in public is something I've thought a lot about, and whilst I know we don't have a choice in the matter, it still sucks. I'd give anything to be able to take her out on date, to introduce her to the boys or to hang out in group situations. Heck, even a part of me even wants to meet her family and friends, even though they are Cobras. Bella's a Cobra and she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Bearing that in mind, maybe the rest are okay when you get to know them.

However, one good thing that did come from our fight was the sex. Damn she's rough when she's mad.

"Stop looking at me like that," she mumbles, her eyes still closed as we lay in bed.

"Like what?"

"With that stupid grin on your face. I can see it with my eyes closed."

"I was just thinking about how hot you are when you're angry and take control in the bedroom."

"Yeah well you sure know how to make me angry," she opens her eyes.

"You're still mad? But I thought we moved passed that when we had sex last night."

"I'll move past it when you talk to me about it."

"Talk about what? My feelings?" I cringe.

"Yes Jex, talk about your feelings."

"Mmm," I hum softly. "No thanks," I grin and lay back down on my back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Well if you don't want to talk about it there's no real point in me sticking around," she sits up and swings her legs over the edge of the bed, her back facing me.

"Fine," I groan. "Lay back down and we'll talk about it."

Giving me an 'I win' grin, she swings herself back into the bed and lays on her side looking up at me. "Did you really think I'd cheat on you?"

"No I didn't. But at the same time I wouldn't blame you if you did," I sigh, as I tuck her blonde hair behind her left ear. "You deserve so much more then I can give you."

"So you doubt that I love you?" She asks, looking hurt once more.

"No I don't. I know that you love me, you wouldn't be here if you didn't. It's just my own self-doubt. But I shouldn't have taken that out on you, it's not your fault I'm insecure."

"I know you can't help how you feel, and you can't help your insecurities. But I wish you didn't feel them. I love you Jex and I'm not going anywhere," she smiles up at me.

"I love you too, you know this. But Bella I think we really do need to consider some things. We've been together for a few months now and I don't see us breaking up. However, I also can't see our future."

"You can't?" Her brows knit together and I see the tears forming in her eyes.

"Not because I don't love you, but because I just can't see how we get around this. How do you ever move in with me? How do I ever ask you to marry me and start a family? All of the things that I've always wanted, that I'm sure you want as well. I just, I don't know what we're actually doing. I know I love you, but are we just prolonging our heartbreak?"

"You're right," she says sadly, a tear sliding down her cheek. "Unless we come clean; I tell my family and you tell yours, I don't see how we can move to the next step of our relationship."

"And would you be willing to do that? Tell you family about us?"

"If it means being with you, then yes. But I don't think they'll be happy about it or accept you with open arms. But you? Would you tell the Vipers?"

"I would tell them yes. I know they wouldn't be happy about me being with a Cobra and it'll probably result in a fight for my leadership."

"So there's no way around it is there?"

"Would you leave the Cobras behind and join the Vipers?" I question out of the blue.

"I ..." she stops and shakes her head. "No Jex I couldn't. I couldn't do that to them."

"And I've already told you I won't leave the Vipers. So with the both of us unable to leave our crews behind, I think that's our answer baby. As much as I don't want it to be," I sigh.

"So that's it? We go back to being strangers?"

"I don't think we could ever go back to being strangers Bella. I'll never stop loving you, but I just don't know what else to do."

"I see your side," she sighs softly. "I never wanted to think this far ahead, but you're right. How are we ever going to move forward? It's not fair to you, you should be able to be with a girl you can take out in public. Be with someone you can introduce to all of your friends; someone you can marry and have children with. Someone who can be a part of the Viper world."

I let out a deep breath and pull her into my arms, kissing the top of her head. "This is why I didn't want to talk."

"I wish we didn't," she snuggles into my arms and presses a kiss to my chest. "I'm not ready to let you go Jex."

"I'm not ready to let you go either."

...

Bella and I spent the rest of the day together, acting as if it's the last time we're going to see each other (even though we both know that it won't be). As much as Bella and I shouldn't be together, we keep coming back together every time we try to pull away.

I've dressed in black jeans, boots and a casual black t-shirt. I make my way down the hall and into the living room, where Bella is laying around watching T.V. "Will you be here when I get home?" I question, as I make my way over and sit down on the couch.

"No, I'll head home and hang out with the family for a little while. I'll see what's happening in their world."

"But you will be back right?"

"I'm not going anywhere Jex. Look, maybe we're prolonging what isn't meant to be, but I'm still here."

Laying down, I press a kiss to her lips. "I love you."

"I'll come back tomorrow?" She replies, as she presses a few small kisses to my lips.

"You better."

"I'll always come back to you."

"And me to you." 

This chapter was edited and proof read by the amazing ElleRWrites