"Love me for my monsters and I'll love you for yours."
In which Holly Gilbert learns just how thin the line of love and hate is.
(THE VAMPIRE DIARIES)
(KLAUS x OC)
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The next morning when Holly woke up, she knew it was going to be a bad day.
Dreams of endless oceans massacred her sleep, tossing and turning all night long with no relief. For as long as Holly could remember her mind had been plagued with darkness. Irrational fear, overpowering dread, extreme exhaustion, self-loathing and desperation. Like the waves of the ocean they came and went, sometimes strong and sometimes hardly noticeable. Sometimes there was nothing. The water was still. No highs or lows. Nada. Like the vampires humanity switch, except Holly had no say.
Both were just as bad as the other. Either deficient or in excess. Yet life moved on. The tide never stopped turning so Holly never stopped fighting. But on days like today, it gets harder to fight. Opening her eyes took effort and the mere thought of getting out of bed caused her muscles to ache and groan.
"You sure you alright?" Elena walked in with a cup of coffee. Placing it down on the table, she moved across the room, opening the curtains.
"Mmhmm," Holly pulled the duvet over her eyes trying to hide as Elena slumped onto the bed beside her, lying down too.
"You want me to stay with you?"
Holly shook her head, eager to be alone.
"Ok then, I've got to get to class. Are you coming to the Illumination Night festival?"
"I don't know. I just want to sleep."
"Ok," Elena kissed her sister's forehead, "call me if you need anything." Holly nodded, pulling her old teddy closer into her chest trying to sink into the bed.
"Bye Hols!" Jeremy and Alaric called from the bottom of the stairs.
Elena stood up, walking out, "call me!"
"Shut up," Holly muttered, before falling back into her restless nightmare.
🤍
Jolting upright with a start, Holly tried to calm her pacing heart. It was a dream. Another stupid dream filled with stupid water and stupid nothing. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Rubbing her eyes, she glanced at the clock, 15:30. Having spent nearly 16 hours in bed, Holly could still quite happily go back to sleep for another ten hours. Or twenty. Reaching over for a phone, Holly was greeted by new messages,
Care: school's out, missed you! B & I r decorating for festival if up for it xxx
Elena: at grill with A & J x (call me!)
Holly sighed, too tired to reply. Taking a minute to mentally prepare herself, she climbed out of bed. Wincing as her muscles got used to the sudden movement she slowly walked downstairs, hands fiddling with her pyjama pants drawstring. The kitchen was, obviously, empty. Checking the coffee pot, Holly closed her eyes in thanks before grabbing herself a cup. Opening the fridge, she was met with only ingredients. Nothing she could instantly eat. Muttering a "fuck it", Holly opened the freezer and reached for the nearest tube of ice cream. Leaning against the kitchen counter, Holly felt a tiny sense of proud. Here she was, she had gotten out of bed, gotten herself some (relatively) healthy food and (something similar to) water. Her therapist Joanna would be proud.
