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"hi j..." lilac macintosh
it was around midnight and jaeden couldn't stop thinking about lils. he just wanted to watch the memories he made with her, so he went to the hallway closet and pulled out a box labeled "lilac macintosh". he opened the lid and there sat, notes, pieces of paper, random items, cds filled with videos of them, and lastly the letter she gave him.
first he opened the goodbye letter and the notes, reading them over. remembering all the little things out of each one.
after, he looked at each individual item. one was a lemonade cup, from when they went to the fair. another was a rock they had bought at a store, they painted it and named it blake.... because lilac just liked the name blake.
then he moved on to the cds. he grabbed his macbook and inserted the cd. a file popped up and he pressed on the first attachment.
lilac was holding her phone up while they were on the ride. she pointed the video to harry and wes, who wes was excited and harry.... not so much. she then moved the camera towards jaeden who was trying to ask her a question. once the camera landed on him he blushed, "you weirdo" he joked and interlaced their hands.
"we're about to go on the ride!!" lilac exclaimed and ended the video.
jaeden then pressed on the next one, which was a screen recording of the live stream that they did face masks.
you could see lilac reading a comment, "do you listen to girl in re- JAEDEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" lilac playfully shrieked when he scratched his face and got some of the mask on his hand. "i accidentally scratched my face," he frowned innocently, "you had one job," she giggled and he ran into the bathroom to wash his hand.
jaeden laughed remembering the video like it was yesterday. he watched tons of videos of them messing around until he got to one he didn't recognize, most of them were of the two, but this one.... was just of lilac.
"hi j..." lilac started. "i don't mean this to be like thriteen reasons why vibes... but if you're watching this... i'm probably not around anymore," lilacs smile quickly turned into a frown and she started to tear up.
"and i know that if i said that to you right now you'd say, 'oh! you're not dying! don't talk like that!!' but it's true. i can see the way the nurses look at me when i go in for treatments, they look at me like they're expecting me to drop dead on the floor. what sucks is that, i'm a teenager, so my anxiety and insecurities just goes up, and a person my age or any age really... should never go through something like this," she wiped a tear off her cheek.
"j, i don't know if i'm gonna do anything or write anything before i die, so i just wanted to make this video... just in case. god i don't even know if jaeden is the one watching this, so jaeden if this isn't you... uh then hi viewer. you get to learn how much i love the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with,
"jaeden... he was so incredible. he had talents that could wow a person within two seconds. his smile was brighter than the sun. his laugh was music to everyone's ears. his voice was like the sun breaking through a storm, it was so soft and angelic. his hugs... wow. when i'm upset i just need jaeden to hug me and boom, i'm better, he's so caring too so he makes sure you're okay. jaedens honestly the most modest, loyal, talented, caring, courageous, loving person you or myself could ever meet. and i hope that he finds the right girl to love him,
"my best friend wes, once asked, "will you ever marry lilac?" and he answered, "i don't know about marrying her, but if i do. i'll probably date her first then it might lead up to marriage," and guess what. a few days ago, we actually played out our wedding. i love him so much.
"and i don't know if you know him, but if you do. you're damn right lucky, because anyone would be lucky to know jaeden.
"i don't know if you know this but it actually started out with me having a fan page for him... he had no idea who i was until he answered a dm i sent him, and then we became friends. then i met him on july 3rd and now i'm dating him. and i swear i love him.
"i, lilac macintosh, love jaeden wesley martell. and i'll love him until the world ends, i'll love him forever until forever is at an end. my love for him is infinite. but like hazel grace would word it, some infinities are bigger than other infinities, but j and i's love was the biggest of them all.
"and j if this is you. i love you... yes i LOVE you. and i will always LOVE you, present tense, never past," and lilac smiled at the camera and ended the video.
jaedens cheeks were tear stained and he took out the cd and closed his laptop.
he for sure went to bed smiling that night, and right before he closed his eyes, he looked up at his ceiling and said "i love you too lils," and fell asleep.
