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After dashing from the party and jumping into a taxi, I made it back to my apartment. Keira ran to me in panic when she saw my face but I had no words. I felt like I was in a really crazy dream and everything that had just happened was just a memory of that dream that I was now awake from and confused as hell.
I waved my hand at Keira, a signal to tell her to leave me be, and she did so as I rushed into my room and closed the door.
Caden's words repeatedly echoed through my head and I couldn't shake it. Had he really just said that? Impossible, I must have imagined it! But I didn't, he said those exact words.
'Oh god, oh god, oh god...' I whispered, repeatedly, pacing back and forth in my room.
I finally kicked off my heels and took off my dress, putting my pyjamas on before I wiped off my makeup and pulled my hair back. Then, I sat on the edge of my bed and wondered what to do next. I didn't want to just sit and keep thinking about all of that stuff from the party. I needed to stop thinking! I had to make a plan. I couldn't deal with all of this anymore. My life had become a soap opera!
Racing to my closet, I pulled out all of the gifts I had bought for everyone, along with the wrapping paper and I laid everything out on the floor and sat down. I wrapped each gift slowly and carefully, making sure they were all presented well. It was all I could think of to distract my mind and Christmas was only days away anyway. With everything going on, I had forgot about wrapping gifts and that only reminded me of how distracted I had been by my crazy lifestyle. I'd been so hung up on doing my own thing and not thinking of others that I had even neglected to be prepared for Christmas. It was so unlike me! Everything was so unlike me.
Once the gifts were wrapped, I arranged them into their gift bags and returned to sitting on the edge of my bed, nibbling on my thumbnails.
'I love her!'
'Ugh, stop it!' I scolded myself for going back to those words and I ran to the bathroom, brushing my teeth for around ten minutes until I had to stop because my gums were hurting.
I hurried back to my room, frantically darting about trying to tidy up every tiny bit of mess or rearranging anything out of place. I then pulled everything out of my drawers and wardrobe, sorting it into colour coordinated groups and put them all away neatly again.
It was almost 11pm and I still hadn't dared to check my phone that was still in my clutch. I was a nervous wreck in case I had a text from Caden but then I thought to myself, if he was trying to contact me and I wasn't answering, he could come to my place...
'Oh, no, no, no,' I murmured, diving for my bag to pull out my phone.
There was one text from Kam and one from Caden. Kam was asking where I'd gone and if I was okay. Caden was also asking where I was.
I replied to Kam telling him I was home and fine and just wanted to go to sleep and asked him to tell Caden I was fine too. I couldn't reply to Caden. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I was still in some type of shock from the whole ordeal but I knew one thing was for sure, I could not possibly have spoken to him in the frame of mind that I was in. I felt lost.
