「 deja vu」° || baek kyung ||

𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

And so, after nearly one year and over 200k words, we've come to an end. Please excuse me while I ugly cry in a corner because this story is my baby and the first fanfiction that I've ever completed. 

I want to thank each and every one of you for putting up with the misadventures, for reading and commenting and voting and encouraging me. Y'all the real mvp❤

Writing this was an exciting journey. I've cried and cursed and turned a blind eye to the plotholes that I thought I found. Like I said in one of the notes lost in the 60-odd chapters, I began to form the plot with the ending in mind because Baek Kyung's last scene was just *chef's kiss*.  The thought of giving up this fic crossed my mind a couple of times, tbh.

The initial few months I was beyond happy with the responses I received but then it began to dwindle and there would be days when I seriously considered taking down the book because I believed that nobody was reading it. Apart from all the votes and the beautiful comments, I think it's the fact that I don't leave home at all that helped me finish this lol.

Han Yeonha was meant to be the infuriating character that she was, with all the mistakes and the bad decisions that she made over the course of the story. She came off as too saint-like to me and, honest to god, there were times when I wanted to reach through the screen and smack her senseless. 

Her relationship with Haru was based off of a few people I know who grew up with nobody to depend on but each other. However, their dynamics with Jiho (and Jinho up till one point) is different as Yeonha played the role of a pseudo-parent for the twins while Haru was testing out the waters as an older brother.  I looked forward to the part where she realized that Haru, despite being her 'sibling' had different priorities and that it was okay for him to think that way.

The circle of friends consisting of Bom, Jung, Taek, Juda, Kyung and Yeonha was my favorite. It just sort of...fell into place with the story. Taek was a character I added as an extra but I ended up growing fond of him so he stayed till the epilogue :3

With Kyung, I wanted their relationship to be built on mutual trust, respect and honesty. Well, as honest as they could get with each other considering how Yeonha kept hiding stuff from him and then there was the whole scene where he decides to let her go. I had initially debated on including anything steamy but then as I continued to write it, it almost turned into an erotica (hehehe) and I didn't really want the focus of the story to be on those parts only. (But like,if I had it my way, they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off each other)

Yeonha and Danoh were similar to each other in many ways. Both wanted to go the distance to make sure that they lived. However, it took Yeonha quite a long time to come to understand that and to empathize with Danoh.

There were many scenes and parts that had to be cut for the sake of the lengths of the chapters. But I'd like to think that they did happen in my mind. 

I also tried to draw as many parallels as I could in the story and a part of me wished that someone would point them out just for the sake of validation (and they did).

Yeonha was meant to lose her memory. I had it planned ever since I had started writing her 'collapse' scenes. However, once I had actually made it happen, I was kinda lost as to what to do next. Despite her struggle, her way of getting her memory back was never meant to be as a result of a grand gesture. It was supposed to be anticlimactic or maybe even accidental.

The ending was too sudden and was meant hit Yeonha unexpectedly. Hence, there was no goodbye scene between her and Haru, and their parents+Jiho. 

I wrote and rewrote the epilogue so many times. In one version, Kyung and Yeonha were married with twins but it felt too...rushed so I scrapped the idea. In another version, Kyung was her student-tutor but the epilogue crossed 10k words so I had to give that up as well. All the other characters were meant to reprise as well (Juda was supposed to be Yeonha's ex in one ;) ) but I didn't want to drag things any further. 

And yes, Bom does not come back.

The final dialogue was always going to be 'we're free for now' because, at the end of the day, they're still comic characters whose world was still at the mercy of the Writer. But, Kyung and Yeonha are extras so, yay! 

Overall, maybe some day I'll return to this book and rewrite certain parts.

Gosh, I really don't want to let go of this book but everything ends eventually and I do have other projects that I'm working on [Abditory is something based of an idea I had been toying around for a while now. And I really really love the MC, Kang Jia]. Although, I may take a small break from writing/posting after this for peace of mind.

I hope you've had as amazing a time reading Deja Vu as I had while writing it! (shit, i'm sobbing again) I'll see you all in some other future projects. 

Wear a mask, stay safe and healthy. I love you all❤