f i f t y - f i v e

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an// happy new year, everyone! i love you all so so much, and i wish you all a very happy 2021 <3 thank you for sticking with me this past year and reading my work, i lovelovelove you all <3

(y/n pov)

"Hey." Gray's eyes opened as you looked up at him. He turned to look down at you.

"Still awake?" he asked. You sat up a little and he stared. "Get some sleep."

"I'm trying," you whispered. "I am."

"I know, I know," he whispered, turning onto his side. You stared down at him for a moment. "Hm?"

"Nothing," you whispered, eyes watering. He sighed.

"Oh no." You shut your eyes as tears rolled down silently. He raised his arm to drape over your waist and you fell back to your pillow, face turning into it. "Hey."

"It's not fair," you whispered. He pulled you close to him, arm wrapping fully around you. You refused to look up at him, keeping your face pressed to the fabric of your pillow.

"I know."

"Why are bad things always happening to us?" you asked, in a sniffle. Gray sighed, his breath hitting the back of your neck. "We're the ones that had a weird marriage, we're the ones that are fighting and now we're the ones losing our baby."

"Hey," he whispered, rubbing the small of your back. "Breathe."

"It's not fair, Gray," you whispered, turning into his chest. He held you close as your leg lodged between the two of his.

"I know."

"What if I can't-- can't have a baby or som--"

"Don't say that."

"You never know," you mumbled. "Might as well be possible with everything that seems to happen to only me." He sighed and you wrapped your arms around yourself, face in Gray's sweatshirt.

"These things hap-- happen to other people too," he whispered. "And you can have babies- we don't know for sure this one's gone," he mumbled, pressing his hand to your stomach. You began to cry harder.

"I do," you mumbled. "I can feel it-- he's not there."

"He?" Gray asked. "You know it's a boy?"

"Was," you mumbled. Gray let out a sigh. "I don't know; I had a very good feeling."

"Oh," he mumbled. You wiped at your eyes before pulling away from him. You looked up to see his eyes just as red as yours. "Hopefully tomorrow we'll-- we'll know for sure-- what if there's a chance that the baby is okay?" You shrugged.

"But I'm--"

"It could just be a minor complication." You nodded slowly.

"I really hope so." He kissed your head and you looked up to meet your lips with his. "What if the baby's gone?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "We'll have an angel baby then." You shut your eyes tight as more tears rolled down.

"What if I can't have ba--"

"Y/N, stop it." You wiped at your eyes and he took your wrist to rest your arm over his hip. You hugged him. "We'll have a kid, I know we will."

"Well, apparently I can't--"

"Stop it," he whispered. You cried into his shoulder and he rubbed up and down your back, kissing your head every so often. "Maybe we should've headed to the hospital as soon as you found out," he whispered.

"Yeah except you slammed the door out on me," you mumbled with a hiccup. He sighed.

"I'm really sorry," he whispered. "I got-- I was already upset and then-"

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