𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 || ᴺᵃʳᵘᵗᵒ ᴼⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗˢ ⁽ᵗᵉᵐᵖᵒʳᵃʳⁱˡʸ ᶜˡᵒˢᵉᵈ⁾

043 | 𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚒~𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜?

     You woke up to a hand around your throat struggled against the strong hand holding you down.

    "Sasori...!" you choked out, clawing desperately at the fingers. "L-let go, Sasori!" you coughed, "It's me." you tried to keep a calm mind, but your vision was getting more cloudy by the moment, with you running out of energy.

     Finally, you stop struggling. Maybe he'd let go if he believed that you, or whichever entity you replaced in his head, was dead. He snarled once, then his grip around your neck slowly loosened. Once you had calmed yourself down, you slowly reached up to cup your boyfriend's face with your hands, cradling it like he was the most delicate thing in the world.

     "Sas-" you whispered, the choking having taken its toll on your voice. "Sasori, honey, wake up. You're having another nightmare."

     He immediately snatched both of your wrists and pinned them above your head. You winced at the sudden movement, and you could feel your muscles stretching further than they were meant to.

     "Love-" you tried again. "Sasori."

     His body went still when you called him that. His breath hitched, and his grip on your wrist loosened ever so slightly. Slowly, you moved your wrists apart, then moved in to wrap your boyfriend in a bear hug. You rubbed his back soothingly. "It's okay, dear. It's okay. You're just having another nightmare."

     He gradually shifted away from you. Blinking, he tried to recollect himself. You managed a small smile of relief, which disappeared as soon as you saw his eyes land on your bruised neck.

     "(Y/n)," his voice was small, almost as if he was scared this was real. "(Y/n), did I do that to you?"

     Clearing your throat, you replied as calmly as you could. "Yeah, but it's okay, you were just having another nightmare. You didn't really hurt me, see?" you tried to take his hand and place it on your neck to prove to him that you weren't hurt, but he flinched away at your touch. You blinked back tears, trying not to let them fall. 

     You pushed back the covers to your bed and made your way into the kitchen. Opening the cabinets, you looked for the hot cocoa mix that was perpetually in stock at your boyfriend's apartment. He loved hot cocoa, and although chamomile was usually the 'calming' tea, you found that cocoa had a much better effect on Sasori. Quickly brewing two cups, you added some marshmallows and carried them back into the bedroom. Sitting down on the bed next to Sasori, you nudged him lightly with your elbow.

     "Drink," you said sternly as you held out the white cup to him.

     He reached out and took the cup from you. He carefully took measured sips, never once looking at you. You focused your eyes on your own cup instead and winced when you took your first sip. You hadn't expected it to be so painful to swallow. Apparently, your throat muscles were still sore. Forcing yourself to take sips of the drink normally so that he wouldn't catch on and ask what was wrong, you sat in silence, waiting until he was ready to talk.

     Sasori moved to speak, but words wouldn't come out of his mouth. He'd hurt you.

     The sounds that came out of his mouth were more of a choked sob than anything else. Why? Why did this happen? He'd stopped having nightmares about his childhood years ago. Why now? He couldn't understand it. Sleeping together with you in the same bed should have brought warmth and comfort. Peace. The opposite of what had transpired earlier. Taking another big gulp of his drink, he tried to clear his mind.

     "Sasori?" you asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him. "I'm okay, love. Look, I'm right here," you tried to assure him that he didn't really hurt you. The red-haired didn't respond. Suddenly, he stood up and marched out of the bedroom, soon leaving you alone as he left your humble abode.

    You were still sitting quietly on the bed, hands wrapped around your favorite mug. Tears were trickling down your eyes as they then fall into your hot cocoa, yet still, you sat in silence. You didn't think that you had ever felt so helpless before, the aching in your chest had never been as painful. You missed him. You wanted to hold him, tell him that everything would be okay, but he hadn't let you.

You weren't willing to give up on this relationship, and you knew that he wouldn't let it go without a fight either. Slowly, grogginess seeped in and you fell asleep, tear tracks staining your cheeks.

You woke up to the sound of footsteps by the bed. Blearily, you blinked your eyes, trying to rid your vision of the fuzziness that took over, and stared up at your boyfriend. He sat down beside you on the bed.

-×-

     "Hey."

     "Hey yourself," you responded in a sleepy tone.

     His gaze shifted towards your neck, where bruises in the shape of his hand littered your skin. He lifted a hand cautiously and gently rubbed your throat with his thumb.

     "Does it hurt?" He whispered, looking ashamed of himself. "Please tell me the truth."

     "Only a little," you admitted, then moved to place your hand on top of his. He was clearly upset at his actions. You were the first person other than granny Chiyo and his parents who'd actually cared for him and yet he had caused you pain.

     "You weren't in control of yourself, Sasori," you said quietly. "You were having a nightmare. It wasn't your fault."

     "That's the problem," he whispered harshly. "I wasn't in control of myself. I couldn't stop myself. What if it happens again? What then, (Y/n)? What if we're unlucky?"

     "It won't happen again," you reply sternly. "Because you're going to talk to me about that nightmare you had and we're going to work through it. If we can't, then I'll take you to see a therapist. We're going to work this out, love,"

     He inhaled sharply, then took his other hand and wrapped you in a hug.

1027 words

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