𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 || ᴺᵃʳᵘᵗᵒ ᴼⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗˢ ⁽ᵗᵉᵐᵖᵒʳᵃʳⁱˡʸ ᶜˡᵒˢᵉᵈ⁾

089 | 𝙾𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚞~𝚂 𝚘𝚛 𝙼?

Requested by tsunadesenju22 - I have a request for Naruto one-shots, Orochimaru

"I wonder which one is she?" a certain snake man entered the living room and inquired out loud, giving poor Kabuto a heart attack. Hauling a paper bag inside.

"What do you mean, Lord Orochimaru?" the gray-haired man who sat on the couch pushed his circular glasses and adjusted his spot on the couch. His reading session was interrupted. If it were someone else he wouldn't mind, however, if it was Orochimaru, he would be blurting out apologies after apologies that he took a few minutes of his time. Okay, maybe that part was exaggerated a bit, but you get the gist of how much Kabuto respected Orochimaru.

"Is she an S or an M?" right after the question was out, Kabuto's cheeks turned a slight pink and he coughed nervously, averting eye contact with the snake man.

"Why should I answer such a vulgar question, my Lord?" Kabuto replied, still avoiding eye contact, eyes glued to his book.

"It's an important matter."

Kabuto sighed and without thinking he answered, "I think she's an M. Or she might be an S? She did look like she was having fun degrading and scolding me last time I was in the kitchen."

"An S? Oh, to see her, in a small black dress-" Orochimaru stopped himself as when he realized what four eyes was talking about. "I'm not talking about THAT kind of S and M. I'm talking about clothing size, Kabuto."

...

The silence was awkward and uncomfortable for both men. Just the ticking of the old wall clock was audible and the faint smell of lilac coming from the dim-lit scented candle.

"Forgive me, Orochimaru. I didn't mean-" Kabuto's attempt at apologizing came to halt when Orochimaru chimed in.

"No, no, it's fine." he chuckled. Putting down the paper bag on the couch. His hands dug into it to reach for a certain article of clothing. "I went to the village earlier and I bought a few souvenirs for you and (Y/n). There was this certain shop that sold an item of clothing called t-shirts with katakana writings on them." he continued as Kabuto's mind already wandered to the worst-case scenario. It was similar to when tourists buy clothing with strange writings in a language they don't even know without knowing what they actually mean.

"My Lord, do you not know Hiragana or Katakana?" Kabuto inquired as his Lord pulled out a piece of white T-shirt.

"Unfortunately, I don't, not a single character." that confirmed Kabuto's fears.
"Can you show me what's written on the clothing?" Orochimaru nodded and gave the T-shirt to him. Kabuto looked at the characters as it read: ばか.

"I- um..."

"What does that say, Kabuto?" he asked the slightly flustered shinobi. Four eyes, with heated cheeks and slight tremble, he answered.

"I believe that one's talking about a person that's not so... Uh- bright." he took a deep breath and exhaled with saying, "I'll take that one, my Lord."

"Oh, alright. There are also two more that are written in English. A language I have never heard of for the life of me." Kabuto's heart rate sped up. He has learned English before. Sadly his Lord has not.

"Can I see them?" Orochimaru pulled two T-shirts, one black, and one white. With a writing one them of the opposite colors. The black one read "My Wife" while the white one read "My Husband".

"My Lord, are you sure you don't know English?"

"Not one word." Kabuto chuckled nervously.

"I think those shirts will fit you and (Y/n) perfectly."

"What does it mean if it fits us?"

"One is talking about someone's partner - female partner - for life, and the other is talking about the male partner, like a spouse." a wave of light pink appeared on Orochimaru's cheeks. He took the T-shirt from Kabuto's hands and folded them back into the paper bag, whispering something along the lines of "I'm so glad I bought them."

"Well, thank you for your time Kabuto, you can have the first T-shirt. I am going to go to drop these in (Y/n)'s room."

703 words

ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉﾞ❀~

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