Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 27

Wei Wuxian was staring blankly in the direction of Wen Ning, he was frozen in shock at what he was hearing: "There is no night hunt? They came only to look for me? Not to hurt me or the baby? Could it really be true? Is it not just a ruse to find me and bring me back before Lan Zhan so he would be able to finish his duty? Am I allowed to hope that my wildest fantasies could come true?"

In the midst of his inner turmoil he could only barely register the younger boy's next words: "I understand you are scared for your baby; if you really do not want to go back, you do not have to. I am prepared to stay here with you and do my best to insure that you and the baby would be safe. But it would be better and more comfortable for you both if you came back; not to Lotus Pier or Cloud Recess if you are unwilling, perhaps to Yiling or Qinghe or anywhere else with soft beds and warm food."

Wei Wuxian felt like he had no more tears, even though right now, he wanted to cry of happiness. Wen Ning was sincere; he could feel it. He knew the younger boy would never put him in harm's way. He was convinced that what he was telling him was the truth, he believed him. The Dafan Wen doctor's words were serene, concerned, without a hint of scolding, only full or worry.

The Yunmeng Jiang disciple was almost ready to just stand up and go back with him on the spot, it was all he ever wanted in the first place. He had run away to protect the baby in his belly but he could feel he was failing miserably which was only confirmed by Wen Ning's next words:

"No one needs to know we have found you, I just want you to know that I am here for you and whatever you decide, I will stay by your side. You cannot go on like this; I think you already know that. You and the baby, you are both suffering and barely clinging to life at this point. If you stay here all alone, I suspect you would not survive until the delivery. I am sorry to say this, Young Master Wei, but you are in a terrible shape, physically and mentally. Please... Please let me help you."

Wen Ning was only thinking of him and the baby, even offering to abandon everything to stay by his side, whether he decided to go back or not. Wei Wuxian's heart was breaking at the thought of forcing the younger boy away from Jiang Cheng and their happy marriage. He knew just how hard it was to be separated from one's bonded partner.

Wei Wuxian had tears in his eyes although he thought he had them no more after crying so much: "I would go back, yes, I would go back to Yiling with Wen Ning; I am not yet able to agree to face everyone but I have to take care of myself, just as Wen Ning said. I can accept help; I have already learned that, I have just disregarded it in my despair. I should have told Lan Zhan in the first place and not run away selfishly, I should have believed in him. Although I am not ready to face him at the moment, nor let him know where I am just yet, I should at least let Wen Ning inform him that I am safe and sound.

I have wholeheartedly believed that my husband was searching for me day and night from the very beginning, I just did not want to expose myself to the possibility of losing a child a second time. I was devastated then, and I did not know what was happening. Now I know and I would surely not be able to bear the pain a second time.

I could not forgive himself for disregarding the fact that Lan Zhan is not Madame Yu and fearing him the same way I was scared of her. I really should have told him... I had, although unwillingly, caused him pain again. To Lan Zhan, to my perfect and loving husband who had always supported me and devoted himself to me without asking anything in return. I had sworn to make him happy until the end of our days and look at me now, I am the source of his distress; Wen Ning just said that Lan Zhan had collapsed in his relentless search for me! How could I have allowed that?!"

Wei Wuxian was extremely apologetic at the moment and angry at himself for causing such a chaos. He only now saw how rashly and selfishly he had acted and he could not stand it. He wanted to go back and apologize to everyone, especially to Lan Zhan, for causing them worry. The fear for his baby was still there, but lesser now, it was appeased by Wen Ning's words and his promise of support and protection.

He tried to stand up and go back but his body would not listen to him anymore, his attempt only resulted in him falling back down on his behind. It seemed to have startled Wen Ning who immediately shot up and run to him, his eyes full of worry even though his face was smiling gently.

"Young Master Wei, are you alright? Would you like some more food? Or water? Or do you want to go back inside? I am sorry if I have caused you distress with my rumbling; I just wanted you to know we all care and want only the best for you. It will not be like in the past, everyone knows now and everyone is ready to give you a helping hand if you so much as wish for it."

Wei Wuxian grew even more emotional, the younger boy was speaking directly to his most vulnerable and hurt part and soothing it in the same way Lan Zhan could. There was still a crying and scared young boy somewhere inside of him who craved affection and love. And now, the Dafan Wen doctor was speaking directly to him, promising everything he had ever wanted and more.

The Yunmeng Jiang disciple let himself be helped to get up and smiled gratefully at the younger boy: "Wen Ning, thank you. I am ready to go now. Please take me back."