Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 36

Jiang Cheng was standing in front of Wei Wuxian's room, his hand outstretched to knock, he was gathering his courage to go talk to his brother. After Wen Ning pointed it out for him, he could actually feel sorry for Lan Wangji, he could understand him now and he knew that he would not want to find himself in a similar situation ever again. His emotions were all over the place and he had to first rein them in, otherwise he could just as well break the fragile pregnant Omega.

He was angry at his brother for running away and causing them all to look for him, endangering Wen Ning and after all than not even being grateful to have been found. He could however already see that Wei Wuxian was not acting as he usually did, he was out of his mind, scared and refusing help. It reminded him of the time just after they had found out about the horrors of his life in Lotus Pier.

Just how fragile was he then, when Jiang Cheng's every scowl and raised voice was making him jump and blame himself for destroying their family. The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader laughed bitterly, still trying to tame his raging emotions: "I have already learned that talking to Wei Wuxian in a similar state would do no good. I do not want him to break down in self-blaming panic. I believe Wen Ning, if he said that my brother is in a bad shape, it must be really concerning.

Why the hell did he run away in the first place? If he did not want to stay with Lan Wangji, he could have just said so. I saw the Second Jade's expression when looking at him and how he would do anything he asked; if Wei Wuxian just wanted a little breather, he would not have disappeared like this. Why is he suddenly this scared of his husband? I thought things were going smoothly between them... and they are even awaiting a baby! Brother Nie must have been right when he was suggesting it has something to do with his past..."

He took several deep breaths and schooled his expression into neutrality; he would not pretend, but he could also not let his anger get the better of him and push Wei Wuxian over his limits. He was afraid that his brother could not deal with him at the moment, he had to at the very least sound non-judgmental to be able to even try talking to him about accepting Lan Wangji back.

He finished his movement and finally knocked. There was a long silence before there was a voice from the outside wanting to know who was behind the door. The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader introduced himself and was let into the room.

When he stepped inside and the door was swiftly closed behind him, it took him a while to take in the situation. The Qinghe Nie disciple was looking at him with apparent concern – evidently trying to communicate to him to be careful – for a while before turning back to the bed and saying with a joyful tone: "Brother Wei, look who came to visit you! Brother Jiang was worried about you when you would not wake up, he wanted to talk to you and congratulate you on your pregnancy."

Then Nie Huisang approached the bed and kneeled down beside it, continuing more gently: "Do you want to talk to him? I can leave you alone but if you prefer, I can stay here."

Wei Wuxian, who was sitting, supported by a pile of pillows in which he visibly wanted to disappear, turned his head to first glance at Jiang Cheng and then he lowered it back, speaking quietly, his voice small and full of uncertainty: "I will speak with him. Brother Nie, would you... will you stay here please?" He took hold of Nie Huisang's hand and grabbed it tightly as if it was his only lifeline.

The pregnant Omega was pale, trembling slightly as he was begging the Qinghe Nie disciple to stay and protect him, as if his brother could hurt him or the baby. It was truly unnerving, how Wei Wuxian was biting his lower lip and would not meet Jiang Cheng's eyes even when he finally managed to lift his head; he was looking at him suspiciously and probably checking his intentions. His other hand was protectively wrapped around his swelled stomach.

"Is he really so scared of me? Did he ask Brother Nie to stay to protect him from me? Does he not believe me anymore? True, normally I would be already scolding him harshly for his stunt, but I just cannot, in a situation like this. Just look at him! A trembling skeleton that cannot even sit upright by himself... He really looks ready to break if I as much as use a louder voice."

Jiang Cheng's heart was breaking now; he could not even imagine what Yu Ziyuan could have done to make his brother like this. He wanted to run to him and hug him tightly or he wanted to at least take his hand and squeeze it, showing support, however, he knew the gestures would not be welcomed right now. Instead, he ever so slowly approached the bed, his every movement intently observed by its occupant. He kneeled on the ground, not wanting to stress his brother by sitting directly on the bed.

He had so many questions for Wei Wuxian but those would have to wait, he came for one reason only and that was to help convince the pregnant Omega to allow Lan Wangji near him again. He did not want to burden him with answering so he just started a one-sided explanation, keeping his emotions in check and measuring carefully his voice:

"You know, when I was separated from Wen Ning, I could not relax for a second. I knew where he was supposed to be, or at least the general area, but I had a strong urge to go check on him to see if he was alright. When Brother Nie said we had to separate to go look for you, I have immediately opposed it. I would not have been able to bear it should anything happen to my fated partner. In the end, it was Wen Ning who convinced me he wanted to do it and we took every precaution. But it was still really, really hard letting him go out of my sight.

And then I got this bad feeling that something happened and immediately rushed where he should have been to meet him. I was scared out of my mind when I could not find him there and when I realized that his heat was about to start and I was not at his side. It was torture. I think I have lost my mind for some time, searching blindly for him in total panic. I managed to calm down and relax only when I had him safely wrapped in my arms again."

Wei Wuxian was looking directly at him now, probably thinking why Jiang Cheng would talk about something like this but listening quietly nevertheless. The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader took a deep breath and tried to convey his point without getting emotional and scolding his brother, still making sure his voice was not too loud and not too angry:

"What I want to say, you should quickly sort out whatever you are feeling and let your husband come back to you. I am sure he is feeling like I did right this moment, hell, he was surely feeling like that ever since you disappeared. I know you probably have your reasons but you really should not make him wait any longer.

I promise to protect you no matter what, even though I have a feeling you will not need that as the Second Jade would never try to hurt you; we will all protect you. But if you are still scared of him, I am certain we can find a solution to that as well. He would probably not mind being tied up just to be close to you again..."

Jiang Cheng smiled slightly at the image that popped up in his head, tied up Lan Wangji was just hilarious. He tried to keep back his laughter in order not to offend Wei Wuxian. He did not have to apparently as his brother was already laughing his head off, tears streaming down his cheeks. Although he sounded a little maniacal, it was better than his small scared voice from before.