Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 2

Lan Zhan caressed the back of the sleeping Wei Ying, he waited for his soulmate to wake up so he would be the first thing he saw after he opened his eyes. He already had to leave their bed to go fetch breakfast and tugged himself back in only minutes after leaving it, but he still felt he was gone for too long. He just wanted to enjoy a peaceful morning with his husband.

The Second Jade could not do that all the time due to his daily duties but every so often he would allow both himself and his soulmate to act a little spoiled. On those days he would watch Wei Ying's sleeping face and would wonder how he was blessed to have such lovely husband. He felt extremely happy and did not mind at all that he would need to take care of all his duties in the afternoon.

Ever since their marriage, they were dutifully enjoying their "everyday". Lan Zhan was only glad that the Jingshi was far away from other residential buildings, their activities proved to be rather loud at times. He would however never give them up for anything in the world. Unfortunately, he still had his duties to take care of so his time with the younger boy was limited, too much to his liking.

He was extremely happy that Wei Ying was doing so much better then when he first came to Cloud Recess; his body healed and have gotten stronger, he was not tired most of the time anymore, his fears dimmed and his nightmares were only a rare occurrence. He was really proud of the Yunmeng Jiang disciple's progress. He hoped that the younger boy was slowly forgetting his horrible past and the suffering he had to go through at the hands of Yu Ziyuan.

Thinking back, he still wanted the younger boy's adoptive mother to suffer the same. The way she treated the poor disciple for years was inhumane, she was a real monster in disguise, hiding her crime from the whole world. Lan Zhan shuddered at the memory of Wei Ying's first weeks in Cloud Recess; the Yunmeng Jiang disciple was then extremely vulnerable and unstable, he was also afraid of accepting every and all offers of help, preferring to suffer alone.

His self-esteem and self-worth were nearly inexistent. He needed constant reassurances and loving care but in the end he was able to believe he was worthy of Lan Zhan's love and accepted to marry the older boy. The Second Jade still could not believe his luck, he had found a fated soulmate so early when some were waiting their whole life and never found theirs. He really was blessed.

Wei Ying finally opened his eyes and smiled sweetly at him. There was no greater happiness for the older boy.

They ate breakfast in unusual silence, the younger boy seemed deep in thoughts, Lan Zhan scowled slightly, he wanted to know what was on the Yunmeng Jiang disciple's mind but he did not want to pry. He wanted to give the other boy some space and wait for him to confide in him. It did not ease his worries when Wei Ying assured him half-heartedly and suggested to go feed the rabbits without adding anything else.

The younger boy seemed quite unwell as they were making their way to the back mountains, pale and his steps were unsteady where he would normally bounce around skipping over obstacles. The Second Jade was on the verge of suggesting to go back and for his soulmate to rest, but they have already arrived and Wei Ying perked up at the sight of the rabbits, playing with them and petting them happily. Lan Zhan calmed down with a relieved sigh, the other boy seemed alright now, perhaps he had imagined it.

***

Wei Ying opened his eyes and found Lan Zhan fondly staring at him. He stretched like a cat, nuzzling closer to his husband and gave him a satisfied smile. He loved the mornings when his soulmate would stay in bed and wait for him to wake up. It was another blissfully uneventful night, no night terrors haunted his dreams filled with the older boy.

They stayed in bed for a while longer until Wei Ying's stomach reminded them that they could no longer go without breakfast. They got up, helped each other with putting on their robes and doing their hair, then they sat at the table. When the younger boy saw what Lan Zhan had prepared for him, he beamed in the older boy's direction, his lips curling into a mischievous grin as he teased: "Lan Zhan, you really spoil me too much. If you feed me in this way, I will become too fat to move."

The Second Jade said nothing, only raising his eyebrows and looking at him intensely. "Alright, alright, I am eating," laughed the younger boy and took a huge bite of the spiced dumpling.

It was his favourite but today, it somehow did not taste the same as always. Wei Ying wondered if Lan Zhan used different spices perhaps or if he tried adding new ingredients. His stomach turned as he tried to swallow. He did not want to worry his soulmate so he just smiled and complimented the new taste. He was concentrating on calming his stomach so he did not notice the surprised expression on Lan Zhan's face.

They finished the meal in silence. It was nothing unusual for the older boy to obey the Gusu Lan sect rule of no talking while eating, it was the Yunmeng Jiang disciple who was always filling the silence, chatting happily about anything and everything. Today however, Wei Ying was quiet, fully focused on not worrying his husband by suddenly throwing up his breakfast. Most of the meal was still sitting on the table, untouched.

Wei Ying finally noticed Lan Zhan's eyes on him, inquiring what could be wrong. After passing a long time together, he did no longer need the older boy to verbalize his feelings and worries, he could read him like an open book. He was still not as good as Lan Xichen, but he was getting better at it.

He pulled himself together and assured: "Ah, Lan Zhan, I am just not all that hungry today." When the Second Jade's posture did not relax, he changed the topic: "Should we go to feed the rabbits? They should be fairly hungry too, I do not want any of them getting sick or lonely."

Some more staring and a slight nod later they left the Jingshi and headed off to the back mountains and the clearing where their rabbits lived. Wei Ying was not bouncing around as usual, his stomach was not feeling good, but it was not as bad as before. Maybe it was just a one-time thing thought the younger boy and then forgot all about it when the hungry white fur balls gathered around them asking for treats and attention.

He was absorbed in petting the rabbits and did not notice Lan Zhan's worried expression nor his soulmate's alarmed feelings that were transferred through their shared mental bond.