Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 38

Lan Xichen was bringing his brother his breakfast as he usually did these past few days, ever since the letter came informing him that Wei Wuxian had been found but would need more time to recover before being ready to meet them. He was eager to see his brother-in-law himself, and it must have been so much harder for Lan Wangji.

The Second Jade did not leave his room at all ever since coming to Lotus Pier, pacing around nervously when he was awake and calling for his husband while in fitful, exhausted slumber, promising him unconditional love and support if he would just come back to him. Lan Xichen could understand his brother, but he had never seen him this distressed, not even when he was caring for a sick Wei Wuxian back in Cloud Recess.

Lan Wangji was literally withering away and he did not know what he could do to ease his pain, if only a little bit. He could only make sure he ate and keep him company, repeating reassurances that he would like to believe were not entirely wasted.

He worried for his brother and he worried for Wei Wuxian as well. Nie Huisang made sure to send at least two letters each day to keep them updated about the younger boy's condition; the Yunmeng Jiang head disciple was still unconscious last time they received a message. Lan Xichen had to keep himself back from asking the messenger about where exactly he came from; he was still not sure whether he would not yield to his worries and went see his brother-in-law if he learned where he was. However, he was sure it was somewhere near since the messages came frequently and were very up-to-date, only hours old.

He knocked on Lan Wangji's room and entered upon receiving no reply. He sighed when he saw the Second Jade pacing around the room again. After almost three days, he had already given up his attempts at coaxing his brother into speaking about his inner feelings and worries; his younger sibling had become all but mute except for the time he slept and apologized to his husband in his dreams. Even if his brother was usually very silent, the current situation was scaring Lan Xichen quite a bit.

He set the breakfast on the low table and went to tug the other to sit down, he would have not done that otherwise. He showed the bowl of food and the chopsticks into his hands and urged him to eat: "Wangji... Even if you are not hungry, you have to eat. Otherwise, when the word comes that Wuxian wants to see you, you will have a hard time rushing to his side. You will be too worn out and he will worry..."

As per usual, he felt immense relief when the other finally started eating, although visibly forcing himself and without any appetite. It pained Lan Xichen to see his brother in this condition and he had to remind himself sometimes that Wei Wuxian was not to blame for the ordeal that his sibling was currently going through. Of course he would never blame his brother-in-law aloud, but he could not help himself to sometimes feel a prick of allegation towards him for which he felt extremely apologetic immediately afterwards.

"It is not Wuxian's fault, I am sure he had a good reason for running away. He certainly feels the same as Wangji; lost and longing for his fated soulmate. The scars that Yu Ziyuan left on him are deep and still so fresh I am afraid. I do not even want to know what horrible experience prompted him to leave Wangji. Young Master Nie had mentioned him being scared of Wangji for some reason, we really need to get to the bottom of it as soon as possible to release the both of them from this suffering." Lan Xichen was wondering again while he watched his brother finish his meal, stand up and start pacing about the room again.

The First Jade was just cleaning away the dishes when a messenger in Qinghe Nie sect robes burst without even knocking into the room. Lan Xichen stood up, immediately alarmed and fearing the worst; Lan Wangji stopped in his tracks and they both faced the incoming disciple. His robes were in disarray and sweat was coating his forehead, a telling sign of how much he was pushing himself to arrive as soon as possible.

Without any introductions, the messenger announced the big news: "Young Master Wei has woken up. He wants to see his husband."

Lan Xichen's heart skipped a beat out of relief and happiness. He wanted to inquire where his brother-in-law was so they could go visit him immediately but before the words made it out of his mouth, he already saw white robes disappearing out of the door.

The messenger, it had always been the same disciple to bring the news and witness the Second Jade's desperation each time, seemed to understand perfectly what was happening. Trying to help, he rushed out of the room and called after Lan Wangji: "Yiling, the biggest inn on the main street!"

Lan Xichen was conflicted for a moment, he wanted to go after his brother and visit Wei Wuxian immediately, but he had a sect leader image to uphold. He steeled himself in the last bits of patience he could muster and turned to the Qinghe Nie disciple who was smiling back at him. "Thank you for bringing good news. I am sorry for my brother's lack of politeness and hospitality; he was just overwhelmed. I can see you have had a rough journey, would you perhaps like some tea and refreshments before relaying the rest of the message?"

The messenger looked at him attentively. Some of his nervousness and eagerness to come after Lan Wangji must have been showing on his face as the Qinghe Nie disciple nodded to himself and replied: "Sect Leader Lan, thank you for your kind offer, I will rest a little later. There is not much else to say. Young Master Nie only told me to come as quickly as possible to the Second Young Master Lan and tell him to come see Young Master Wei. You should probably go as well, I am sorry if I am overstepping my bounds, but I think you should also go to see him. You have been worried for Young Master Wei as well, I could tell."

Lan Xichen smiled warmly at the youth before him, his assumptions and observations were spot on, Nie Huisang has chosen well. The First Jade was sure he was one of the army of spies the Qinghe Nie disciple employed and trained. The boy bowed to him and was about to leave the room when the Gusu Lan sect leader called after him: "Thank you again, for all this time. You have done well. If I can trouble you for one more task. Could you please go find Miss Jiang and inform her that her brother has woken up? She has been worried for him as well. I will take your suggestion and head to Yiling myself." He inclined his head in a polite thankful gesture.

The messenger bowed again: "Of course, Sect Leader Lan, it would be my pleasure. Please travel safely."

Lan Xichen picked up his sword and made his way to the closest court yard where he would be able to mount it and manoeuvre it without problems. He took off only minutes after Lan Wangji. Although he was pushing himself to fly at his top speed, he knew he would not catch up to him. It did not matter however; the bonded partners would need a moment for themselves.