Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 41

Lan Xichen was overwhelmed, looking at his younger brother's broken and terrified expression; he could not help himself feeling desperate and pitying the couple. He knew that the situation at hand was no one's fault, just a series of unfortunate events and coincidences; but he could not help blaming himself for not coming together with Lan Wangji, as improbable as it was, he could have prevented the situation from escalating, he was telling himself.

Now he could only try to reduce the consequences and sooth both distressed soulmates.

He led the Second Jade to sit down on the bed, silently thanking Nie Huisang for his swift thinking and assistance. He gently prayed Lan Wangji's hands from his face and tried to reassure him while fighting his own tears. He could see his brother was blaming himself for causing Wei Wuxian more distress even after being warned against it.

"Wangji, please, calm down. It was not your fault. You were just separated for a long time and your instincts got the best of you. I am sure that once Wuxian calms down, he will be once again eager to see you." Lan Xichen hoped that would be the case. The last time he saw the Yunmeng Jiang disciple, he was buried under the blanket and apparently beside himself.

There was no reaction from Lan Wangji to the First Jade's words. The older sibling was increasingly worried, he could not have his brother breaking down, he had to be strong for Wei Wuxian and their baby. He had to help them as soon as possible both for their own sake and for the sake of his unborn nephew or niece.

"I am so sorry for Wangji, he was already at his limit before coming here and now... I cannot have him blame himself and refuse the see his husband. They both need each other's proximity and support. Perhaps... if I succeed at persuading Wuxian to open up their mental bond again, they would not have to necessarily meet first and Wangji could explain himself. I do not think that if I tried to explain for him, it would have the desired effect..."

His plan formed, Lan Xichen gently urged his brother: "Wangji, why do you not release your pheromones to help Wuxian relax? Even if he is scared right now, his bonded partner's pheromones should help him calm down and relax. I will go talk to him while you wait here. Perhaps I can convince him to open up your mental bond so you can talk to him directly. I still do not know for sure what he is so scared of but I am certain that if you talk with him directly, you will be able to clear up the misunderstanding in no time."

He was waiting anxiously for his brother's acknowledgment of his plan. If Lan Wangji was not up to it, it would be of no use. After a while, the Second Jade nodded slightly without so much as looking at his older sibling. To others, it could seem like only a slumbering of his head, but to Lan Xichen it was an enthusiastic agreement. He squeezed his hands for one more time to give his brother some courage and headed back to the other room.

***

Wei Wuxian could not understand anything anymore. He was overjoyed when he saw Lan Zhan, he wanted to get up and run into his arms as soon as the older boy stepped inside the room. And then he shuddered and slumped into himself when the Second Jade growled. It was an animalistic sound that reminded him of all his previous fears and nightmares.

The Yunmeng Jiang sect disciple was now extremely confused and distressed. The others assured him repeatedly about Lan Zhan being worried for him and for the baby and that he did not want to hurt neither of them. Nie Huisang even claimed to have been in correspondence with Lan Xichen the whole time and the First Jade never once said anything about the older boy thinking otherwise. However now, Wei Wuxian was not so sure anymore.

He instinctively wanted to run away and hide again, but Lan Zhan was effectively blocking his escape route. The younger boy was immensely grateful to Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning for they stood guard and would not let the Gusu Lan sect disciple any closer if he had bad intentions. He contented himself with hiding under the blanket and sobbing his bleeding heart out.

He could not put together a single clear thought, his mind was in a complete haze, the only thing he was sure of was that he loved Lan Zhan's faint pheromones he could already smell. It was so soothing and familiar it almost hurt. He wanted to run away but then again, he did not want to; he wanted to curl in Lan Zhan's lap and let himself be comfortable and have the older boy spoil him rotten. He cried even harder, his confusing and opposing thoughts taking over.

He did not know how long had passed until he came to himself again; he could smell Lan Zhan's pheromones thickening and he relaxed immediately. He could also feel a hand gently patting his back and heard reassuring whispering: "...Lan surely did not mean it. He was just overwhelmed. He would never do anything to you or the baby. But... if you do not want to, we can send him away. You do not have to see him if you are too afraid of him. We would never let him hurt you."

He realized that it was Wen Ning who was talking to him; probably for a while already, he did not know for how long he was out of it. "But that is not what I want!" he wanted to shout. He really wanted to have his husband by his side again.

Although he was confused previously, he still wanted his husband, more and more so as the pheromones continued to sooth him and made his thoughts relaxed. He knew for a fact that Lan Zhan did not want to hurt him now, his loving pheromones were all the prove he needed. If the older boy was really angry with him or wanted to threaten him, he would not have been able to release them.

His sobbing slowly subsided and he finally managed to compose himself and come out of his hiding under the covers. He almost started to cry again when he could not see his husband anywhere in the room, no matter how hard he looked. He could only see Lan Xichen coming inside and kneeling beside the bed.

The First Jade's gentle smile could not hide entirely the worry in his eyes. He stretched out his arm and when Wei Wuxian did not flinch away, he took hold of both his hands, looking him directly into the eyes. The Yunmeng Jiang head disciple sniffled one last time and then gave his brother-in-law his undivided attention. He did not know that Lan Xichen would be also coming, but he was glad to see him.

The Gusu Lan sect leader's voice remained gentle, soothing and quiet as he started explaining: "Wuxian, I am so happy to see you are doing better. Wangji did not mean to scare you, he is extremely sorry for that. He is waiting in the room next door, he will not come here unless you say so, he does not want to cause you any more distress. It was just his instincts taking the better of him as he saw you after so much time apart with another Alpha.

I think that deep down you know he would never hurt you, I can however understand that you are frightened and you want to protect your baby. Wangji does want that as well. He was worried about you the whole time you were missing, he was worried for you and the baby.

After all you went through, it might be hard for you to believe in words. I hope you can feel Wangji's sincerity in his pheromones... I have a proposition for you, on Wangji's behalf, if you still want to try and put your faith in him. He wanted to talk with you this whole time but he could not find the right words. But I know that if you wanted, you could hear him out just fine."

Lan Xichen did not openly reveal the existence of the mental bond between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, after all, apart for them, there was only a handful of people who knew about it. But the Yunmeng Jiang sect disciple understood what the First Jade was implying immediately.

He knew all that already, he did not need Lan Xichen spelling it out for him. Then again, maybe he did. He was behaving immaturely and was letting himself be overcome by his fears.

There were still worries lingering but they were dissipating rapidly as he went through all that happened again, revisiting every moment he could have talked to his husband but did not. "I should probably take Brother Xichen's advise... Everyone is here with me; even if Lan Zhan rejected me, I hope they would protect me. They are not Madame Yu, nor is Lan Zhan. I really should talk to him and hear him out. I probably should have done so from the very beginning, but I can change that now."