Letting go of self-restraint 2 - All that is missing is a little one

Chapter 11

Lan Wangji was desperate, he was searching for Wei Ying already for almost an hour and he could still find no trace of his beloved whatsoever. He searched the whole hot spring resort which their inn was a part of, the small mountain behind the town, the town itself; nothing.

The Yunmeng Jiang disciple had disappeared, the Second Jade could not feel his spiritual energy anywhere near, he could also not find him via the bond they shared. Wei Ying was either masking his own presence while hiding or he was too far out of the older boy's reach.

Lan Wangji did not know which of the two possibilities scared him more: "If Wei Ying is simply hiding from me and concealing his presence, that would mean he does not want me to find him. I would not blame him, after the pitiful display of my inability to express myself; he must have been extremely hurt. I am sure it had completely shattered his already low self-confidence and self-esteem; he had run out crying!

However, if he is not hiding nearby, that would mean he went to find the beast by himself. With the state his body is in right now, it could be very dangerous for him to face it without anyone watching his back. And we do not even know exactly what kind of beast we are supposed to fight. If this is the case, I fear the worst. Now that I have exhausted other possibilities, I should probably first go check the monster's den before searching anywhere else, that is where Wei Ying would have gone should he decided to fight alone."

He immediately headed towards the forest, in the direction described by the town's chief. He was getting impatient, it would have been so much faster to fly than to run, but he was given instructions to find the beast's den on foot, he could not allow himself to miss it from up above the trees. If Wei Ying started the night hunt directly after running out of the inn, he would be already facing off with the enemy, every second counted.

He found the place easily enough, the monster must have been huge for broken trees and enormous scratch marks were clearly indicating the way. Possible worst case scenarios were running inside his head; exhausted and badly hurt Wei Ying was present in all of them without fail. Fortunately, he found the den soon enough and when he did, his blood froze, his breath got knocked out of his lungs and a desperate terrified scream was stuck in his throat. What he saw surpassed his wildest imagination.

His soulmate was on his knees in the middle of a pile of a bloody mess, leaning heavily on his sword as if it was the only thing keeping him in his more of less upright position; he was dangerously swaying, apparently trying to not fall down entirely. His robes were torn to sherds and soaked with blood, the Second Jade did not even want to guess how much of it was his own.

When he looked closer, he could tell that the monster was a hellhound. He knew about Wei Ying's fear of dogs and he could not even begin to imagine what it must have taken for the younger boy to engage in a fight with it instead of immediately running away. It must have taken all his courage and more.

He finally found his voice again and forced out the long detained scream: "Wei Ying!" There was no reaction from the Yunmeng Jiang disciple. Lan Wangji forced his legs to move as he slowly walked towards the former fight scene.

When he approached, he saw that his soulmate was breathing heavily, his eyes delated and unfocused; he could not see nor hear him coming closer. Lan Wangji did not pay any mind to the mess on the ground and cautiously closed in on the kneeling Yunmeng Jiang sect disciple. He was afraid that the younger boy was still in a combat mode and could attack if he thought the older boy was a threat.

His worries were well grounded; Wei Ying tried to swing his sword the second Lan Wangji stretched out his hand to put it on the Yunmeng Jiang disciple's shoulder, he wanted to shake it to make his beloved snap out of the state he was in right now. The Second Jade avoided the strike with ease, Wei Ying was clearly exhausted and could only barely lift his weapon. The effort seemed to have robbed him of the last of his forces and made him lose his balance; he was falling.

With another desperate "Wei Ying!", the Gusu Lan sect disciple darted forward to catch him. The older boy startled at how ice cold the body of his soulmate was, he was freezing to the touch and trembling violently, although his hand refused to let go of his sword. Lan Wangji's robes immediately started to get wet with blood, he only hoped that it was not Wei Ying's.

He had no option to check for injuries on the spot, so he only poured his own spiritual energy to replenish the Yunmeng Jiang sect disciple's depleted reserves and to ease the pain of any possible injury. He gritted his teeth, stood up with his husband in a secure hold, mounted his sword and flew at top speed back into the small town.

When they were back in the inn, he immediately stripped the younger boy naked and checked for injuries. He was relieved to find only light scratches and some bruises, no serious damage. He gave a big sigh and only then did he manage to calm himself somewhat. He fell onto his knees beside the bed where he had laid down his still unconscious charge, grabbed the other's hand and tenderly pressed it to his forehead, still feeding the younger boy his spiritual energy.

It was not long before Wei Ying's eyelids opened, he blinked several times until his eyes focused on his husband. Lan Wangji breathed out a relieved: "Wei Ying..."

He could not finish his sentence as he was nearly suffocated when the Yunmeng Jiang disciple threw himself at him and started sobbing and apologizing: "Lan Zhan, I am so sorry. I should have listened to you and stayed here. I should not have said all those things and put words into your mouth. I should have let you explain properly and not get mad and run away. That was really stupid of me. It was my fault too that you could not explain, it was me who deprived you of the opportunity to express yourself freely, I will never shut you out like that again. I only understood that you had cared for me very much when you had said to not go once I was facing that beast..."

He stopped abruptly and looked around, confused. "Are we back in the inn? Lan Zhan, you are the best! You came in time to save me, I thought I would die out there. Lan Zhan, I can never thank you enough..."

Lan Wangji managed to free one of his hands from the prison of the younger boy's embrace and patted his back reassuringly. With a stern voice, he gently scolded his beloved: "Wei Ying, no need for Thank you and Sorry between us."

He felt the body of the younger boy relax around him and heard a muffled half sob half laugh next to his ear: "Lan Zhan, you really are too good to me. I could not have done it without you."

Then Lan Wangji added to not cause any more misunderstandings: "Wei Ying killed the beast."

His mind was racing hundred miles a second to try and sort out his thoughts before saying what he needed the younger boy to understand: "It was all Wei Ying's merit, I only came when the fight was already over, I do not want him to think that he had to be rescued. Although he acted rashly, he still managed to finish the job successfully, to help the town's people and to take care of himself as well. If he could not handle himself, he would have surely ended up with more grieving injuries than a few scratches and bruises here and there. I need to let him know, otherwise he would still think negatively of himself.

Although I do not approve of him forcing himself when he was not feeling well, I must admit I am impressed. He really is a brilliant cultivator, nothing less. He really needs to value himself more... How do I get through to him? I do not want him to think I am only appeasing him; I really believe there are only few other cultivators of our generation who would have been able to achieve such a feat. How do I convince him?"

The older boy was startled from his inner contemplation by Wei Ying's unbelieving whisper: "Lan Zhan, do you really mean that?"

The Second Jade, although baffled by the fact that his soulmate had heard his thoughts once again after so long, replied immediately and with resolution: "Mn."

The younger boy drew himself a bit away from him but before Lan Wangji could miss his proximity, he was already rendered breathless with his lips sealed in a passionate kiss.