Chapted 35

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Tanna Carson

"Earth to Tanna, you still there?" A voice from besides me snaps me out of my thoughts, making me turn my head to the side to see Ella looking at me with confusion embedded into her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Mmmh?" I didn't really know what more to say without giving away everything that was going through my head at the moment.

"You're thinking about him aren't you?"

"El, I can't help it. It's like the second I let my mind wonder off, it runs to him, as much as I wish it didn't."

It's been just over two weeks since I arrived back in London and as soon as I was ready to speak about the mess that was going on in my head, I messaged Ella to come over.

My mind has just been a whirlwind of confusion, back and forth, constantly trying to figure some things out but with no luck.

"Do you think that everything between Luke and I was just some type of attraction, nothing more?" She sighs as she listens to the question before shaking her head.

"From what you've told me, I wouldn't say that, but Tan, denying what you're feeling isn't going to help you figure out anything." I nod my head tentatively, knowing that she was right. "When you think of him, what comes to mind?"

"It's like, the second I close my eyes, all I can see are his Hazel eyes looking back at me." I groan in frustration, dropping my head into my hands, hiding my face because I know what I'm about to tell her. "I like him El, a lot."

The words come out muffled as my head rests in my hands, but I know she heard every word I said when she shuffles closer.

"It hurts." I say softly, leaning into her embrace. "I- maybe I need to try move on?"

The words come out as more of a question even though I already know the answer to it, no matter how much I disagree on the inside.

I sniffle slightly, feeling my eyes water but I close them tightly, not letting any tears spill over.

"Tan, I can't tell you what's the best for you because only you know, but if you're still hurting so much, maybe you could think about trying." I sit still, listening to every single word she says, trying to make my mind come to a decision.

As I'm about to speak, my phone rings from my desk, making me stand up off the bed before walking over to grab it.

I look down, smiling at the sight of Alex's name flash across the screen on top of the photo of us.

"Alex is calling." I mutter softly, wiping my face incase any tears escaped before accepting the call as I sit back down next to Ella.

"Hey Al." As soon as I see his face pop up on the screen, I can feel my smile grow wider with genuine happiness.

"What's wrong?" His choice of words don't shock me, but as I turn to look at Ella's wide eyes I can't help but laugh.

"How'd he do that?" She asks in utter confusion, only making Alex chuckle on the other side of the phone as well.

"What can I say, I know my best friend backwards." The smile doesn't leave my face as I turn back to face the screen. "But Tan, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am." I say, my smile faltering slightly, but I lift it up quickly to hide my emotions as he looks at me skeptically. "I promise Al, I'm getting there. Now what's up?"

"Wel-"

"Alex man, have you spoken to Luke yet, I'm kinda worried." Reggie's voice sounds through the phone speaker, making me furrow my eyebrows at his words.

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