Roommates » [Luke Patterson]-Au

Chapter 41

Tanna Carson

As soon as Reggie pulls into the driveway and pushes the gear lever all the way forward into park, I can't help but sigh in relief.

Of course I'm completely anxious to walk inside and deal with everything, but after going back to London, it's only made it so much clearer to me that this is my new home.

"Tan?" I look up to see Ella, holding the car door open for me as she snaps me out of my thoughts. "You coming?"

The concerned expression on her face is easy to pick up so I just nod my head, smiling softly to reassure her.

I hop out of the back seat of the car, walking to the trunk before grabbing my suitcase from Reggie.

"Thanks Reg." He smiles widely at me before taking Ella's bag in his hand as he walks towards the front door.

"Reggie, I can take my suitcase." I giggle softly along with her as he brushes her off and continues toward the door. "It's going to be okay Tan."

I bite the inside of my cheeks while nodding slowly, hoping she would be right and everything would eventually be okay.

Ella and I walk up into the house after Reggie unlocks the front door, holding it open for the two of us to walk inside.

"Where do you wanna put your bag Elz?" I turn to face the two of them, watching her turn to me as she shrugs slightly.

I know the two of them weren't officially dating yet, even though they've been talking for a while, so I couldn't make them share a room if they weren't ready for that.

"Oh, you can leave it in my room. There's no problem at all El." She nods her head, thanking me before I speak up again. "Um, do you guys mind if I go find Alex? I can always go lat-"

"Go Tan, I'm sure Reggie will be happy to keep me company." I can't help but smile as she turns to see him nod excitedly. "See, all good."

I leave my suitcase at the front door along with my overnight bag, not wanting to waste any more time before I make my way upstairs.

As I walk towards Alex's room, I notice that his bedroom door was closed. Hoping he wasn't busy, I knock on the door softly, but loud enough for him to hear.

I pause for a second, waiting quietly  for him to respond. As soon as he mutters a soft 'come in' I breathe in deeply before opening the door slowly.

I push the door open completely and as soon as my eyes land on his figure in the middle of the bed, my heart tightens immensely.

His arms remain around his legs as he hugs himself tightly, not lifting his head at the sound of the door opening.

"Reg, I'm fine." I bite down on my bottom lip as I hear the uneasiness waver in his voice. As soon as I heard his breathing become more rapid and shallow, I moved quickly across the room over to the bed.

By the way he began to gasp like there wasn't enough oxygen around him in the air, I knew he wasn't okay and it worried me that he was sitting here alone.

Scared to make anything worse, I gently sit down on the bed in front of him, making it dip slightly but he doesn't move until I place my hand on his arm.

"Hey, hey, look at me Al." I speak softly, trying to get him to focus on me instead of what's rushing through his mind. He snaps his head up quickly, his eyes meeting mine and my heart constricts at the sadness pooling in his eyes. "Let's just breathe together yeah?"

I breathe in deeply, holding it for a bit before releasing it, repeating the same process as Alex copies my actions, not taking his eyes away from mine.

We sit there for a while until I could visibly see his body relax and his breathing returns to normal.

I was hesitant to move, not sure what was going on in his mind, but he lets go of his legs and wraps his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap.

I move my arms around his neck, wrapping my legs around his waist as I tuck my head into the crook of his neck.

I don't know how long the two of us just sat there, not saying anything but eventually I spoke softly, breaking into the silence.

"Al, can we speak, please." As he nods gently against my head, I lean back until I'm looking directly into his eyes, feeling the tears pool inside my own. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you or treat you the way I have been since I left for London."

"I-"

"I don't deserve you. No matter what I do, you are always the first person to support me and I never listened to you."

"Don't say that. We both said things, an argument is two sided." He tries to reassure me but I shake my head.

"I pushed you away because I thought I knew what was right but I can't ever do anything without you and I don't want to. Everything I do seems to leave me more and more confused and I pushed away the constant in my life. I'm sorry for saying the things I said, I didn't mean it, I appreciate you so much."

"You can't keep pushing everyone out Tan. The people around you know what's good for you, I know what's good for you. I know you've been struggling with Luke but there were so many ways to go about it and I wish you would have just come to me. I'm here for you all the time, no matter what."

"I don't deserve you." I shake my head rapidly as the tears run down my face.

"Woah okay, stop saying that." He says, holding my head in his hands, looking into my eyes. He slowly wipes away the tears with his thumb, but more tears fall straight after. "I need you in my life just as much as you need me okay?"

"We've never fought like that before Alex and it was because of me and my selfishness. Don't tell me it didn't scare you."

"Of course it scared me, I hated thinking about losing you, but hey, best friends fight, it's inevitable." He says, not moving his hands from the sides of my face. "It's a bit off from our sandwich fights, but I promise you, you're stuck with me."

I chuckle through the tears at his words, before moving my hands away from his neck to wipe my eyes.

"How about we go downstairs and watch some movies?" He smiles up at me and I nod down at him, my smile mirroring his.

"But can we do that later?" I ask, re-wrapping my arms around his neck before resting my head against  his shoulder. "Can we stay here for a while?"

He tightens his arms around my waist, resting his head against my own before chuckling lowly.

"Don't have to ask me twice."