Alive//H.S

God Only Knows

Wide awake while the world is sound asleepin'
Too afraid of what might show up while you're dreamin'
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody would believe you every day you try to pick up all the pieces
All the memories, they somehow never leave you

Lila Rose

I can't sleep. He's too perfect.

His lips were so soft, and he tasted of faint mint and cherries, his hands cradling any part of my body they could reach. I can't even think of anything else besides the way he tasted and the way he felt against my lips. He was so sweet, going slow but not too slow to the point I was bored, and I definitely wasn't bored.

My heart was leaping in my chest the whole time, knowing that this is exactly what I had yearned to happen for so long in our relationship, and it's finally here.

Ian was never that soft, or that caring towards me like Harry has been, and it's crazy to see the difference between the two. Harry is so so careful and kind with his hands, asking me if things are okay when Ian would touch whenever and whatever he wanted.

I look up from where I lay on my side with my head towards his chest, his breaths calm and even as he sleeps soundly, his perfect face so relaxed and I smile to myself knowing I've kissed those lips.

Nowhere in the back of my mind did I doubt what just happened, and what I felt about it. I know how I feel around Harry because it's not like I was with Ian. It's soft and kind and gentle, and so fucking cute to be around him and learn all about his little ways and things that make him smile every day. Ian never told me much about him before everything went down the drain, and while I comfortably lay beside Harry, I feel like I know more about him then I ever did Ian.

Harry took me under his wing when I was at a a very vulnerable state, not like I'm not out of that state yet, but it was worse before him. He let me cry into his arms and he let me join his tour without barely even knowing me. He made me feel comfortable when I needed someone by my side, and he hasnt even blinked twice at my stupid triggers and set backs in the process of me becomeing his, but it sthings like that that make me want to be his.

I dont know what we are, or even if we're anything at all, but all that matters to me is that hes there. Hes here with me now and he's not going to leave when he finds everything out. I cant handle to see him leave.

The kiss keeps playing in my mind like a record player, his tatse, his hands, his touch.

I kissed Harry Styles.

God, he's so hot.

The sound of his calm heartbeat soothed my rapid excitement from our kiss, and his hands were still on my back, where they were once tracing small circles.  He fell asleep only about an hour ago, one of my hands in his hair as I read a little, him just watching me soundly before falling into his deep sleep.

I look up at his lips, raising my hand up slowly, hoping to not awaken him, and I press the pad of my thumb between them, and his lips pucker at the touch, but his breaths stay calm.

I finally was able to fall asleep about an hour later, the sound of his heartbeat bringing me enough calmness to bring me to sleep.

I woke up pretty early in the morning still, sleeping in the day before messing with me a bit, but Harry hadn't changed positions at all. I cuddle more into his warmth as I slowly wake up, his hands pulling me closer in his sleep, pulling me back to sleep for a while before I was actually up, and craving coffee.

I saw a small cafe down the street from the hotel that I could walk to and get us some breakfast at. I just don't know how to repay Harry, so maybe food will do the job for the day.