Alive//H.S

Ready Or Not

Ready or not, here I come
Where you at? The night is young
In the crowd the music's loud, but I will find you
Ready or not, here I come
I like your face, do you like my song?

Harry

I resisted the urge to keep Lila under that tree for the rest of the day, and eventually, I had waved goodbye as she drove away in that car of hers, so perfect for her. I closed the door, leaning back against it as I smile to myself at the successful day we had together, nothing wrong and no more crying or panic episodes as far as I could tell. I sigh to myself as I feel the warm sun form the window crowd me in comfort, walking towards the kitchen. I pick up the book I had been 'reading' outside, even though all of my focus was on her.

I sigh to myself again, listening to the absence of laughter that fills my 'home' now that shes left. I saw her smile a lot today, more than I have since she came back into my life, and I think of it as a success. She had a beautiful real smile when she would let it show through, just like her dad's but a mix of her own personality into her as she would talk. She makes these jokes, and even though they are horrible, I can't help but laugh at them, even if they aren't funny. I jump a bit when my phone rings, Jeffs's number arriving up on my phone screen, and I answer even if I don't want to.

"Hey, how'd your day with Lila go?" He asks and I furrow my eyebrows the second he says that.

"How'd you know about that?" I say and I hear him sigh, squeezing my eyes shut as I await his accusation and lecture on how I should be more careful going out with her. I don't want to have to be careful around Lila, I want it to be as natural for us to go out as possible, but knowing our careers, that can happen.

"Harry..." He starts and I roll my eyes. This happens every fucking time I try and have a fun day or night out with another girl celebrity, but he never says anything when I and Ed or me and Mitch go out together.

"We went to a bookstore, Jeff. I just wanted to take her out somewhere," I say and he huffs.

"You know that you need to be careful, Harry. I don't care if you wanted to 'take her out somewhere' we don't need any more accusations of dating or anything. You have enough going on with Kendall and the Tour as it is," I look down at the counter as I twist on of my rings in my hands, sighing as I wish this didn't have to happen. I was having a really good day before this happened, and I don't want it to ruin it.

"Jeff...I'm going to be on tour with Lila for a year, I think it's okay to go to a bookstore with her in the meantime. Lila needs this, she needs to know that we can be comfortable around each other. It didn't cause any harm," I say and before he can say anything, I start again.

"I know it was stupid, and I'm sorry about that but...Lila was finally getting open with me. She was finally letting me inside, and I had told you how important that was for me. I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early like you said," I say, and I hang up, frustrated that I've let myself get angry over something so stupid like that.

Paparazzi have followed me around since I was 16. I usually don't care, knowing that it puts food on their families' tables to be able to get pictures of me, but even though I don't care, its stuff like this that really makes me mad.

I walk through the kitchen, hanging my head as I grab a sweater before slipping out into the darkness. I light one of the many tiki lanterns around the deck, letting the light and watching it as it reflects over the pool, watching the reflection as I let myself get loose in my own thoughts.

Today was the last day before I have to be him again.

I have to be the strong and famous Harry Styles every single one of my fans see, I have to be that tough rockstar with no baggage at all. I get to be who I am when I'm on stage, and I will forever be happy about that, but in public, I can't be all happy but I can't be all sad. I can't speak my opinions like I wish I could.

I look over towards the blanket I hadn't picked up that still lay under that tree, and I stand, going to walk towards it. It was getting colder by the second, but the second I laid down, I could still feel the warm sun shining down on the both of us, like no time had passed. I still hear her little laughs and I smell that plum scent that had me smiling to myself.

I'm completely crazy about this girl.

I know we could never be together, and even if we were, I would be too scared that we would ruin it too quickly. If she would let me, I would take things as slowly as possible with her, and not let her get too overwhelmed. I wouldn't tell anyone for as long as I could, not wanting anyone's opinion on something so special to us.

I've only spent three fucking weeks with this girl and I'm already head over heels for her.

The second I close my eyes under that tree, my phone buzzed.

Lila:

I just wanted to thank you for letting me come over today

Don't be nervous about the release Harry, everything is going to be perfect.

I'll see you tomorrow

I smile down at my phone and text her a goodnight back before I let myself go to bed inside, blowing out the flames of the lantern before going back inside, grabbing the book that will forever remind me of her and letting myself unwind.