How do you stop feeling numb?
After the tragic death of her famous father, Lila Sinclair must face two different obstacles:
An abusive Ex boyfriend that broke what was left of her heart
And a curly headed singer, who is keen on making Lila feel Ali...
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Lila
"I'm gonna get sick"
I said in a panicked whisper as Stevie sighed, watching me curl my hair as she sat at the end of my bed, my hand pressed into my stomach as my shoulders were crouched over.
"You're not gonna get sick, Tulip," Stevie mumbled, me standing up as the time to leave came closer and closer.
Before Harry had left a couple of nights ago, he had made sure to set a date for me to come with him to the studio for the final touches and for me to see the setlist and all that stuff. Harry also assured me that he would never make fun of my accent like his bandmates used to.
And I just...
Fucking melted.
Now, ten minutes before I had to get into my car and drive to a strange studio with an oddly comforting man with his strange friends and crew and his scary beautiful everything- and now I'm panicked. Stevie has been very supportive through this whole thing, and even helped me choose an outfit that she and I both like. I'm wearing a looser shirt, it fitted around the waist and a pair of dark jeans and some boots.
Growing up, my dad dressed me in all pink and flannel. On the farm, we never really wore anything but denim and tee shirt,(except for the thousand of sundresses Stevie would dress me in) but when we moved to California when I was 17, those things kinda changed I guess. I knew my grandparents were still around, but I've never met them besides frown when I was a baby. I don't know why, but I guess it was my dads decision.
I didn't sleep a wink last night, which isn't anything new at all. It wasn't a nightmare night, so that makes up for it. I made sure to make my makeup really bright today so no one could see the darkness under them. I also got Stevie, Clara and Gavin some coffee early this morning, so that was good.
I've gained some new nervous habits, and I hate all of them. I've already had habit of bruising my hands, or scratching them intensely, which I have gotten worse and worse at. I've also started to tug with my fingers on my lip, biting the inside until it bleeds, ignoring the pain I deserve.
Stevie and Clara just pull my hands away from each other, but obviously Harry can't do that. Which scared me a little. I know he won't say anything about it, and I'm FULLY okay with that. Good god that would be so fucking embarrassing, and I would honestly cry on the spot. Anyway, Harry probably won't care. I think. I dunno. I'm stressed.
"Take a deep breath. It's okay to be nervous, Tulip. Nothings going to happen," Stevie smiles
"What do I do if he asks about-,"
"Tulip, you're going to be fine. Have a good time okay?" She soothes as she hugged me, handing me my backpack as I grabbed my keys, giving her a peck on the cheek as I walked out the door.
