𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔

Chapter |29| Not My Girlfriend

K I A R A ' S P.O.V

Three hundred, three hundred and one, three hundred and two, three hundred and three...

I had been in this room for a week. My phone is somehow, turned off and completely ignored, I've haven't showered in what feels like forever and my heart hurts.

I've been counting the rain drops. The small tiny droplets that remind me of tears, something I've shed far too much of.

After leaving the room, I found Tessa and we got a taxi home. She didn't press me about what happened, although I'm pretty sure she could guess from my sex crazed hair and the fact that nearly everyone heard my cries of pleasure.

As soon as I got home, I went straight up to my room, locked the door and cried. I cried because I had finally let go of Tristan in my heart and it hurt, more than anything in the world because this time, it was me who broke his heart.

I couldn't bare to look at anyone, or speak. I refused to leave, even after my dad threatened to remove the door. The next morning, he did just that.

Surprisingly my mum didn't protest, she let him do it and then ran in the moment it was gone. I knew she had an idea of what had happened, but she didn't speak a word until my dad finally left.

We needed some girl talk, my mum said.

I merely said one word, Tristan. She wasn't even surprised, instead she cradled me to her chest and let me cry. Tristan had tried to come in but my mum stopped him before he could even see how pathetic and disgusting I looked.

I couldn't bare to face him, I felt horrible.

My dad and brothers still asked me everyday what had happened, I gave them the same answer. It was my fault.

Only a few days ago did I find the strength and courage to tell my mum what had happened. She didn't judge, nor did she speak, but I could feel her disappointment.

I guess this was why dad wanted to keep me away from boys, and for once, I wished I had listened.

There was a knock on the door, I ignored it per usual, but it was still pushed open. I could smell fresh cinnamon pancakes as my mum walked in, a tray of food in her hands.

"Honey, you have to eat." I continued to stare at the window, counting the rain drops that trickled down the glass. "This is not good for you. You're a teenage girl, you should be out having fun!" Her peppy tone did nothing to brighten my dark mood.

I felt trapped, lost and broken. For once, I couldn't see a way out.

"Mum, please leave." My voice was void of any emotion of any kind.

"You didn't eat at all last night and only had some grapes for breakfast. That's not healthy at all honey. You're going to make yourself ill."

"What's the point in eating? Or living really? All there is in this world is pain and suffering. I can't do anything without hurting another." I let myself break at the end, I was struggling to keep all the pain and torment inside.

"That's not true. You have family and friends who are all here for you. There's even one right here,"

"Mum, please take Tessa and leave I don't want..."