The Smirking Jerk (Blake's POV)

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I rushed down the stairs away from Lexi.

I just had to survive till the end of the day and then I could hide in my room and feel sorry for myself.

I just had to go through the motion and not think about my hurt feelings. I had years of practice. I had no idea what it suddenly felt so much worse than it ever had.

I tried to put on the mask again and ignore my feelings, but I could feel the pretence cracking with each step I took.

I joked with Tyler when I saw him and took care of his problem with the principal.

I went to class and talked with the guys. I ignored Lexi trying to talk to me, the way she had ignored me for years.

I also ignored the fact that Lexi kept looking my way during class. What did she want now? Scream at me some more? Blame me for her problems when it wasn't my fault?

Her punching bag was taking a day off. She kept saying she wanted to get rid of me. That was what I was giving her.

Another hour passed, another class done. I kept going through the motions.

I went to train during my lunch period.

And I unfortunately came across Stacey who was clearly way too happy to tell me that she had gotten Lexi fired.

The mask shattered, I lost it and yelled at her. Why was she trying to meddle in my life and Lexi's when she had nothing to do with it? What was she trying to accomplish? Did she think I would like that? That anyone would like that? That anyone would see her doing this and think that was the kind of person, the kind of behaviour they wanted around in their lives?

I made her cry. I felt like a jerk, but I also felt like she deserved it, and well, I just generally felt like shit.

Would this day ever end?

Tyler texted me a couple of times, but I ignored it. I didn't want him to apologize for his sister. He had more faith in our relationship than I did and I didn't need that right now.

Finally, the day was over and I drove back home.

I sat in the kitchen and talked with Anita while she made dinner.

I ate with my family and made small talk, feeling like a robot just following commands. I could see my parents and Anita exchanging glances, clearly worried about my behaviour. That made me feel bad again.

I felt empty. I hated feeling this way again. I hated that the fact things had been good lately was because of Lexi and now that she had hurt me again, I was back to square one.

Loving Lexi Grayson shouldn't hurt this much. Loving anyone should never hurt this much.

After dinner, when I was back in my room, on a whim, I decided to call my favourite cousin. I kind of regretted it the second she answered and said, "Aaaaaaaaaah, piss off you tosser. Did you look at the time? Have you completely forgotten about time zones? Fuuuuuck. Serves me right to not put my phone on silence before going to bed. I hate you."

Oops. I had for a second completely forgotten about the concept of time zones. I really needed to get my head out of my ass.

"Hiiiiii," I said sheepishly.

"No," she just barked back.

"I just wanted to talk," I replied.

Evelyn gave me the mother of all sighs. "So basically you wanted to vent. You're the oldest, you should be the voice of reason."