"You know, Toccata and Fugue in D minor by J.S. Bach, do you think he planned for it to be scary?" Josh asked me, his eyes fixed on the blue of the sky he was painting.
"I think he was trying to evoke a storm," I frowned, patting Miss Puss on the head absentmindedly, trying to keep her away from the paint. That was just plans to have her walk in it and then stain everything and have Josh yell at me. And at the same time, I kept painting the grass because if I stopped for too long Josh would yell at me too.
In my head I wasn't having this conversation though. I was thinking about the fact that I had almost kissed Lexi.
That was what I had been doing all day. I woke up and thought about almost kissing Lexi. I brushed my teeth thinking about almost kissing Lexi. Went on with my day, and tried to act normal all the while knowing I had almost kissed Lexi.
She'd been tipsy so it didn't count.
But still... I had almost kissed her.
"Or maybe he just started thinking one night about his girlfriend. Stripping. Because if you listen closely, you can kinda see a chick stripping to it," Josh trailed thoughtfully.
How did he come up with stuff like that?
I shook my head, but then got up, putting my brush over the painting can, taking Miss Puss in my hands and then I walked to his stereo, setting the cat beside it. I looked through Josh infinite choice of music, and then found what I was looking for and put the Toccata and Fugue in D minor on.
"And now on our main stage please put your hands together for... Bambi and Cryyyystaaaaaaaaaaal," I announced as the music started to play, laughing
"As they start feeding on your flesh you'll be thinking, damn, this is a pretty good stripper song," Josh continued, voice like an announcer in a circus.
"When did the strippers become zombies? And come on, with you everything is a good stripping song," I snorted and then took my brush back and started to paint more green on the wall.
"Not true! Want to know what's not a good stripping song? Pour Some Sugar on Me. Now, want to know why?"
"Even if I said no, I'm sure you'll tell me anyway," I answered, sighing.
"Well I'm glad you asked, you know in movies, when the girl dances to Pour Some Sugar on Me, it's always in slow motion! Alright so now picture this, you got your girl. She's stripping, slowly, she's trying to give the slow mo illusion, but then she pours the sugar on her and OH NO! IT'S NOT SLOW MO! Fucks up all the act, she starts crying, everybody is upset and then you're stuck listening to some weird true crime show while she cuddles on you and says 'Ain't that just nicer?' No! Not, it's not. It's just disturbing how much she likes that shit! Why in hell would that be nicer than a striptease! How are the two things related? Okay if it was Rosie O'Donnell doing the striptease, I'll give you that much, maybe the true crime show would be a little more appealing, but otherwise, no thanks. Actually, I'm saying that, but scratch that, Rosie O'Donnell stripping would be better. I'm not saying I'd objectify her, she's always angry, so I don't see how she'd make it work. It might be like that dude dancing to All the Single Ladies on YouTube in a leotard showing his nuts when doing too much legs moves. That might feel like that. But it does make you wonder... how the hell do you think she strips? Is their hip movement? Chest kicks? Does she roll the shirt over her head after taking it off?"
"That's the kind of thing you wonder? How Rosie O'Donnell strips?" I burst laughing.
"Give it to me dude? Don't you wonder if she could work the pole?" Josh answered, holding his hands high beside him.
YOU ARE READING
The Smirking Jerk (Blake's POV)
Teen Fiction"I'm in love with you." How many times would I have to think about this, how many times, before she could hear it, feel it, see it in my eyes? "I'm in love with you." How could I make her see without telling her, without scaring her off... without l...
