good things fall apart • sirius black

It's a mess

Remus was shaking.

The words had left his mouth and Lily had said he'd feel better once they knew, but he didn't. In fact, he felt worse. There was more pressure this time, for Lily had just figured it out, but now he actually had to say it. And that was terrifying.

He couldn't breathe and the world was spinning. It was complete anxiety. Overwhelming and sickening anxiety. He was drowning in it, and his vision went slightly blurry - the only thing he could focus on were their blank faces.

Remus was sure that if he knew what a panic attack felt like, it would be this.

They were all crowded in Dumbledore's office, the headmaster having wanted to be there when he told them, to explain the importance of keeping Remus' secret just that. A secret. Like the lanky boy, he too was waiting for some form of reaction, but one didn't come. Silence just fell around the room in a thick blanket, absorbing even the quietest of sounds.

It was their shocked faces, the utter bewilderment, that panicked Remus. None of them said anything and he was just waiting for the worst. He was convinced they were all going to cast him aside. Scream profanities at him for putting them in danger. Yet, all of them were deathly silent. And that was worse than them screaming.

Ellie was the first to speak out into the quiet, Remus' words finally being computed and in a matter of moments, she'd flung her arms around his neck.

"That's absolutely brilliant!" She exclaimed, rendering everyone even more speechless.

To Ellie, any magical creature was fascinating and even though she knew Remus wasn't just a creature, it was still completely exciting to her. She was slightly put out he'd never told her before, for she had a hundred and one questions to ask him. She was gobsmacked she'd been so lucky to make friends with a werewolf. And an amazing example of one at that.

Never had Dumbledore, in his very long life, seen anyone react like that to finding out someone was a werewolf. Instead of recoiling away and being frightened, the beautiful girl had practically jumped into her friend's arms. The headmaster didn't usually find himself lost for words, but this was a very peculiar situation indeed.

Remus had frozen as Ellie hugged him, even more fear seeping its way into his mind. He had so many questions about her reaction and why she wasn't disgusted or angry about him not telling them. Her saying it was great was definitely not what he'd expected, and he worried that she didn't quite understand him.

"It's not a good thing Cubby. I'm dangerous and I could hurt any one of you. I'm telling you so you can keep yourselves safe. And I understand if you don't want to be friends with me anymore because of it." Pushing Ellie off of him, Remus spoke firmly, despite the shake in his voice.

"Don't be ridiculous!" The beautiful girl scoffed, "We know who you are Remus. You're not just a werewolf, you're you with lycanthropy. But that doesn't make you any less human. Why would I stop being friends with you over something like this? I didn't stop being friends with Jamie when he got the flu that time, and he spread it to me after as well!" Ellie sounded more outraged by that, than she did Remus being a werewolf, and Dumbledore's laughter turned all the friends' heads.

However, he could tell just how frustrated Remus was that Ellie didn't seem to be listening properly.

"You cannot force people away from you, Remus. I think Ellie is very much adamant about keeping your relationship the same. This is a good thing." The headmaster said calmly, a small smile on his lips as he watched Ellie nod eagerly in agreement.