good things fall apart • sirius black

Family

Saying goodbye was always the hardest thing for the Marauders. Ellie and James had it easy, for they were neighbours and inevitably would see each other every day, but Remus was off to his home on the Welsh border; Peter was preparing to be smothered by his mother's love; and Sirius...

Sirius was just quiet.

Going home would forever, and always, be the worst part of Sirius Black's year. He despised every part of 12 Grimmauld Place and everything that came along with it.

Yet, every time he tried - every time he tried to go back, a tiny part of him hoping things may be different. He thought himself rather pathetic for believing in this fantasy, and almost each time Walburga and Orion proved him wrong, usually ending up with an impromptu visit to the Potter's. But he still tried. He tried for his family, who didn't deserve his efforts. He tried for his own sanity, that maybe one day he'd be told that he was loved. He tried for Regulus, praying his brother wouldn't end up like their parents.

But he also went because they requested him and not following their orders would just come with punishment.

This would be the fifth Christmas as a blood traitor, and Sirius had no energy to fight the title he'd been given any longer. All the rebelling and purposeful acts of defiance boiled down to one thing... Attention. For when your family write you off as worthless, even bad attention, is attention all the same.

The group waved to Mrs. Pettigrew as the smallest Marauder ran to join her on Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

Peter was always the first one to go. He said it was because there was always busy traffic back to his home, but they all knew his mother was just not comfortable in the wizarding world. As quickly as Peter was off the train, he was whisked back into Muggle life, his father being the only source of magic he saw in the holidays. Mrs. Pettigrew had only just started being comfortable with the owls that would arrive weekly with different mail from his friends, but Peter saw that as a step in the right direction.

Hope and Lyall Lupin welcomed their son with loving embraces and kisses, which embarrassed Remus so much he had to step away from his mother at one point. There was not one time the Lupins didn't worry whilst Remus was away, and even with him half-way across the country they'd stay up late on full moons in case an incident occurred.

Before the family left however, Ellie ran after the lanky boy, tackling him in one last bear hug. A full moon was due Christmas Eve and she wished him a swift recovery so he could enjoy the next day to the fullest. Rather flushed at Ellie's display of affection in front of his parents, Remus thanked the beautiful girl before quickly ushering his parents off, knowing not to give Hope the opportunity to embarrass him further. He saw the questions hanging on his mother's lips, but she didn't get to ask them before her son shut her down.

    "A friend mum. Ellie always will be just a friend. I've told you this."

That didn't stop Hope's teasing, nor Lyall's questions (that were asked every time he came home) about why the girl was friends with the group of boys in the first place, to which Remus never had an answer to.

Running his hands through his hair, Sirius scanned the platform as if awaiting an attack. He hadn't seen Regulus get off the train, and Walburga wasn't a difficult woman to miss, so thoughts of her finally abandoning him flooded his brain. Maybe this was it? She's finally done with me. His worrying never went unnoticed when it was time to go home, James and Ellie staying with Sirius for as long as possible.

If the pair had it their way, Sirius would never return to the hell hole he had to call home, but they knew it was ultimately down to him - all they could do was offer him a place if he wanted it.