good things fall apart • sirius black

We're bad for each other

The boys had taken and passed their apparition tests in the time that Ellie hadn't been at Hogwarts, it made things so much more convenient now, but she didn't appreciate having her arm grabbed tightly by Remus. Marlene wasn't coming with them, she'd go home, so she tried to say goodbye, but the beautiful girl wouldn't look her in the eye - Ellie wanted this all over with as soon as possible.

Once their feet landed on the white gravel outside of the Potter House, she tore her arm out of Remus' hold, snatched her trunk off Sirius, and immediately struck off in the direction of her home, making a beeline for the path through the forest. Ellie couldn't face anyone right now. As the minutes went by, she felt herself slowly losing more of her hold on her emotions, and if pushed anymore, she feared she might say something she'd come to regret forever, for there had never been an anger like the one she felt now. How could no one see that tracking her down as they had, like a fox in a hunt, was wrong? How could they not understand that she needed some space? She had told them enough times by now.

"Oi!" Shouted Sirius as she stalked off, but Ellie wouldn't pander to his every call, especially if that's how he was going to bark at her.

She kept her stomps even and braced herself when she heard him running up behind her. Sirius set his hand on her shoulder, but Ellie flinched away, coming to a halt and whirling round on the spot. I guess I will have to tell him one more time.

"You told them I hit you." Sirius accused with an ugly scowl, "You let them believe I'd do that."

"I never." Ellie replied evenly, taking a step away.

"Then why did they all think I would?"

"Maybe because you stormed their flat like maniacs."

Perhaps some regret was starting to creep into Sirius' conscience because his scowl melted and his tone became less argumentative. It was like he was pleading for her to understand now, but Ellie wouldn't listen to him if he wasn't going to listen to her.

"What else were we gonna do? London is the most dangerous place to be right-"

"Just wait." She interrupted, "Wait for me to come home when I was ready to process what had happened here, I told you not to follow me. This whole attitude you all have, sending Marlene out to track me down and banging on about the Order like I'm a villain if I don't join, that's what's suffocating. You give me no room to breathe, no room live, no room to grieve."

They were no longer screaming at each other, that was one positive.

"You'd forgotten about the full moon, were potentially going to transform tonight in a tiny flat full of four other people, Cubby." Remus called as he made his way over too, "We got to you at just the right time."

"Okay, that one's on me, I made a bad decision, but that doesn't mean you get to come storming into my life like you have some divine authority." What could've happened tonight was something that Ellie was going to have to make peace with on her own. She turned her back on them both and continued towards the forest, "Stop restricting me."

Maybe Sirius would follow her. Maybe Ellie didn't have the energy to stop and check again. She'd learnt a long time ago that her boyfriend did as he pleased anyway, no matter how infuriating. That word, boyfriend, it had to be cursed. Ever since that word, things had only seemed to spiral out of control between her and Sirius, but she knew that she didn't want to take it back. It was him or it was no one. Then maybe it's supposed to be no one. Ellie had thought it before, not everyone is made for love. But then, she did love him, she loved him even when she hated him, because the two were one in the same. Adoration and hatred, everyone walked a thin line between the two, Ellie and Sirius perhaps just more vicariously than others.