good things fall apart • sirius black

Him or her?

    "What did you do whilst we were gone, Cubs? Sleep, I hope." James asked as the Marauders all crashed in their dorm the day after the full moon.

Sirius had healed as he slept between returning and breakfast, waking up with next to no sign of injury at all. Besides the slashed scars across his chest, of course. He didn't mind, being okay was the main thing, and they were all just glad it had been that and not a bite, but Remus was furious with himself. Whilst he knew it could've been much worse, and Sirius was constantly telling him he was okay, the guilt of actually hurting one of his friends was too much.

He had no idea what had been up with him last night. When the boys had told him just how much of a handful Moony had been, he was surprised he felt as well as he did when he woke up in the Hospital Wing this morning. Perhaps it was the fact that the Werewolf had gotten a lot of pent-up frustration out which had left him more relaxed, or perhaps it was this new feeling in him that had stirred. Besides the anger with himself for hurting Sirius, there was also this other overwhelming feeling that he couldn't shake - some form of desperation. But for what, he didn't know.

Remus never remembered the nights of the full moons, they were just foggy memories of pain and suffering. But this time, there was this very clear image that in the back of his mind, one he wasn't sure was connected to that desperation or not.

Ellie Gryffin. Or more, her absence during the night.

Cubby had always been Moony's favourite, and Remus really loved her now, he knew that. But some part of him had missed her more than he expected last night. The Werewolf had lashed out in her absence and Remus woke up feeling more alone than he used to when he spent full moons without anyone, and now, as she lay in his bed with him, he never wanted to let her go. She was tucked into his side, one of her legs hooked around his as she curled the hair at the nape of his neck around her finger, and he felt like the luckiest person on the planet. The peace he felt with her was unlike any other, and he could completely understand why Regulus kissed her back in their fourth year, why Sirius wanted her close all the time despite having Flora as his girlfriend.

And that was another thing he was baffled by, what his feelings for Sirius were doing. He still thought he fancied the handsome boy. He certainly loved him, there was no questioning that, but those feelings no longer compared to how he felt for Ellie. Something that had come about overnight.

With his feelings flipping around so quickly, Remus was very much lost, mind swirling constantly. He was sure that his levels of hormones were all over the place. But he'd also never felt so comfortable in himself, even if he was questioning whether his crush was ever going to settle on just one of them.

    "A little." Ellie shrugged in reply to James, "I sorted out my Charms project with Jessica instead. We're gonna work together and everything is fine."

    "It is?" Remus cut in, absentmindedly stroking his thumb back and forth across her cheek.

    "Yeah, we chatted and made amends I s'pose."

    "Je suis perdu...What do you mean 'you made amends?' The bitch tried to slap me. She did slap you instead." Sirius roared suddenly, and Remus found himself scowling at the handsome boy when he made Ellie untangle herself from him to sit up.

    "Only 'cause she was upset you cheated on her." She fired back.

And just like that, the pair were arguing as they usually were these days.

    "I didn't mean to! It was all a miss understanding, you know that." Sirius protested loudly, and Remus considered throwing a pillow at him from across the room at the sight of Ellie's crumpled brow.