good things fall apart • sirius black

I love you

Ellie woke to a cold draft and creaking. Her bed was sticking in her in all the wrong places, like shards of glass or splintering wood. Or perhaps that was just the pain potions wearing off. But either way, she wasn't in a proper bed, no, and as her eyes flickered open she was greeted with an unfamiliar ceiling. It looked as if it might cave on her any second, wooden support beams rotten and odd specs of sky visible which lit up the dark like stars. I'm lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack.

And she wasn't alone either.

Right by the side of her head was a big ball of black fur, presumably Padfoot with his head rested over her left shoulder, but something was lying on her stomach too.

It took Ellie all of two seconds to realise that she couldn't move, not because she'd been pinned down, but because as soon as she moved her head ever so slightly, she was in agony everywhere. Yet at the same time, all seemed to be numb too. She could only register that Padfoot had his head resting on her left shoulder because she could see his fur in her peripheral vision, but otherwise she was frozen, staring at the ceiling as she may as well have been set alight. This pain was worse than waking up yesterday with hundreds of new scars, this was a sickening ache in her bones, not just her skin.

Shutting her eyes to combat the tears that spilled when she forced herself to move her arms, Ellie's hands found a head of curls lying on her stomach, someone's cheeks, someone's nose, someone's lips which parted under the pad of her thumb. And, of course, that someone could only be one person. Moony.

"I-" She stuttered out, hoping that Padfoot was awake, because with the way he didn't move under her touch, Remus couldn't be. "Pads... I can't move." The scruffy black dog let out a low whine, his head remaining rested carefully across her left shoulder, "Why can't I-" Ellie didn't know why she began to sob, but her breathes went shallow too, "Why can't I move, Padfoot?"

When Sirius transformed back, he was knelt at her side, and she could feel him shaking through his hands pressed on her left shoulder. All Ellie wanted to do was see his face, but she couldn't move her neck, not with the shooting pains everywhere. It somewhat felt like Sirius had a knife he was twisting into her collarbone, like he was pressing all of his weight into his hands and pinning her to the floor, but with the way he was shaking, she knew that couldn't be possible.

"We've been here before. We shouldn't be here again." He mumbled absently, "Together in pools of blood like this."

"Blood?" Ellie spluttered.

"They're coming..." He cooed, "Everything's gonna be fine. They're coming."

"Moony..." Remus hadn't stirred under her touch and a tight feeling clenched itself around Ellie's throat, her fingers burying in his curls, "Is he- awake? What-"

"They're coming..." Sirius repeated, moving into view for the first time, but his face was hardly recognisable behind smears of crimson, "You're alright, I'm gonna make sure of it... I'll fix it. I won't- I won't ruin this too."

A weak smile found its way to Ellie's lips, one of her hands itching to reach up and wipe his face clean.

"You're so beautiful." She hummed, eyes almost rolling back in her head with another wave of shooting pain that made her want to vomit, "So beautiful to me."

"No." Sirius shook his head back and forth as his own tears started to fall, "They're coming and it's all gonna be alright. Don't- don't start goodbyes. I hate goodbyes."

But Ellie didn't listen. She didn't know it, her memories had been stolen from her, but she'd thought she was going to die the night before with that pain, with everything that happened to her then, but she hadn't. Adelaide had never appeared at her side asking her to come home, even if Ellie couldn't have imagined any pain worse.