good things fall apart • sirius black

Suffocated

Rab,
Don't think all is helpless now that I've been pulled out of school, I'm still scheming and we'll find a way to save you. I promise.

That was all Ellie could send in a letter back to Beauxbatons for now, because she was being watched like a prisoner in her own home otherwise. Cyrus had her eating every meal with him in the dining room and she wasn't allowed to spend any time shut in her room or the Orangery; Euphemia kept her as bust as possible with chores, helping her cook and set up for Order meetings; and Fleamont would corner her every available minute of the day he had for conversations that were unnecessarily long. She had none her own space at all, and if she argued about it they'd simply stand there, take her shouting, and never bat an eyelid. It was infuriating and Ellie didn't know what she'd done to deserve this treatment.

They'd always been loving and gentle with her and James, always given them the freedom to do as they pleased, and now all of a sudden the beautiful girl felt like she was being punished for something that wasn't her fault. She didn't choose to remain near unconscious in that cave last full moon, and no one once had questioned why the transformation had been so horrific, was always so horrific. None of it was helping her make peace with being a werewolf.

Ellie tried her hardest to fight, she tried her hardest to fight for her freedom as she knew Lamar would want her too, but she was so tired and nothing she did came to any result she wanted. So she endured it instead, put on a brave face and pretended everything was okay. It only had to be until the summer when the boys came home.

Or at least that was what she thought.

Her favourite time of year arrived, James and Sirius came home with the rest of their friends in tow, and things looked set to get so much better. It was so nice to have company again, especially after not seeing some of them for so long, and the reunion was a rather emotional one. Lily had burst into happy tears, and Ellie had even caught Peter sniffling, but secretly, it had been Remus she'd been dying to see again. The next full moon there was, they were going to do it together, for the beautiful girl had endured another alone whilst she'd been back home and it hadn't gotten any better.

The world seemed righted again, Ellie could stop moping about being dragged away from her new friends at Beauxbatons because she had a distraction, and she was back with those she called family. Sirius protested if one of the adults tried to drag her away for whatever reason, which meant she'd been let off the hook for now, and once all the greetings were over with, they all settled in a sort-of circle to bring Ellie up to date with things.

That was when it all tumbled back downhill.

James did most of the talking of course, and the beautiful girl didn't mind hearing about everything she'd missed out on at Hogwarts, she'd had to accept that, but it seemed that all there was to talk about was the Order of the Phoenix. Lily scolded him for discussing secret matters, and when Peter started weighing in, Ellie quickly realised that he'd been allowed in even though he didn't become of age until July. Things were escalating, that much was clear, so it was no wonder the Order were inducting as may people in, especially with how often people were getting injured during 'missions'.

As ever, it was the last thing Ellie wanted to be talking about. She was eager to tell them about the friends she'd made in France and the aspirations she'd started setting for herself, but whenever she opened her mouth, she was cut off.  

"Anyway, when are you gonna join, Cubs?" James demanded of her eventually, and Ellie froze up, "We need all the help we can get and Cyrus says that we might be allowed out on missions of our own soon, and we all know how talented you are."

"I've not really thought about it." She mumbled, unsure of how to tell them that she'd definitely decided it was a no for the Order from her, "I've been doing loads of other stuff at Beauxbatons, art again, you know? With these really amazing people too, and-"