My Crown

Chapter 27

I had a very random dream last night.

I was in college. A good one too. While I was working on an assignment, my phone rang and it was mama. She was calling to ask me if my boyfriend and I were still coming home for the weekend. She then went on to ask me a dozen questions about what he likes, any allergies, how we're getting there. Fussing over me.
You could tell we were close though, it was like talking to a friend.
Then I asked her to make sure dad was on his best behaviour and she laughed; as if I had asked her to give me a pegasus unicorn.

I was smiling when she finally hung up and decided I was done for the day.
Then I was in a small dorm room when someone knocks on my door. Excited, I put my laptop on the small desk next to my bed, and rush to open the door.

Gold eyes meet mine before a set of soft lips crash on my own.

I woke up befuddled. I never have dreams. Ever. Well, except for dirty ones. But who doesn't have those?
But even back when I did have clean dreams, it was never like that.
What was that?

I was a regular college girl, with sweet overbearing parents and a boyfriend.

"Are you okay?"
I look over to see the gold eyes from my dream. Did I really dream Luciano was my boyfriend?
What has gotten into me?
Is he wearing me down with his daily flirting?
Do I have feelings for him?

"Cara?"
He has taken to calling me that. A term of endearment.

I can see the worry in his features and feel the need to assuage him.

"Strange dream." I offer with an unconvincing smile.
"What was it about?"

I can't tell him that.

"Cara?"

I should probably say something before he...
Too late.
He's already walking towards me.

Whoever is in charge of these chains is the absolute worst.

"Talk to me." His voice is softer than usual and I resist the urge to look at him.
"I dreamt of a different life." Is the best I can come up with.

"I do that too." I finally allow myself to look at him. He sits with his back against the wall looking into space. More like the mirror.
"I dream of going back home. Back to the way things were." He continues with that soft tone of his.
"Back to Ophelia?"

His look is hurt and confusion, but it is enough for me.

"You can't hold my past against me."
"How can I not when you are living in it?"

He doesn't understand. He never will.

"You should go back." I tell him before lying back down on the hard cement. Looking away.

It is quiet for a minute before I hear him walk back to his bed.

Stronzo.

¤

"Ophelia was amazing. She was beautiful and kind with just a little fire in her. I really did love her. I do love her."

Why is he telling me this?

We have been stewing in the awkward silence for two feedings and that is the first thing he says? Really?

Men are idiots.

"I believe there is a reason for everything. Maybe Ophelia came into my life when she did to teach me how to love."

We are interrupted by food sliding in. The same bland mush and the huge water glasses.
Luciano stands to get our food for us, but I do not look at him when he sets my food in front of me.

Instead, I look at my reflection in the mirror and try not to cringe. When did my skin get so sickly pale?
And my hair...
I look awful.

"Just maybe, we were put in here for a reason too." What? I turn to find those golden orbs staring right at me with an emotion I have never seen in them before.
In fact, right now, they remind me of Zozo's.

"Maybe I was meant to meet you here. Like this. If we met in the outside world, I'd probably think you were beautiful, but never approach you. Maybe you would be biased against Italian men because of your ex."

Is he saying what I think he is saying?

"I am glad Ophelia taught me how to love. Because now I know I love you. And I probably won't screw things up with you half as much as I did with Ophelia. I can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I can treat you like a princess."

I am speechless. Is this happening?

"I love you, cara."

"How can you know that for sure? I am the only person you have seen in years. How can you be sure that it is me you love? Maybe it's like Stockholm Syndrome or something like that. Maybe we only exist inside of this hellhole. I mean, you said it yourself, you wouldn't approach me if we met outside."

"I know it's real."

"How?"

He pauses, still staring at me.

"I can't explain it. I just feel it. I feel it every time I look at you."

Maybe you're just horny.

I don't say it out loud, of course, but the man has been in here alone for three years.

"You may not be ready to say it. You may not even be ready to admit it to yourself, but don't doubt my feelings for you. I don't."

He doesn't.

I cannot imagine that. Loving someone like that. Without doubt. How would that feel?

What am I thinking? He doesn't even know me.
Not really.

He doesn't know.

"Would you still love me if you knew everything?"

He stops walking and turns around to face me.
This is it.

"Yes."

No, you wouldn't.

"There is nothing you can say that would make me love you any less."

I sit absorbing that as he walks back to his bed and lies down.

It is still not fair that he gets a mattress and I don't.

I remember when he tried to move it but it wouldn't budge. He tried for so long. It was sweet of him.

Damn.

There is so much to think about.

But maybe instead of always overthinking things, I should be more like Luciano.

Maybe I should follow my heart.

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What do you guys think?

Should she forget the past?

Should she follow her heart?