Did I ever stand a chance? - DM -

|twenty four|

A/N- Surprise shawty! I was not feeling my bio hmwrk last night so did this instead ;) I can already see the fucking comments. I die over some of the shit you guy's say, love it.

- Draco -

"I'm off to bed" Pansy sighed grabbing Liv as she stood up dragging her to their dorm. "Night love" she kissed Blaise, he tapped his cheek pursing his lips at Liv. "Your stupid" she teased rolling her eyes following Pansy up the stairs leaving us behind.

I bit my lip as I pictured her bitting her lip and eyes rolling to the back of her head under me like the last night at the beach house. She felt so different and not just the sex, everything about her. My smiled felt more natural and my moods seemed less tense lately.

It had been a week since she snapped on Astoria, it was so hard to tell her off but I knew I had to. I hadn't seen her around much, not at all really. Me and Liv are the same in ways but you could say things are getting better.

You could tell that her guard is still up around me, scared that i'll fuck up again. Kissing Astoria the nigh of the ball felt so right but I knew in my head it was wrong, then I told her I loved her Merlin these girls have me everywhere.

I longed to touch Astorias skin and kiss her lips again, but I couldn't seem to drift from Liv anymore. Wanting to hold her and feel her lips maybe more than Astoria's, she made me feel more alive and myself.

With Astoria it was mainly sex and cute dates. I loved her, or love her? But that feeling also flowed to Liv too, I was stuck. I knew I had to marry Liv, no choice there but I also wanted to run away with Astoria and live in Paris like we talked about.

I never thought the marriage was bad, I never minded it since those feeling were always floating around somewhere for her. It almost seemed easier since we already knew each other.

She talks to me more, makes more jokes and comments in class. It made a warm feeling spreed within me to see her smile and hear her laugh. I could see in her eyes after the ball how bad I hurt her by kissing Astoria. But what did she expect for me to drop everything in my life for her just cause of some contract, I could but I didn't want to. Call me selfish I don't care.

"I'm heading up you joining" Blaise stretched standing up, I shook my head sitting more up right "I think i'm going to go smoke" he shrugged and mumbled a good night. The common room was quite since it was just me, the green fire was the only warmth on me and it wasn't much.

I watched the black lake as specks on moon light shined through giving the room very little light. A mermaid swam by running a smooth hand through her floating hair, I smiled at a memory from fourth year.

- Flashback -

"Liv- Olivia" I whisper screamed at the sleeping girl, she groaned rolling over. I yanked the pillow from under her head slamming it on top of her. "Shit what do you want" she spat, I put a finger to my lips telling her to hush up.

"Don't wake Parkinson" I demanded, she looked at me confused as why I was standing in her dorm in the middle of the night. "Follow me" I whispered holding my hand out.

Her hand slipped into mine, it was so soft and tiny. I got a flutter in my stomach as her hand wrapped around mine, I moved interlocking our fingers. Even when she first wakes up she's beautiful.

We tip toed down to the common room, "Draco why the hell did you drag me out of bed at this hour, it's cold too" she complained as we stood in the middle of the common room, I huffed pulling my jumper off. A bit of my shirt came up with it revealing some of my abs.

She blushed taking my jumper but trying to hide it as she pulled it on, "thanks" I nodded taking her hand once more and guiding her to the arm chair facing the windows that showed the black lake. I motioned for her to sit but she stayed standing.

"Here" she pushed me to sit down and climbed on my sitting on my lap sideways with her knees to her chest, I looked up at her not knowing what to do, she made me so nerves yet not at the same time.

"It's cold anyways, you brought me here now you have to keep me warm" I wrapped an arm around her back pulling her closer to my chest. "Watch ready" I pointed to the window, then rested my hand on her bent knee slowly rubbing it. "Draco there's noth-" I hushed her waiting a few more seconds.

A gasp left her mouth as the giant squid bobbed by, her eyes light up and her jaw was dropped open. I always wanted to see it but my eyes were stuck on her. I loved to surprise her and make her face light up with joy just as it was right now.

A yawn escaped her lips as she blinked a few times "that was awesome" she rested her head on my shoulder, "I heard that it might swim by tonight so I thought it would be cool to-" I looked down to see her sleeping, her soft breathing filled my ears.

She looked so peaceful.

- End of Flashback -

And just like that the squid swam by without a care in the world.

"Draco" I turned to see her standing there in the common room entrance. "Can we talk?" she sounded so innocent, so hurt.

"About?" I played dumb.

"Don't be stupid, you know what" I sighed looking back but the squid was gone. It's not that I wanted to avoid her but I did, it would make everything so much easier if she just moved on. It would make it easier for me to get closer with Liv and not have the thought of her in the back of my head.

"What do you want me to say huh?" I questioned standing up and turning to face her, she was a few more steps closer than before.

"Do you want me to say that I don't lover her cause I can't say that" I scoff, "But I can't say I don't love you" why did life have to be so difficult, who decides that everything must be so hard and complicated.

"But we didn't even get a chance" she pleaded, I didn't know what to say. She wanted a break and now she was getting one, for good.

"I know and i'm sorry but maybe that's for the best" I gulped down my words, it pained me to say this but it felt like a thousands pounds lifting off of me.

"For the best?- how could this be for the best if you love me. Cause Draco I love you so much and i'm not ready to let you go."

"But you have to cause it's not just you and me anymore, i'm engaged and I have to focus on that. Her, cause she's my future now why can't you get that through your thick skull" I spat clenching my jaw.

I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, that we were going to be okay. But we weren't going to be, not anymore. I made the stupid mistake of kissing her and I hurt Liv, I have to stop hurting people after this. Especially her, Liv.

Tears pooled in her eyes, my face softened and I wanted to kiss them away. "Stay the hell away from me got it" I made clear.

"You love her-" she sniffled making me look up at her as the words spilled out of her mouth "More then me, you love her more" she wiped the tears away.

I never heard it until now, or even thought it.

"I think we always knew that"

Me and her have talked about our future, a few times in fact. Move to Paris, she wanted to be a fashion designer. and I would work for their ministry, but it wasn't reality, they were just thoughts. Things we made up fantasying, being young and stupid.

But we, I can't be so careless anymore, things mattered, what I did mattered. When I thought about it I could see all those things with Liv, but better. More real.

A/N- short ik, it's hard to write in his POV I-.

I have mixed feelings about how I wrote this but I don't know how I could make it better, any feed back?

Happy Friday!