TW: In this chapter there will be mentions of suicide. If you have any problems with that skip over to the end. You already knew what you signed up for, but I thought I should say it once more.
Last night I didn't sleep much. I stayed up debating with myself over Bakugo. I had a talk with myself. I have come to terms with the fact that I like him. The debate was on wether I should tell him or not. I don't think I've been this close with anybody, ever. Except for Izuku, I think of him as a twin brother. Maybe I should tell Izuku first and depending on his reaction I will decide about Bakugou. Solid plan.
With that in mind, I text Izuku
Meet me at the gate in 20 minutes.
7:30 AM
"That should do it" I tell myself and put my shoes on.
"Don't you want a ride?" Nemuri asks me after taking a sip from her coffee. "I'm meeting Izuku I gotta run" I tell her, almost falling down. I grab my bag and open the door. "Have fun, kid" She smiles. She must really like how I have friends now. "Thanks auntie. Love you!" I smile and run off. "I-I LOVE YOU TOO!" I hear her shout from the house. She must be so happy now.
I decide walking is boring so I fly all the way to the school. As I set foot on the ground I see Izuku running towards me. "Hey! What happened?" He says panting. Poor thing must have ran the entire route. "There is something I wanted to tell you" I fidget my fingers and he nods. We walk inside of the gates and make our way to a tree.
"What is it, y/n?" He seems concerned. "Well it's...uh" I want to tell him, so why won't the words come out?
"I...I tried to...uh"
"What are you trying to say, y/n-chan?" His sympathetic look doesn't make it any easier. Maybe I shouldn't... "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I won't judge you"
"I tried to...kill...me, myself. I tried to kill myself"
"What?" Izuku's smile turns into a frown. "I care about you. Kaminari cares about you. Kirishima cares about you. Sero cares about you. Mina cares about you" By now, his voice is getting loud, "Even Kachaan cares about you! Why would you do that?" His eyes fill with tears. I put my arms around him and he hugs me tightly.
"Hey, it's okay" I whisper, trying to calm him down "It was before I met you guys. I'm sorry for upsetting you, that wasn't my intention" He slowly pulls away, still holding me.
"I'm sorry, y/n. I overreacted, I shouldn't have. But, why did you do it?" I can see the sadness in his eyes. Can I really do this to him?
"I just...wasn't coping well then. But I am okay now! So no worries. Everything is fine. Please don't be unhappy because of me" He hugs me again. He sniffles a bit but quickly regains his composure.
"Is it okay if I stay out here for a little longer?" He nods his head inn understanding.
"Want me to stay with you?" I shake my head "No, thank you, though. I am really sorry for burdening you with this" He gives me a soft smile and turns around.
I shouldn't have done that. He wasn't ready for something like that. God, I'm such a fucking idiot. But what if...
"IZUKU!" I scream and he looks at me again with that soft smile. He comes closer to me "What is it y/n-chan?" He tilts his head a bit when I put my palm on his shoulder but he stays silent. I close my eyes.
A swarm of pictures flashes through my mind. These are Izuku's memories. I see a man in an apron, possibly a doctor. "I'm afraid there's no hope for him" The pictures keep moving and they stop in a classroom. Is this Bakugou? "Don't you DARE get into U.A., nerd!" The pictures do another swirl. Now he's kneeling in the street, All Might is standing in front of him. Another scenery change. We're here, outside of U.A.
Concentrate.
"I tried to kill myself"
Concentrate, y/n.
"I tried to kill"
"I tried"
My eyes shoot open. Izuku is standing right in front of me. "What is it, y/n-chan?" His smile turns into a frown. A sigh leaves my parted lips and I hug him. "It's not important"
"It's okay if you don't want to tell me, y/n-chan, I'll be here when you're ready" His arms tighten around my waist.
"Want to go inside?" Izuku smiles. I shake my head and smile. "You can go, I'd like to stay out here for a little while" He nods and turns on his heel.
Once I am out of his field of view I roll down and hug my legs. I lay my head on my knees and before I can realize it, I hear sniffles and tears roll down my eyes. I took his memory away. I stole my friend's memory. I made him sad with so few words. Maybe I shouldn't open up to these people.
"Hey" A calm voice interrupts my thoughts and I'm glad he distracted me. "H-How much did you hear?" I sniffle once again as I'm trying to stop the tears from falling. The person sits down next to me.
"I came here when I heard Midoriya yelling. Are you okay?" I nod my head, not turning around to see face him. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm often told I am a good listener" I can hear him searching for something in his bag. I shake my head a little. I hear a huff and then the sound of plastic. "Do you want some chocolate?" He holds it out for me to take it.
"Thank you, Todoroki-kun" I smile and take the chocolate. I open it and take a bite. "Want some?" I ask him. He shakes his head and opens his mouth but closes it again. What is he trying to say? "I'd like to sit here with you, if that's okay" He looks at me and I do the same. "It's okay, I guess".
We sit beside each other in complete silence, which I'm grateful for. Around 15 minutes later the bell rings. We both get up and grab our bags. I thank him for the chocolate and he smiles as we make our way to class.
-
After some exhausting classes with Mr. Sleepy-Head it is finally time for lunch. And I am starving. I walk out of the classroom with Mina and the guys. Weird. Bakugou isn't walking next to me like he usually does. Now that I think about it, he didn't poke me at class, or tried to to distract me, like he usually does.
I spot him a couple of meters in front of Kaminari and Kirishima, so I quicken my pace to catch up to him.
"Hey" I tell him, using the softest tone I can muster. He just scoffs and looks to the side. "Are you okay?" I try once again, only to be shut down.
"What do you want you stupid extra?" He doesn't even look me in the eyes. Did something happen to him?
Unfazed, Bakugou keeps walking, making our gap big once again. I run up to him and tug at his shirt. "What's wrong?" My voice is steady, but I don't think I can hold it for much longer.
Bakugou flicks my hand and continues walking. "What the fuck, Bakugou?" I tell him in an authoritative tone. He stops walking and stays still.
"Stop bothering me, damn nerd. I won't say it again" He continues walking. And here I was about to tell him my biggest secret. I'm such a fool. I chuckle and shake my head. Mina tries to put her arm around me, probably wanting to ask what that was.
"Not now, Pinky. I'll see you later, okay?" She looks at me confused. She got the hint and let it go but she's likely to bring it up later. I can't be bothered right now, though.
I run the other way from the cafeteria and try to find the teachers' lounge, in hopes of finding Toshinori. I see Aizawa and run up to him. "Sensei, have you seen All Might?"
He looks down at me and points to the door he just went out of. I quickly thank him and get inside. Toshinori is sitting on the couch. Once he sees me he gets up and walks over to me with open arms.
"What happened, kiddo?" He wraps his arms around me, engulfing me in a bear hug. I can't keep the tears in no more. "Let it out, y/n, let it all out"
YOU ARE READING
Mommy issues- K. Bakugou
Fanfiction"He positions his forehead to match hers and they both breathe heavily. She looks at his swollen lips as he looks at her heated cheeks. They both look like a mess. And yet not one feels like it. She feels just like he does, happy, carefree. There is...
