Genshin Impact Oneshots

Mitachurl ✨ Y/n (CrAcK 1)

"You know, I wouldn't mind being thrown to the air by a Mitichurl. They're hot so-"

"Y/n, the fuq?" Scaramouche looked at his subordinate with a look of horror in his face. "The alcohol!- The alcohol is talking!" Childe laughed, deadass crying.

The three are in a bar, drinking vodka, and Y/n had become drunk— very drunk. Scaramouche was the most sober, and Childe was probably at the boundaries of drunk.

"A-and why do you want them to throw you in the air?" Scaramouche wished he hadn't asked.

"They're furry, they're muscly, they're monsters. I want to be stepped by them, I want to-"
Scaramouche had hands on his face, silently regretting ever drinking with Y/n.
"I feel you, Y/n. Hey, hey, did you know I did it with a dragon?-"
"Shush, this isn't about you. This is about mitachurls, and why I want them to crush me with their shields and axe."

Scaramouche silently pleads to Celestia for his brain cells to initiate apoptosis, for his coworkers are simply not human.