I'm Secretly In Love With Her

35.

C H A E Y O U N G

There, finally.

I finally told her. I finally let out my feelings.

This isn't supposed how I will tell her how much I love her but, I guess I badly need to tell her.

Of course, I noticed. I knew that she is avoiding me. I know she makes excuses just to avoid me. I know she lied when she said that she is going to eat lunch with Nayeon unnie last Monday. I know how she signaled Nayeon unnie for help.

I knew it all, and it badly hurts.

She's been avoiding me because she doesn't want to ruin a relationship that I am not in.

"What?" It was the only word she could say after I told her my feeling.

"I... It's you, Mina, it's you. The girl that I love. The girl I am talking about when you asked me when we were at the cliff. It's you, Mina." I softly said looking at her sincerely.

She didn't move and just stand there looking at me.

I sigh.

I knew it, she would reject me. She doesn't love me back or even likes me.

"I'm sorry... I... I can't help but fall in love with you, Mina. I don't know how, where, or when but I knew... I knew to myself that I love you." I started.

"Falling in love with you is the best feeling Mina... Falling in love with you is great. You... You changed something in me that you weren't even doing on purpose or you knew about it." I said and smiled at her.

"Chaeyoung..."

"I've been secretly loving you for years, Mina. Back in college, I am fine just looking at you from afar, I am fine hearing your voice whenever I passed by you. Whenever you were out with our friends back then... I made excuses, excuses every time I regret telling so."

"I should have... I should have been confident before, I should have approached you before, I should have not been a coward to tell you how much I admired you before. There are a lot of should-haves Mina. A lot."

Then maybe, maybe you love me back too and we are in a relationship right now, but I'm stupid and coward, like always.

"When you entered the company, I was the happiest person that day, because I can finally see you up close, talk to you and be with you. But I am so stupid for still not telling you how I feel, it took me years, and that is now." I smiled at her again and saw a lone tear falling down her eyes.

"You make my heart flutter every time I see you smile, I hear you talk, and when you simple cheer me up every time I am down. I love the simple things you make, it makes me happy."

"It's funny that I confessed to you like this. I am too weak, Mina. I'm sorry, you can... You can continue ignoring me after you left today... You can resign if you want. You can stay away from me... If you want to do that."

I was looking on the ground, thinking of how will I be once she literally avoided me.

"Ouch!" I said when something hit my head.

I look at what it is and was confused seeing a bracelet on the floor.

Did she throw her bracelet at me?

"You pabo! How can you say that I am leaving you? You haven't even heard my words yet."

Right.

"No need to tell anything."

"Chae-."

"I know you're going to reject me."

"Let m-."

"It's fine, I'll be fine."

"Can you pl-."

"I can move on, maybe some- ouch!"

"Sorry if I slapped you. But you won't let me talk! Can you please not cut me off and you shut up for a while? Hmm?"

Ouch, is this how she'll reject me? By slapping me?

"And who says you can move on from me? You aren't allowed to do so." I immediately look at her.

"Huh?"

"I hate it when you assume things immediately."

"Sorry."

"I hate it when you always overthink."

"Sorry."

"I also hate it when you say sorry when you clearly don't need to say it though."

"Sor-."

"I hate it when I see you with the girl who came to the company when we were supposed to eat our lunch together."

"Huh?" I look at her confused.

"I hate it when you are with her. You're supposed to be only with me. You're supposed to only give your attention to me." She said.

To hers?

"Mina, how am I going to do that when you were avoiding me?" I said.

"I... Right, I'm sorry, I really thought she's the girl you love. I saw you at the mall and... And she kissed your cheeks and hold your hands... I thought you're in a relationship already." She rumbled.

I only looked at her.

So she was the one I saw looking at us when I was at the mall with my friend, Yeri.

"Chaeyoung..."

"Don't let her kiss your cheeks and hold your hand ever again. Okay? Or to anyone else, no one else is allowed to do that but only me." I frown at her.

"Why so? You can't tell me what to do that when you don't love me back." I told her.

It sounds so unfair and selfish.

"Chaeyoung, I'm jealous when I see you holding other girls' hands. I don't like it, I hate seeing it."

"You know what? Leave. You are confusing me. You tell me these things when you rejected me already." I told her.

I don't to be confused anymore.

"I didn't tell you that I rejected you! How can you say you say that I rejected you?"

"You..."

"I? I what?" She asked.

She... I don't know.

"See."

"Just go, Mina." I said.

"No, not unless I tell you something." She said and I sigh.

Is she now rejecting me?

"What is it?" I said looking into her eyes.

Mina walks closer to me and puts her hands on my cheeks.

Does she want me to see her face and focus on her eyes as she rejects me?

"I love you too, Chaeyoung. I love you so much."

-

Hello! Sorry for not updating, I was busy doing nothing, hehe. Also, lame chapter, I know, my mind is blank and I don't know what to write.