Rains of Sparks (Celebrity Series #4) [COMPLETED]

Spark 41

Chapter 41

Take Rest

He looked so hurt. It's triggering my emotions so much.

Pero ayaw mahaplos ng puso ko. I was always reminded to all the pain I felt when I knew he was not the man I've been waiting for years. That he fooled me. He lied so hard. He made me so fucking stupid for believing that he's my first love.

"Can I-I still fix this? Please..." aniya at humakbang papalit sa akin, puno ng takot ang mga mata. "Anong gusto mong gawin ko? Aayusin ko, Shan. Pakiusap. Huwag namang ganito..."

"What are you really expecting?" I looked at him with danger in my eyes. "Do you really expect me to take you after knowing everything? Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!"

He swallowed hard and tried to reach for my hands. Dumaan ang matinding takot sa mga mata niya na pakiramdam ko, kaya niyang umiyak ngayon sa harap ko.

"Who are you?! Why the hell did you make me believe you are my special person! Anong ginawa ko sa'yo para pagsinungalingan ako nang ganito?!"

Napalunok siya at umiling, mas lalo lang natakot sa akin ngayon.

"You have no fucking amnesia! You have your memory intact, even living a one healthy life and enjoying everything like you own the world! Naisip mo rin ba ang taong nagsakripisyo para mabuhay ka ng ganito? Have you even suffer after that operation?! I bet not! Of course you didn't suffer! You're living like so fucking free because of Keene!"

Bumuhos ng sobra ang mga luha ko sa sobrang sakit at galit.

Ang kapal-kapal ng mukha niya.

He made me believe he was Keene. He made me believe he really lost his memory. He made me fucking believe all of his lies!

"Ang lakas-lakas ng loob mong mabuhay na parang si Keene sa harap ko. Ang kapal-kapal ng mukha mong mabuhay na sa katauhan ni Keene! You even made yourself a detective! For fucking what?! To live like him? To make me believe when time comes? Mukha lang ang magkapareho kayo pero hindi ka si Keene! You are not Keene and you will never be! Remember that!"

Yumuko siya at nanghihinang tumango. Like he was accepting all of it. His lips paled and didn't speak.

"And do you know what's more painful? I lost my love because of you! Keene died because of you!!" Bumuhos pa lalo ang mga luha ko. "Anong meron sa buhay mo at bakit mas pinila ka ni Tita Loren na mabuhay? Anong mahalaga sa buhay mo para kailangang si Keene ang magsakripisyo para sa'yo?!"

He bowed down. Kinagat niya ang nanginginig na labi at umiling, bagsak ang mga balikat at nanghina na nang sobra sa sinabi ko.

"I w-was not important. I'm sorry..." he said painfully.

Yumuko siya lalo at suminghap, wala ng lakas.

"I'm s-sorry that I have to take his heart to live. I'm sorry that I have to take his place. I'm sorry that he had to die because of me. I-I'm really sorry, Shan. It's all my fault..."

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes tightly, very pained.

"Wala n-ng mas importante pa sa buhay niya. If only I can give back his heart. If only I can make him live again. Keene was more deserving to live. I'm very sorry for... living."

Nag-angat siya ng tingin at sa pagkakataong iyon, parang gusto ko na lang manghina. His eyes were so hurt. He looked so miserable, weak and sad. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko.

"Tama ka. Hindi ako importante. Hindi kailanman naging importante ang buhay ko. Pero gusto kong malaman mo na ikaw ang nagbigay ng halaga no'n. Ikaw ang importante sa buong buhay ko, Shiana."