Rains of Sparks (Celebrity Series #4) [COMPLETED]

Spark 43

Chapter 43

To Confess

Hindi ko alam kung saan ibubuntong ang galit ko.

Galit na galit ako sa nalaman. Naiiyak ako sa sobrang galit at sakit. Paano nila nagawa iyon kay Keene? Paano nila nagawang maging makasarili?

Keene was gone. His heart was the reason why I am living right now.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang buwan kong inignora sina Mama at Papa pagkatapos malaman ang lahat. Sa sobrang galit at sakit ay halos araw-araw akong umiiyak. My doctors were so worried because I sometimes have trigger. Na-a-out of condition ulit ang puso ko.

It trigger my will of being gone again. Ginusto kong mabuhay dahil sa mga pangarap namin ni Keene at ngayong wala siya, ano pang magiging saysay ng buhay ko? Hindi kailanman naging tama sa akin na nagsakripisyo siya para mabuhay ako!

"Klein," Mama was crying when she finally got the chance to talk to me after months of ignoring them. "You can blame us all you want, but please don't blame yourself. Don't question your worth for this, Klein. You deserve t-this... You deserve to live."

"And Keene doesn't deserve to live, Mama?" Namumuo ang luha sa mga mata ko. "Wala kayong karapatang gawin iyon sa kanya para lang mabuhay ako!"

"At ano? Hahayaan na lang kitang mamatay? Hahayaan ko na lang kayong parehong mawala sa akin? Naaksidente si Keene, anak! Hindi ko rin ginusto ang nangyari! He was already brain dead at kahit ano pang gawin namin sa kanya, hindi na namin siya maisasalba! Ikaw, sa mga panahong iyon, lumalaban ka! Gustong-gusto mong mabuhay. Sa inyong dalawa, ikaw ang may pagkakataong mabuhay! Kung hinayaan ko 'yon, kayong dalawa ang mawawala sa akin!"

"You donated his organs! You d-donated his life, Mama!" nawasak ang boses ko sa sobrang sakit.

Hindi ko matanggap. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin na nasa akin na nga ang puso niya, kailangan pang ipamigay ang ibang bahagi ng katawan niya!

"It is because he told me to do that!" sigaw niyang nakapagpatigil sa akin nang sobra. "Hindi ko rin ginustong gawin 'yon dahil anak ko siya! But during those times when you are in a very critical condition, he said he could sacrifice for you! He can do anything for you to survive! Nagalit ako ng sobra sa kanya dahil anong karapatan niyang sabihin iyon?! Mabubuhay kayo! Walang mamatay sa inyong dalawa! I was so angry because he was so sure he could really sacrifice his life! He told me to give his heart and donate his organs to those in needs because he knows the feeling of being poor and neglected! He emphatized those people who fight for their life so much that he wanted to give them a chance to live!"

Nanikip ang dibdib ko. Mama sobbed hardly.

"N-Nasasaktan din ako, Klein. Sobrang nasaktan din ako sa nangyari sa kanya. I was so desperate to save you and the only way to do that is to sacrifice Keene. Hindi ko rin ginustong mawala siya..."

Keene...

Why do you have to do this, bro? Bakit naman ganito...

Umiling ako kasabay ng pagbuhos ng aking mga luha.

I was living my whole life questioning about how worthy I am to have Keene's life? Am I worth it? Paano kung si Keene na lang ang nabuhay?

I was so down and hopeless until I dream about him. He was talking to me with a smile on his face and the next morning, I cried so hard and realized, it was my wake up call to continue living.

Since that day, I promise to live my life. I promised to treasure my life he gave me. I promised to fulfill his dreams.

Nag-aral ako nang maigi. Ginawa ko ang lahat para maging kondisyon ang katawan at puso ko. I made sure I made myself very healthy so that I can fulfill Keene's dream. Pagkatapos mag-aral ng accountancy ay sumabak ako sa training. My heart was very healthy that I was allowed by a doctor to do that.