Letters to Inmate 29901

Chapter 72

CHAPTER 72

Lillie

Champagne glasses clinked about in celebration from family and friends, as laughter trickled through the air. But I wasn't laughing with them. This was supposed to be a joyous occasion for my mom. I was happy for her, but the romance in the air was stifling.

It's been two days ago since I had seen Dimitri, and it left me troubled. I was angry at him and had to let him know exactly how I felt. I tried to hold it together, but the booze that night gave me enough courage to give him a piece of my mind. I did feel a tang of guilt for slapping him, though. I winced. New York was eventful, to say the least. I was glad to be back in New Jersey.

I watched Dimitri fight in a cage and stepped into a club with women. I saw a life he leads, and I knew I wouldn't fit in. Bitterness cut through. But I had to hold it in, for my mother's sake. We had just finished the wedding rehearsal that went off without a hitch, and now gathered for the rehearsal dinner at a seafood restaurant.

The long dinner table brimmed with Patrick's family and friends and my mom's family, which only had Aunt Louis, Sassi and I. Conversations flowed from both sides, but my mind was zoned out.

The delicious smell snapped me back to reality.

The table looked delightful, filled with crab cakes, paella, grilled fish, fries, and veggies. I had no apatite but forced myself to eat. As I sipped my wine, I was determined to enjoy the evening. I took a bite of the spicy paella. It melted in my mouth, a burst of flavor hitting my tongue. I enjoyed it.

"Are you okay?" Sassi nudged me from my brief indulgence. Sassi looked at me and stopped eating her grilled fish midway.

I nodded and continued to take another bite.

"Are you thinking about the other night with Dimitri?" she whispered, so that nobody could hear us, as if it were a secret.

"I'm trying not to." I said miserably.

Sassi shook her head. "Don't sweat it, Dimitri's a jerk and so is his friend, Kyle." Sassi huffed.

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? It didn't look like Kyle was a jerk when you were flirting with him."

Sassi opened her mouth. "I was not flirting with him, Lil." she said sheepishly.

We didn't hear the surrounding murmur from people seated nearby as a figure approached us from behind.

"Hey baby." A male voice said.

Sassi dropped her fork, clapping it against the plate. We both whipped around to see Trevor, Sassi's boyfriend, standing behind us. I looked to Sassi, her mouth slightly dropped, surprise written on both our faces, especially hot off the heels from our conversation.

Sassi got up and hugged Trevor. "What are you doing here so early?" she said, grinning. "I was expecting you only tomorrow morning."

"Well yeah, I thought I'll take an earlier flight and surprise you." He said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

I smiled. Sassi and Trevor looked like a picture together. He had handsome features that were clean cut with wavy brown hair. He was an upstanding guy that was good for Sassi, keeping her grounded. I hoped he could handle her, though. She could be overwhelming.

We squeezed our seats, creating space for Trevor to sit next to Sassi. Mom and Patrick were happy to see him, as Sassi introduced him around the table. The rest of the dinner went by quickly after that. I felt slightly better too, since Trevor brought a new mood to the group.

Everyone said their goodbyes till the wedding tomorrow. My Mom approached me, a tender smile on her glowing face.

"Hey hun," she said. "You weren't your cheery self tonight, anything the matter?"

"It's just one of those days, Mom. But I'm okay, don't worry about me. This is your day." I said, forcing a smile. Damn, my mother could always sense if something was wrong.

"It might be my day, but I'm still your mother, and what bothers you, bothers me." she said as she rubbed my arms, that was folded tight across my chest.

My eyes prickled as I tried to hold back tears once again. "I know, mom..." I said my voice in a whisper before it broke completely.

She hugged me, giving me warmth and comfort that I needed, and I melted into it.

"Why don't you move down to New Jersey, so we could be close?" she suggested, breaking the hug and looking at me. "You could transfer schools and teach here instead?"

I sighed and smiled weakly. "I'll think about it."

"Good." My Mom said.

 ***

We returned to the guest house. Trevor booked a room, so Sassi was going to be with him. Tomorrow was the big day for my Mom, and I needed the rest. The bed was calling my name, begging me to sleep. Sassi waved good night and disappeared into the room opposite with Trevor.

I was alone tonight and hoped my wondering thoughts wouldn't bother me. I entered the dark room and switched on the light. I entered and lightly crunched on something with my heels. There was a white envelope on the carpet. My heart skipped a beat at the familiarity of it all.

I breathed in. Somebody from the guest house must have slid it under the door. I picked it up and inspected it. The letter was addressed to the guest house with my name written on. I breathed out, anxiety filling me up. I tore the envelope carefully and retrieved the letter. I read who was it from. I walked to the bed, my wobbly legs giving in slightly, and continued to read.

Dearest Lillie

Please forgive me.

Hurting you destroyed me more than I could possibly imagine. You don't deserve any of the anger I have caused. It's been a while since that night at the club, and it really messed me up. I realized I want you and I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go.

I haven't taken you on a proper date. Please have dinner with me so that I can apologize and explain properly. I understand you might not be ready to take me back, but I fully intend to work for my absolution and gain your trust.

I want you in my life.

If you ever bring yourself to forgive me, I want you to know that I will be here patiently waiting for you to come back to me.

But if you don't want this. I deserve to be ignored and I accept my punishment if you moved on.

I look forward to your reply.

Love always,

Dimitri

My mind ached with Dimitri's words. I let out a deep sigh and placed the letter to my heart, as my eyes stung with fresh tears.