TAEGYU EROS & MANIA

-.CHAPTER 28.-

Unedited as usual.

-Beomgyu-

Beomgyu pulled away, his droopy eyes looking up at Taehyun as he hadn't answered, though the room was unlit, he could clearly see his exhausted face, he cupped the younger's face "You okay?"  Taehyun hummed in response as he hugged Beomgyu burying his face on his neck, smiling fondly against his skin, "Now I am." 

"You sure?" "Yea... Let's just not talk about this." This was different, it was new, Taehyun had rarely been affectionate towards Beomgyu, though the older enjoyed it he still had his doubts. He decided to stay quiet, Taehyun silently let go, staring down into the brunette's eyes, his eyes filled with love and a visible glint of sadness, he was mesmerized.

Beomgyu booped his nose, giggling "Am I that beautiful?" Taehyun chuckled lightly, "Yes." the straightforward answer threw patches of red on Beomgyu's cheeks, "Anyways, did you have your dinner?" he quickly changed the topic. "Yeah." Taehyun lied. 

"What were you doing, being up this late?" Taehyun talked as he walked towards his room with Beomgyu following him from the back, "I studied while waiting for you," he paused rethinking what he just said, "Well actually, I tried to study." 

The blonde turned around for a split second, chuckling at the pouty Beomgyu, "You didn't need to," he paused as he let the older walk in his room, "Now go sleep, I'll take my shower." The brunette playfully glared at him, he was back at his bluntness.

...

°Taehyun° 

He had just ended the online meeting with his staff leaving him to review all their presentations once again, it was six in the evening though it was Saturday he had been working since morning. From the corner of his eye he saw a mug being placed on the table, he shifted his attention to the brown-haired boy beside him. Taehyun couldn't resist the urge to pull him onto his lap, so he did.

Beomgyu gasped at the Gadarene pull, the blonde leaned forward as he continued with his work, the older smiled looking at the working hands in front of him he rested against the other's shoulder. Comfortable silence blanketed the room but soon it was brought to an end when Taehyun's phone lit up.

9+ messages from Jaemin

Beomgyu's happy high spirits drowned themselves as his eyes landed on this certain name, Taehyun casually turned off the phone which made Beomgyu knit his eyebrows together. He had heard the name quite a few times this past month, albeit being completely unaware of the person's identity Beomgyu had created a chimerical image for the character, knowing very little to nothing yet he was sure that it wasn't a name that was supposed to be ignored, at least not under Taehyun's watch.

"Tae, if you don't mind can I ask you something?" their relationship somewhere or the other was still on formal terms, Taehyun nodded allowing Beomgyu to continue, "Who is Jaemin?" He stammered quite unsure of Taehyun would react, "My Bestfriend," he answered sparing the older with details. Beomgyu wasn't quite satisfied with the short response, an ardent desire of satisfying the curiosity of his rummaging brain looking for an elaborate explanation, flowing out with his words.

"Why aren't you replying to his messages then?" Beomgyu asked like a quiescent- he always has this soothing soft rustle tone running around his words, having an unknowingly enchanting effect, sometimes making it irresistible to not answer or ignore, like a siren's call? Even Taehyun, a person with heightened awareness gave into his naive and sweet aura; still, Beomgyu remained unaware of his beauty, "We had an argument yesterday," he continued to work, keeping his monotone on track. 

Beomgyu huffed, getting back on to his feet, "Was it the reason why you were looking down yesterday?" Taehyun sensed that the older won't shut up till he gets to know it all, guess their conversation won't be esoteric anymore now that the sentences were being played in the third person.

The further the narration went the more guilty he started feeling, it felt as if he was presented in the court with no one in his defense, everything against him- very well aware that he indeed was in the wrong. Ashamed of himself, the subtle yet persistent feeling of being out of place ever since. 

The incident had been a constant distraction, no matter how many times he tried to follow Taehyun's words 'Forgive yourself,' he simply couldn't. 

Oh, how easily Taehyun forgave him, he couldn't swallow that acceptance in, he had expected harsh separations, feeling as if he owed the younger an explanation even when he was completely aware and had already forgiven him. The need to justify his not so intentional wrongs. 

Taehyun not realizing the complexity in the older's mind nor did he acknowledge the fact Beomgyu might get hurt by something which was thrown at him, therefore he went on and told him about the comparison part oh and that hit home.

'Slut' Beomgyu had been living with the tag until his college years had arrived, middle school, high school, those years were socially hell for him, constantly being bullied for ridiculous reasons, none of them held validity.

It's okay when the word is used to tease your close ones, playfully, a word that is thrown casually into conversations when no one takes offense by it, but when the same word is used to define someone's personality, it's not okay. 

Everything changed the day when he came out to his "friends" who later abandoned him, the news spread around like wildfire around the campus, the sweet and helping Beomgyu was now given the tags like, 'faggot', 'annoying' and the most dominant and commonly used one 'slut', funny how the teachers saw everything but stayed quiet. 

Whenever he tried to approach someone for help he was shooed away, and whenever someone else tried to approach him they were also shooed away, the bullies filling their ears with not-so-fancy words about Beomgyu, and they fell into their traps. They called him a try-hard when he answered questions, stupid when he didn't, annoying when he spoke, strange when he didn't. For no reason, pushing his limits making his life miserable. 

His late insecurities flowing down his eyes, his lips trembled as he tried to stop himself, Taehyun was quick to act, no questions asked, he pulled him into his tight embrace, comforting him, with these past memories, he went ahead to doubt their relationship as well, everything had happened so quickly, he hadn't actually thought realistically about it, he had always fantasized their relation, but now he was agreeing with Jaemin's hurtfully true words. 'Taehyun has so many options why do I think this will work out well?' 

The difference between the two confessions being the source of comfort.

...

Another chapter done!

*Happy Solomon noises*