Their love was about 'I am yours' but secretly they were just possessing the other with 'You're only mine.'
"I am obsessed with him, just him, you don't understand. No one can have him, he's all mine."
- Mania
"I desire him more than anything but...
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Funny, how warmth, to Beomgyu, did not resonate within a warm hug or a cup of hot chocolate but it resided within those cold hands that wrapped around him, with every emotion they could muster, an inevitable confusion provided with the embrace, confusion, that ought to create distress but unsurprisingly it didn't. Because Beomgyu would feed off every single thing Taehyun would give to him, it doesn't matter because all of it, had always been positive.
Also funny, how two boys who never knew what love was, have bestowed themselves upon the highest grounds love could offer. It so happens, that they are all alone on this ground. But they don't know because they are so high up, clouds of misjudgement and illusions hover above the low grounds, hiding the base upon which they were building the rest of their feelings.
And fucking hilarious, how living with these disguised feelings is working out for them, yes, conflicts arose but when you put their names together, the combination had always prospered. Using words with mismatched definitions, love and obsession, oh so similar yet so different, while one ran in circles around the former the other strayed far away from it. But it didn't matter, did it? Because who's checking? Even if someone did, bravery was not something they'd possess, to break them apart. And why even bother? For their claims would always fall on deaf ears.
...
It had been a week since Beomgyu had had a proper look at Taehyun's face, he tried to catch up with his inhumane schedule but the efforts were met with dead ends and with the new term approaching it seemed impossible to do so even more. Was luck really not on his side? Because he tried staying up late, chugging huge amounts of caffeine, setting up his alarm for ungodly hours of the day and whatnot?! But his timings never matched with the blonde's because each day was a different routine. And it wasn't as if Taehyun wasn't coming home at all, he was, Beomgyu knew, the gifts, letters, the texts and most importantly the sheets around him, by the hour he went to sleep were either faint or void of his scent but by the time he woke up, the smell was more prominent.
The little somethings Taehyun left him were now his only source of comfort, to make up for his presence. They didn't come one bit around to make up for the absence, it was nothing but a thoughtful gesture he was grateful for, somewhere it gave him the confirmation that yes, Taehyun was indeed missing him as much as he himself did. Each sentiment was valuable to him, although he had grown quite fond of that little charm bracelet, the one closest to his heart. Beomgyu looked forward to opening these, every morning he was surprised with the thought that went into each thing but today he was more than just amused, it unlocked a certain nostalgic memory in him.
You know that time when you caught Yeosang Hyung clicking pictures of you? I knew that you knew, the later pictures gave it away but yeah, I never told you what the purpose was. No, I was not being a creep just staring at them, it was for the dresses I was making for you, here have a look at how beautiful you look in these, even in those horrendous failed attempts for the so-called designs. It's just that you look astonishing in anything and everything that I became so indecisive with every detail, take this as an inside look at the work process. Surprise yourself.
