Their love was about 'I am yours' but secretly they were just possessing the other with 'You're only mine.'
"I am obsessed with him, just him, you don't understand. No one can have him, he's all mine."
- Mania
"I desire him more than anything but...
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Being back inside that apartment Beomgyu had started referring to as 'home' didn't quite welcome him with a warm comforting embrace like it usually did. Instead, it was eerie inside, painfully so, cold even though it was the end of spring. It was as if the air sensed the tension surrounding them and also decided to contribute.
Beomgyu pondered upon several things the past two days, all he did was think, he held no solutions, rather more questions were put forth. He loves Taehyun, and that was one thought no one could deny, he wonders when was the last time he had cried so much for someone, did he ever care this much for someone? Or had he simply not encountered a situation like this before? It doesn't matter really, all he knows is that he would run miles if Taehyun asked him to but that's the problem. Taehyun doesn't ask him for anything, in fact, he has barely uttered any words in the past couple of days, and that too to the doctors only. He doesn't even look at Beomgyu, let alone meet his eyes but Beomgyu sees it all too well, the blonde is scared and dare he say hurt.
When the doctors called him inside, saying that Taehyun had woken up, he rushed inside the room, the sight thawed at his heart again, the grief will always be there no matter how many times he is confronted with the same situation. The contrast was not appealing at all, why did it have to be such extremes? Why couldn't they just swing in between? Where was the flirty pink-shirt guy he first met? In front of whom had Beomgyu embarrassed himself, quite a few times, he'd take that over this any day. He is not only worried about Taehyun but the event that was supposed to happen in four weeks, and the company? They haven't heard from their boss in three days and it is so close to the deadline, if the company doesn't present something, something that is not up to their name, they are doomed. From what he knows, there were a lot of investments made for this one particular project, the company will run into losses if this event fails, their profit projections were mostly dependent on it. The losses will affect foreign investments, company reputation, employee salary and whatnot-
They need a miracle and it seems far-fetched, farther even until Taehyun decides to get back on track.
...
In the hospital, they were surrounded by the hospital staff with minimal contact with each other, now they were each other's only company. Taehyun wouldn't look him in the eye nor would Beomgyu try to make him do so, he found out soon enough that just looking at the younger's face stings his eyes and he can't act on that shit in front of him. So, he does what Taehyun would've done, bottling up his emotions, that doesn't work out too well though. He manages not to cry in front of Taehyun but he cries every time Taehyun is not with him, he cries the moment Taehyun falls asleep, he cries during showers, he cries when he sees his face in the mirror for too long, he cries when he sets the dishes into the dishwasher, he cries and he cries but he can't afford to make any sounds, so he bites on his lips till they bleed, his palm isn't enough to cover his cries so he bites his fingers, then it gets too intense, he can't cry beside a sleeping Taehyun, so he walks away from sleep. That's why on the third night, sleep hits him like a truck, passing out beside a barely asleep Taehyun.
