Aquagirl (Fem. Percy x YJ)

79

My hand covered my mouth, a desperate bid to control my breathing. And failing that, hopefully it would smother the ragged gasps. None of that was intentional. No matter how many times I had walked a member of the Team through breathing exercises, I could never remember them when I needed them. 

Evidently, I didn't do a good job. It was made all too obvious by the shifting of the bed and the pull on the blankets. My grip on the comforter tightened. The light beside the bed clicked on, casting the room in soft, warm light interspersed with shadows. 

"Dinah?" Ollie mumbled, voice heavy with sleep. He placed his hand on my shoulder. The touch was light and gentle and it shouldn't have made me flinch. But I did. I jolted. "I'm right here. You need anything?"

"Hug."

"Okay, keep breathing for me, honey." He gently tugged me into a sitting position. Strong, warm arms wrapped around me, pressing me against his chest. My nails dug into the hard muscles of his back as my forehead rested on his collarbone. His heartbeat stayed steady, slow, and it gave me something to focus on. Tears continued down my face, accompanied by the stabbing pains in my chest. It's just a panic attack. It can't hurt me.

Knowing that didn't make it any easier to deal with.

Ollie said nothing, just kept holding me as I wrestled my body for control. Eventually, taking far more time than I would have preferred, I succeeded. I curled and uncurled my hands; all the feeling in them seemed to have vanished. 

"You okay?" Ollie asked, assuredly more awake than he was earlier. "Need to talk about it?" 

I turned my head to the side. Two am. Not even an hour of sleep. And Ollie got home after me. I blinked, wishing for my eyes to slip closed and send me off to a dream in which everything was okay. They didn't. "I can't."

"Can't or don't want to?"

"I can't."  I choked out. "I can't." The tears I had stopped threatened to begin again, burning pressure in the corners of my eyes. "I can't tell you, Ollie."

"Is there anything you can tell me?"

"I'm scared." Scared of what's going to happen to Kaldur. He's under suicide watch, but we have to be careful. He doesn't want the others to find out, and we have to do out best to respect that. We don't want to risk making things worse. But none of that changes what I read in that note. It doesn't change the fact that Kaldur was planning to kill himself as penance or that he was doing what should have happened when he was in enemy hands. And then I have to worry about what Orin will do. Treason is punishable by death in Atlantis, and Kaldur committed two acts that could be considered as such.

"Do you want me to wake up Roy?"

A sigh left my lips, and I shook my head. Seeing him would only make this harder, as shitty of a thing that is to say. I can't look at my own adopted son, all because I can't handle whats going on. He's one of Kaldur's best friends, and he has no idea what's happened. The moment he finds out Kaldur was tortured, he's going to rush over there and probably say something that will make things that much worse. he wouldn't mean to, it's just a fact of his nature. "No."

"Want to watch a movie?"

As tempting as it was, I knew I wouldn't be able to focus, and that something in it would probably drag me right back into my panic. I pulled away from Ollie, letting the cold air wrap around me. I rolled off the bed. I grabbed my jacket off the floor and pulled it on over my nightshirt.

"I'm going to the Cave," I said. "I'll be back in a little bit."

"Dinah-"

"I just need- I need to go check something out. I need to make sure-" I need to make sure he's still alive. The bedroom door shut behind me. My bare feet padded against the the wood of the hallway floors. Moonlight streamed through the windows, catching dust swirling in its beams. The cold seeping into my feet began to hurt, and it only grew worse as I headed downstairs, as I headed into the cellar. The door creaked open, and the stairs complained with each step. A light was on. Did Ollie forget to turn it off when he came home?

The thought flew out of my head when I caught a glimpse of red hair. Roy sat against the wall, pajamas rumpled and bags under his eyes. He blinked and looked at me as I stepped into the cellar.

"Di-" A yawn. "-nah?"

I sighed. "Roy, you shouldn't be drinking. It's bad for you," I said.

"Wasn't drinking." Aluminum hit aluminum as he brushed cans behind him. "And even if I was, at least it's better than drugs. What are you even doing up?" 

"You can't just trade one problem for another." I knelt beside him. Only two cans. At least that's better. I used to find him with a dozen. Hopefully he's trying to stop and I didn't just catch him early. I placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to ignore the urge to pull him into a tight hug. It would raise more questions. "Ollie and I are here for you, you know that right?'

Roy scoffed. "Like Oliver gives a fuck about me. I'm just some stupid orphan he picked up."

"If he didn't care he wouldn't have gotten mad when he found out you were doing drugs." I shifted and ran a hand through the soft red hair. "I can't say he was right with how he reacted, but he was scared. We've all done things we regret when we were scared for the people we love. We just want you to be safe and happy. Go on up to bed, and make sure to brush your teeth. We're going to talk about this in the morning, okay?"

"You never told me what you were doing up." He let his head loll onto my shoulder. 

"I need to check something out at the Cave."

"What?"

"It's not important," I lied. I stood. "Go to bed, Roy. I'll make you pancakes in the morning."

"Thanks, Dinah."

Roy gathered his things and disappeared up the steps as I slipped through the secret door into the base. Working on muscle memory, I made it to the Zeta Tube without stubbing my toe on anything. Before long, I found myself reappearing in the cool caverns of the Cave. The stone floor was so much colder here, and I found myself both quickening my steps and wishing I'd grabbed my slippers. Only the dim emergency lights were on, casting a red glow just enough for me to see by. As I passed through the living room, I noted Tula, Garth and Ronal piled together. Calvin and Sha'lain'a were nearby, close enough that if Tula rolled over, she could end up curling against Sha'lain'a. 

I hurried through that room as quickly as I could, careful to not wake any of them. One, two- I stopped and stared at the plain door. Taking a deep breath, I rested my hand on the handle and opened the door. The green light from the hallway, changed after the red glow caused a flashback, spilled into his room, illuminating the figure curled on the floor.  Kaldur's chest rose and fell with each stuttered and choked breath he took. I bit my lip and stepped into the room. 

I didn't want to wake him, far more than I didn't want to wake his friends. There was no promise he'd see me as a friend, not to mention it was creepy on its on. His expression scrunched up, and I couldn't help myself as a cry passed through his lips. I sat beside him, and brushed hair away from his face. Even asleep, he pressed his head towards my hand. I swallowed. He's so touch starved. Fingers pressing against his scalp, I gently rubbed his head. He woke with a full body flinch, eyes darting around until they landed on me. Tension left his body and he relaxed. He didn't ask why I was here, and I was grateful.

"Go back to sleep," I whispered. He nodded and mumbled something in Atlantean. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Should not worry." He mumbled, words slurring together. 

"Sh. Just go back to sleep."

Welp

I have 18 percent battery so

See yah