Life Is A Living Hell

Chapter 20 Weak (rewritten)

You love him?
Yes.
How do you know?
Because seeing him smile is the only thing
I ever want to see, even if it's not because of me.
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Olivia Brown

My eyes fluttered open to a windy morning.

Today was the day all the guys, but Antonio, would leave. I didn't want that; I didn't want to be alone with Antonio for a whole week.

He didn't make sense, he never talked to me, but he could kiss me whenever he desired.

With a sigh, I jumped off of my bed.

I really hoped that they would find Joseph and get the damn flash drive. He was the reason why I was here in the first place.

I put on a black tank top with a pair of soft, grey pants, brushed my hair and braided it.

My eyes looked lifeless in the mirror, I smiled, but it didn't help.

On some people, you could see that they didn't feel well inside, in how they dressed or their behaviour. Whereas, other people smiled and joked, went on with their life as it was filled with happiness. But it was them who hurt the most. They had all the bad voices in their head.

I didn't know where I fitted in, but somehow, I smiled and laughed even though I was filled with misery inside. I think I just forgot about everything else when I was with someone. And Mateo forced me into this kind of behaviour. Don't show emotions.

He raised me like I was his son, and when he didn't succeed, he took it out on me.

And at the end of the day, when I was alone in my bed, all the emotions flowed down on me, made me cry so much that I couldn't even breathe.

I headed out of my room, down to the first floor.

My eyes found the guys standing at the entrance with their suitcases.

"Are you off already?" I gazed at them with a frown. Theo gazed up from his phone with a smile and came closer to me.

"No, I would never leave without taking farewell." He grinned.

"Can't I come with you?" I pleaded with a smile. He shook his head.

"Come on. I can even hide in your suitcase if I've to." I added.

"I'm sorry, but you've to stay here." He gazed down at me with a sad smile.

"But if you want, you can take a ride on me." Colt glanced down at himself, then smirked at me. The guys behind him chuckled and shook their heads.

"We've to go now," Diego said.

"Bye," I said with a small smile.

"Bye," they said in unison with a smirk, and closed the door after themselves.

It was something I didn't understand. They said that they needed me to help them with finding Joseph, but then they say I can't come with them because I'm too weak.

So why do they keep holding me hostage here? This doesn't make sense.

I stared at the closed door for a while before sighing and going to the kitchen.

The maids weren't here, so I prepared my own breakfast, and I ate it in silence, alone.

The absence of the guys could be felt. The mansion was too big for only two people. The silence was too loud, too stark. The only sound that could be heard was me putting away dishes. When I was done, I strolled back to my empty room.

I believed Antonio was either in his room or office.

Since the guys were off to Spain, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't really find Joseph here in Italy.

I glanced around in my room for something to do. Reading books? Nah, I was not in the mood. I wanted to do something to help them so I could escape from this life. Without a second thought, I made my way out of my room. I wanted to see Antonio and ask him what I could do to help. Even though I was weak like he thought.

I didn't know where he was. In his room? Or was he in his office? I wasn't allowed to go up to his floor/room for some reason, so I walked to his office, hoping he was there.

Instead of barging in like I usually did, I knocked softly. No sound came from the office. Maybe he wasn't there. I knocked harder, maybe he didn't hear.

"Come in." I heard his deep, grumpy voice through the door. I opened the door slowly. He was sitting behind his dark desk with a frown on his face, rubbing his forehead. I went slowly up to his desk.

"What do you want," he grunted without glancing up at me.

"I just wondered what I can do to help," I said softly, gazing down at his tense body.

He chuckled deeply. "You, you can't do anything."

Yeah, that's what you think, jerk!

I took a deep breath before I replied. "I can prove you wrong. Say anything and I will do it." He gazed up at me, his eyes held a glint of humour, like he challenged me.

"Oh, yeah?" He got up from his chair, walked closer to me. Leaning back against his desk, he continued to watch me.

Suddenly the tension changed, the temperature raised. My mouth went dry as tried to swallow down my nerves. His eyes went from green-blue to black. My mind shut down, and desire started to build inside me. He slowly raised his hand, wrapping it around my arm and dragging me closer to his body. His standing form towered over me.

I was so close to him that I felt his warm minty breath on my face.

Not daring to look at him, I stared at his white, see-through t-shirt. I could see and feel every muscle on his body.

He had an aura that made me obey him, especially when he looked at me that way. He made me nervous, and he somehow turned off my mind.

He slightly gripped my chin, tipped my head up, forcing me to look at him. He stared intensively at my eyes.

"What do you want to do, Olivia?" he whispered darkly against my lips. 

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