Life Is A Living Hell

Chapter 37 Dark Ocean Eyes (rewritten)

It's like I want to be alone
but I want to be touched.
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Olivia Brown

I woke up to someone's warm body pressed against my back. Antonio's warm body.

He's here. If I was being honest, I thought he wouldn't come back after he stormed off. I kind of hoped that he wouldn't come back, especially after his reaction. I told him something that I hadn't told anyone, not even my own brother. Something that kept me up at night, something that made my smile disappear... like my mother. And his reaction was... nothing. He said nothing, he just stormed off.

Slowly, I slipped off of the bed. Being too tired to put on my own clothes, I put on Anton's shirt.

I took one step towards the door when I felt the soreness between my legs. Ouch. I slowly made my way down to my bathroom in my room. I stripped off his shirt in front of the mirror. Oh, my...

Blue, purple marks covered my chest and throat. And I specifically told him not to, as a response, he just smirked and lowered his mouth around my nipple and sucked.

Fortunately, he didn't leave many on my throat, mostly on my chest, which only he saw.

Are you planning to fuck him and only him for the rest of your life? If you are, I bet he isn't. The annoying voice in my head smirked as she filed her nails.

I didn't want to think about that. I tried so hard not to think about that, because I knew deep down that he and I wouldn't last forever, even if I wanted to.

I had fallen for this man... but I didn't believe he had fallen for me.

Oh, why did I fall for this man?

When we find the flash drive, we were going to part ways. Even if I didn't want that, I had to. Besides, I didn't think that he would beg me to stay with him.

I took a deep breath and stepped under the numbing water.

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You realise that he only wants to fuck you and nothing else, my subconscious continued to mock me as I was putting on some clothes.

You're practically his fuck buddy, she sniggered with her dark, devilish eyes.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Her mocking got to me effortlessly, especially when I knew she was right. I knew all that, I knew that we wouldn't last, I knew that... his feelings weren't as strong as mine. If he even had feelings for me.

I didn't want to see the truth, the truth that he only saw me as a fuck buddy and nothing else. One part of me wanted to continue this behaviour or whatever you call it, and thought, who cares, we can just have some fun. The other part of me wanted to stop this before I got too attached to him, knowing it would break me when we would come to an end. Knowing that he didn't want me as much as I wanted him... hurt. To know that he didn't see me as I saw him, to know that he only saw me as a hole that he could bury his dick in, rather than see me as...me. I wanted to be more than just a fuck buddy.

Because of that, I had to stop this before I fell into his dark ocean eyes, so much that I would drown... and for some reason it felt like he wouldn't be the one to save me.

I made my way downstairs, to the kitchen. Solely to come to a halt in the living room. Antonio was pacing in the room as he talked in Italian to the person on the phone. He was wearing black suit pants with a black shirt, with the two first buttons opened. His shirt was hugging all his stone-hard muscles. His dark brown hair was a little messy but professional.

He looked so hot, damn him for being good-looking. Made it harder to stay with this 'stop having sex with him' thing.

"We're going out for lunch." He wasn't talking on the phone anymore; he was staring at me with his blue-green eyes. I was so caught up with taking in the sight of him that I didn't notice that he was done speaking on the phone.

"Mm, what?" I mumbled, distracted, still staring at him.

"We're going out for lunch. C'mon," he repeated on his way to the front door.

"But I haven't even eaten breakfast yet." I frowned. He stopped in his tracks, turned to me.

"It's 1 P.M," he said.

Oh, for how long did we have sex? I had never woken up this late. And why did he want to go out for lunch, we usually ate at home.

"Date?" I mumbled quietly to myself.

"You can say that." He smirked, gazing down at his phone.

How could he have such a good hearing?

"You weren't supposed to hear that," I muttered sheepishly, gazing down at the floor.

I needed to change my clothes if we were going on a date. What should I wear? I turned to the stairs, planning on going back to my room.

"We don't have time for you to change clothes," Anton said, making my steps come to a halt. How did he know that I was about to change my clothes?

"But—" I was about to protest, but he interrupted me.

"You look good. Come here," he said with a smoky voice. I took a small step towards him. Being impatient, he took a hold of me and dragged me towards his hard chest. His hand rested on my hip as his other was on my cheek, his thumb parting my lips. My breathing turned shallow and short. His hot, minty breath hit my face.

"What're you doing to me?" he exhaled quietly to himself, hypnotising me with his dark eyes. He leaned towards me, his hot breath on my lips.

"I can't get enough of you," he growled against my lips, then crashed his lips against mine. His hot tongue invaded my mouth, taking every part of me he desired.

Shit, this wasn't supposed to happen. I was planning on stopping this.

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