Life Is A Living Hell

Chapter 44 I Don't Trust You (rewritten)

He walked into my heart like he always belonged there,
took down my walls and lit my soul on fire.
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Olivia Brown

They know where Joseph is. That was the first thing that came to mind when I woke up to a snowy morning... or rather an afternoon. The clock on the wall showed 12 P.M.

I made my way out of the empty bed to the window. Gazing at the frozen lake, I enjoyed the view of the dark spruce forest covered in snow. I'm going to miss this. A small voice in me said. A voice in me who had fallen for the devil and all he had to give.

No, you won't. You want freedom, remember? An easy life with liberty. The rational part of me argued.

"I don't know what I want anymore," I sighed, then I recalled something.

"Can you promise me something?" Antonio was breathing heavily, his hot, minty breath on my lips. I couldn't think straight, my mind was utterly foggy and empty.

"Yeah." I managed to breathe out.

"Promise me that you'll never leave me," he whispered, his voice thick with emotions. I stared into his eyes for a brief second, trying to figure out if he was sincere. I became aware of the fact that I didn't care, I was in too deep, I had fallen hard for this man. At that moment, I realise that I would rather die than leave him.

"I promise." I vowed.

Why did I promise such a thing?

Because you're a filthy whore who's striving for cock. You're humiliating, you should be ashamed of yourself. Letting him touch you and fuck you like a cheap hoe. You're disgusti— She snarled.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut. Up. Get out of my head!

"Get the fuck out of my head," I grunted. Spent, I let my forehead fall onto the cold window.

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Descending the stairs, I rearranged Antonio's hoodie that I had stolen and worn with a pair of leggings. The adjoining dining room was buzzing with excitement and adrenaline. All the guys were engaged in a joyous tête-à-tête in Italian. Vittoria was the first one to see me. She offered a hesitant smile. I returned it as I made my way to the adjoining kitchen. There stood my devil, dressed in a black suit that did nothing to cover up those muscles that made me drool. He gazed at me. His hair was messy. In the bright morning sunlight, he looked more handsome and more human than I'd ever seen him.

"Morning." He grinned before he took a sip of his black coffee. I smiled back before I opened the fridge.

"Since we know where Joseph is now, I'm going to have a meeting with all my men about how we were going to take back the USB," he informed me as I made myself a sandwich.

"When is it?" I asked before I took a bite of the sandwich.

"I can't tell you."

I gazed at him with a frown. "But I want to attend." Why does he keep doing this?

"I want to help, Anton," I added firmly.

"And you will, when I say so." He bridged the distance between us.

"I've everything under control. I've a plan. I'm just asking you this one thing," he stated. I cranked up my neck, so I could see his devilish face.

"What're you asking me?" I mumbled out breathlessly. Staring into my eyes, he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

"I guess I'm asking you to trust me," he retorted silvery. I stared back into his blue-green eyes with sorrow.

"I can't." I shook my head slowly.

He frowned. "I didn't know you had trust issues."

I took a sip of my orange juice. "I don't. I just don't trust." He raised an eyebrow.

"If I don't trust, then I don't have the issue," I explained.

He wet his lips. "So, you don't trust people."

I nodded slowly. "I don't trust anything or anyone." He stroked my lower lip with a stern look.

"I hate to break it to you, baby girl, but you don't have a choice," he proclaimed and walked past me out of the kitchen.

Vittoria strolled in when I was cleaning up after myself in the kitchen.

"How are you doing?" she asked softly with a lopsided smile.

"What do you mean?" I frowned as I was putting mugs on the shelf. She leaned against the counter. "You know, with your father and all."

"Oh, that. No, I'm fine," I replied dismissively and poured a glass of water.

"Are you really, though?" I took a sip of my water.

"Yeah."

"But are you sure? He is—he was your father." She pressed with raised eyebrows. I sighed.

"We...weren't close."

"But—" she continued, even though I was sure an idiot would've understood that I didn't want to have this conversation.

"Vittoria." I stopped her with a firm voice. "I know you're just polite and concerned, but it's fine. I'm fine. Okay?" I continued and offered a small smile that said: Drop it. She nodded slowly.

"Okay. I didn't come here to just ask about your well-being. I also came here to inform you that Joseph has your brother." What? Suddenly, my glass of water was too heavy to hold. It slipped through my immobile fingers and broke into pieces with a piercing sound in front of my feet. The chilly water splashed everywhere.

"Shit!" Vittoria was by my side in seconds.

"Are you alright?"

I swallowed. "How?" I questioned instead of answering her question.

"After your brother interacted with Antonio yesterday, Joseph saw his chance, and..." she trailered off.

"And what? Tell me!" I yelled the last part.

"His men beat him up and took him. That's all I know. I heard it when Theo was on the phone." Why did Joseph beat up and kidnap Alex? This war was between Antonio and him, so why were I and Alex involved? We hadn't done anything. We were innocent.

Why, God? Why, God, are you punishing us for nothing? Or is it the Devil who is punishing me?

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