unforgotten
Jess eyed her favorite kind of pop tart and her glass of coke with a bittersweet smile. Her last of both, and there was no telling when she would ever find more.
She could hear the perfect bubbles from her coke that you only get when you first pour it over the ice. The smell of cinnamon filled her senses.
She hadn't even taken a bite, but she could already taste it.
Julian's arms went around her, and he pressed a kissed to her bare shoulder.
"I can see that you're going to be here a while, so I'm going to head out without you. Where are you headed today?"
"Asia. I refuse to return without at least one member of BTS. Want me to bring you some tteokbokki chips?"
"You know it." Her shoulder received another kiss. "I love it when you wear my shirts just for this reason. See you, later?"
"You know it." She turned towards him with her puppy dog eyes. "You want half of my pop tart? I'll share with you."
His smile was full of beauty and love. "I know you would. You enjoy it, baby."
After watching him until he was out of sight, she turned back towards her goodies and found her aunt smiling at her.
"My sister would have loved finally seeing you two together. It was her secret hope that you two would get married."
Jess wrinkled her nose. "Not so secret. The demon still sleeping? That's weird."
Her aunt lost her smile. "Not so weird, he was up all night. I think he's teething."
"You should have woken me. We could have tagged teamed him."
Her aunt's smile was back. "He just cries more when you're around."
Jess frowned. "If that wasn't true about most people, I'd be insulted."
When there was a knock on the door, her aunt got a pure look of panic on her face. "Go stop it before__!"
Jess jerked the door open. Sadly enough, she'd rather face the girl at the door than a screaming Thad. "I'm not in the mood for you and I think I've been very clear about that."
"You have, my Queen. As a New Ruler it is my job to present you with all the facts and use my gift to___."
"You should know that before you even opened your mouth, I already wanted to punch you."
"I'm aware of that possible outcome, my Queen."
Jess stepped out and shut the door behind them.
"May I speak freely, my Queen?"
"Spit it out, Hayden."
"We are connected, and I feel your unease with me. That unease is problematic between us if we ever want to be as unified as we're meant to be. I couldn't be happier about your safe return and you taking your rightful place as my Queen and as my King's true mate."
"You could have put all that in a card." Jess crossed her arms.
Hayden laid her hand over her chest. "Here. All of us carry the knowledge of what an honorable, and just Queen you are. My loyalty to you will remain true. I can feel what great things you both will accomplish."
"Yep."
"My disappointment in you is solely in regards of Kellum."
Jess's eyes narrowed. She knew the bitch was getting punched today.
"He deserves better than your treatment of him. You have done nothing but push him and doubt him since the moment you met him. At every opportunity you turned your back on him. You left him here to face his enemies alone. You__"
"I'm about to knock your teeth down your throat. They forced me to leave."
"You chose to leave. You could have stayed and fought them together."
"They didn't want me. They chose you."
"The advisors did. He didn't. He chose you. Then, and now. When have you ever chosen him? Since he has remembered you, all he's done is study every moment he's spent with you in hopes of finding the parts of him that are lost. Have you once tried to help him? Have you even once thought about everything he went through when you left him here? I know you went through a lot. We all feel your pain, but you have many here trying to pick up the pieces of you. Who is trying to pick of the pieces of him? Not you, and I can't. It is my job to offer him comfort and guidance, but he won't even allow me to get close to him because even now he chooses you."
When she should have gone after the other girl and broke her mouth for everything she was saying, she couldn't. She didn't even disagree with the other girl.
Hayden bit her lip and allowed herself a moment to calm. "Speak your truth, Jessalynn."
"He forgot me."
"We all did and yet he's the only one you're punishing."
"I needed him to find me."
"He needs you to find him."
She wanted to hit her. She wanted to cry and scream, but she seemed incapable of doing any of it. "I tried. Every day out there I searched for him and everyday he got farther and farther away. You think you have all the answers, then tell me what I'm supposed to do when the one person I was willing to take a chance on is gone. You look at him and see him, I look at him and see all that I lost. He's not the same. He's not the man who loved me above all things. Do you not think I have to face that every time I see him? Every fucking time, I lose him all over again. If I'm around him too much, I swear I'll murder those four frauds. I'll murder you for touching him. My Kellum is gone and every time I have to look at him, all I feel is the most epic tragedy you can imagine. They had no right to take him away from me. He had no right to make me fall for him, knowing I could lose him."
"He lost you too."
"I know that." She screamed.
"They strapped him to a chair and played with his mind. The very thing he needs so he can live and breathe was taken from him. Stolen from his very thoughts. You were written away from him. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine what it's like to miss something so much your heart wants to stop beating?"
"Every day I feel that, and don't tell me how he feels because I know how he feels. He is lost. He knows something is missing, but he doesn't know what. I know what is missing. Half my soul is gone. He's better off not knowing. Without him I die a little more every day."
Jess covered her mouth on a sob.
"That's your truth. I hope it helps that you finally faced it." Hayden thought about turning away but stopped. "You don't get to make that decision for him. Stop giving up on him and start fighting for him instead."
Her pain nearly sent her to her knees, and she wanted Hayden to feel the same way.
The other girl clenched her chest and staggered to her knees.
"That is what one moment without him feels like."
"New Ruler Hayden, are you in need of assistance?"
Realization at what she was doing shocked her, and she took the pain away from the other girl. "I didn't know I could do that. I... stay away from me."
