unsaid
She took him to the field with the wildflowers, and when he would have looked around them, she caught his face in her hands.
Why not have their first kiss all over again? Only this time, he was the one who was afraid of losing himself.
"Give me another chance and I promise I won't let you down this time." She promised in a whisper. Her eyes on his.
How long has it been since she's caressed his cheek? Touched him? Kissed him? It seemed like a thousand lifetimes ago.
When he disappeared, she smiled and followed him. She was still smiling when she looked up at him. "You know how much I like to play games."
"This is not a game. You cannot just___."
"Just what? Kiss you? I haven't yet." She stalked him.
"The way things have been__."
"Sucks big, moldy ass but I'm going to fix that. I love you, big guy, so get used to it. No more running, no more playing scientist. I suck at it anyway. Dez, let my crew know. All of it stops. Mates are for life. I don't want it any other way. Cancel all of his meetings because he's spending the day with me."
"Yes, my Queen."
Her grin grew and she continued to stalk him. "The bed, Dez."
Her guy paled.
"Don't worry. We'll go slow. Ish. I just need you to hold me."
"I cannot."
"You can."
"I do not know how to."
"That's okay. I taught you how to the first time and I can teach you again." Taking his hand, she deposited them into his bed.
"Jessalynn___."
"Shh." She covered his lips with her finger, then with her lips. After a simple kiss, she looked at him. "Open your arms for me, Kellum."
After a deep breath, he did.
"Good, boy." She laid close to him. Her head on his arm and her hand on his chest. "You need this too. I know how hard all of this has been on you. I'm sorry, Kellum. More than you'll ever know. I promise I never wanted to hurt you. It might have taken some perfect barbie to show me what a big baby I was being, but from now on I'll be a better mate. I promise I will. One day you'll be glad you didn't give up on me."
"I could never give up on you."
"Right now, you're just saying all the right things, but you don't mean it like you used to. One day that will change, I'll find you again."
"What if you are wrong? What if__?"
"I'm not. I've never been surer of anything then I'm sure of you. You'll come back to me."
"I have looked for the person you want me to be. I have watched all the videos. Been to all the places, but it does not help. I can remember but I'm not the same."
"What does that mean, Kell? Are you saying you want out? Because I won't believe that."
"Never. That is not our way. Or mine. You are my mate, and nothing will ever change that. I just cannot give you what you want from me."
"What can you give me?"
That gave him pause.
"You're my mate, and I'm ready to take my place at your side. Dezrick, tell me what that entitles. What do mates do where you come from?"
"They visit each other daily and discuss things. My queen, on Syrian it is very important to conceive as quickly as possible so until that is done, he might visit your room for a few moments on the days you are fertile. Humans are fertile monthly, so that will mean more nightly visits. Even some daytime visits."
Jess grinned at her mate.
He looked like he might up chuck.
"Since you are Queen, you would be required to rule at his side. That means attending meetings and committees."
"As fun as all that sounds, it's not enough for me. Right now, I just need more moments like this one." She laid her head back on his arm and breathed out months and months of pain and loneliness. "If you can tell me, you don't need it too, then I'll leave."
He wouldn't lie to her, and she could feel that he needed it as much as she did.
"My Queen, the human Julian, is worried about you. He says if you ignore him one more time, he is going to his King to find your whereabouts."
Kellum stiffen beneath her hand and would have moved away except she stilled him by kissing his cheek. He even stopped breathing.
"Tell him I'm okay, and I'll explain everything when I get the chance. Tell him I'm better than I've been in a long time."
Sighing, Jess ran her hand over his chest and down his arm. "Kell, I do believe you've been working out too much. How do you feel about taking this thing off and letting me have a look?"
At his panic look, she smiled sadly. "You're probably right. We wouldn't get much talking done if you did. I'm sorry about Julian. I never wanted to use him to hurt you, but that's exactly what I've done. We're still two for the price of one, but you should know that as much as I love him, I love you more. From now on, I'm going to make sure you know that."
"You cannot change everything on me without warning."
Jess raised above him. "On top of being hurt, I bet my last dollar that you're more than a little pissed at me, too." She laid her hand where his mark laid. "You mad at me, big boy? I won't blame you if you are. You have every right to be upset with me, but I'm going to make it up to you. I'm going to earn your trust again."
Jess sighed when he disappeared this time. "Dez, remind him he can't hide from me."
"Yes, my Queen."
"Tell him I'll give him some time. I owe him that much."
"Yes, my Queen."
Now she had to go break up with her best friend and get him on track to accepting his own mate.
She grinned. "Tell him I've been a bad, bad mate and he knows where to find me when he wants to spank me."
