undying
When he finally faced her, he was straight from a shower and was wearing a clean candora. Her eyes narrowed. No way he would see to his cleanliness before he would have seen to her injuries, unless something was wrong with him.
"I am sorry, Jessalynn. There was a chemical compound on me that had to be washed off quickly. I am also sorry for sending you here. Locking you in was wrong. I would never want to take away your freedom after everything you have been through. I did not think beyond my need to keep you safe. They have taught me that nothing is more important than keeping my mate safe, and it is instinct to protect you at all costs. Can I please bring in the necessary people to care for your wounds?"
She could see how bothered he was by the sight of her blood, so she gave a curt nod.
She'd been waiting for him long enough that she'd tired of the pacing and now she was just sitting and brooding.
He stayed near the door as two of the medical staff came in and cleaned her up. She drank everything they gave her, all without once looking at them.
Once they were done, Jess stood up. "Fetch me something from home to wear." She ordered him.
When several of her things appeared on her bed, she reached for the purple tee shirt that would reach to her knees.
Feeling that he was about to leave, she narrowed her eyes at him and dared him to.
She kicked her boots off, and they instantly disappeared into the floor. She could learn to appreciate a self-cleaning floor.
"What happened to mates not apologizing to mates?"
"What I did merited an apology. I will try to make sure it never happens again."
Now that she was clean and comfortable and he was safe, she wasn't feeling as pissed off. "I've decided that you are right. You don't have to tell me you're sorry. I get it. You don't have to say it because I can feel it, and you don't have to feel so bad, big guy. It didn't bring up any bad memories. The only things I was feeling are pissed off and worried."
On bare feet, she made her way to him.
"I still had no right__."
"True." She kissed him. His sigh of relief that she was truly okay went through both of them, and she found herself in the middle of his bed. Alone.
She was so delighted to realize that he sent her to his bed and not hers that she didn't even chew him out about sending her away when she'd been about to pick up where they'd left off this morning.
"Tell me what has changed for you. I have seen you with Julian. The two of you have a very close relationship. One I have a hard time understanding, but I can still see how close the two of you are."
"We are close." She admitted. "And we are good together. Just like you and Hayden would be good together. Lord knows the advisors believed that, but I don't wear his mark and she doesn't wear your mark. What is your point?"
"Why have you changed your mind about wanting to be with me? If you are so good with him, why are you here?"
Sitting with her legs crossed, she studied his mood. He wasn't trying to send her away, he wasn't trying to say she should go back to Julian. He honestly wanted to understand why she was here after being so confident about not wanting him.
"Julian is very important to me. He always will be, but how can I be with him when I can feel how much it hurts you? You won't even be in a room alone with Hayden because you worry it will hurt me. We shouldn't even be able to feel each other like we do, but we can. How can I be with anyone else when every cell of my body can feel you? When every cell of my body calls out for you? Hayden made me face my feelings for you. Maybe that's all you need to do too."
"Feelings? How can I trust something I do not understand? My people believe in what we know."
"Then for now, believe in what you know. You know you are my mate, and it is your job to take care of me however I need to be taken care of. Correct?"
"Yes."
"If your mate was one of your kind, you could play it safe and kiss her forehead, but your mate is a human who needs to feel your arms around her. I need to be close to you. I want what you told me you wanted the first time we met. Everything. A happy ever after and no exit strategies. I want the kind of love that sends someone searching the universe for it. And I want all of that with you. The boy who apologizes to me for wanting nothing more than to keep me safe. I know how important that is to you, and I know how hard it was for you to let me go in the first place. The fact that you let me, shows me just how much you care about me. You go against all your instincts, everything you've been taught because the way you care about me is more important than anything."
Her words affected him, but he remained in his stiff stance across the room.
"How were you able to stop fearing me?"
"I'm scared shitless. I'm just done letting my fear rule me. You're my mate, to hurt me would be hurting yourself. Who would it be safer to love?"
He sighed. His glance on her. "I believed that way once, but as close as the two of us seemed to be before, it could not have been real. Mates do not keep secrets. They do not walk away. They do not kiss anyone else. How lacking I must be for you to ignore___."
"Kellum, you were not the one lacking. I was." Her eyes filled with tears at the thought she could make him feel like he was lacking in anyway. "What I couldn't offer you then, I'm offering you now. There will be no more secrets. No more kissing anyone else, no more walking away. We can have something incredible. We'll keep your tradition of not having to apologize, and you can give my tradition of kissing and making up a try. Mates, who are so a part of one another, that they die together should never be limited to one hour a day. Your kind can teach us how to be loyal, and my kind can teach your people how to live and to love with your whole hearts. We can teach you how to close your eyes and just fall."
"You were not supposed to be able to be parted from me, but you were. To choose to have to go through that ever again would be foolish."
"Would being a part be easier on you if you kept our relationship to only an hour a day? Would it hurt any less if we pretended, we don't need each other? You have to decide if you want me, or if you don't."
"I could never decide I do not want you."
"Then decide you do because with me it's all or nothing. I can't be the mate that is happy with a few meetings. I am a completely in or a completely out kind of girl. Which do you want me to be?"
When he didn't answer for a long time, her heart felt heavy. She could feel the inner struggle he was going through. He didn't want her to go, but he feared her staying. "I know how much I've hurt you."
He laid down beside her. "I could never not choose you."
She took his hand and held it close to her heart. "This time it will be different because now I could never not choose you too."
"Okay."
"My people have another tradition called starting over. We put mistakes behind us, and we both get clean slates. Can you do that for me? Can you forget about all my past mistakes and give me another chance?"
"Yes."
Her tears affected him, and in his need to comfort her, he moved closer. "The answer is always yes, Jessalynn."
"Then get ready for a long night, because you are about to learn everything there is to know about me. After tonight, no more secrets."
