what happened during those years?

huh

Ive seen angst stories on Wattpad
But i would never thought that i would experience it my self.
Especially me being the one who broke down and cried
Huh
I feel pathetic and weak
My auntie was the one who calmed me down
I feel like a goddamn burden to my family
I feel like a disappointment
I don't why but i opened up to my auntie more then anyone else in the family.
I still think of how my grandma is dead now
How she is either in a better place now or in a worse place
I still don't know how to feel
I tried to cry but i couldn't when they told me she died
My negative thoughts always takes over me

(Yes yes i get that things are bad at the moment. But don't trust anyone that you live with. ..if only you knew how your aunt will betray you in the future. I'm sorry. But the world is a cruel place. You can't trust people that easily. I know how you feel alone, angry and sad at the moment. But everything will be okay in the future. Well, not everything. But things will sort of get better. I know you probably won't believe me and that you would just laugh at my face if i told you this. But..you won't be alone in the future anymore. Believe it or not, you will have a best friend. Yes you heard me. You will have an actual best friend. Crazy isn't it?
I am currently in a one year friendship with her and a few days ago was our first meeting anniversary. I know that you might think that she's like the others that would just come and go. But no, she'll stick by your side through out your journey. Sure there may be a few fights here and there. But i don't think there's a single friendship that has no fights or arguments in it whatsoever. Every relationships has bad times and you'll get through it eventually. But about our parents..don't trust them. They are not good people. They have cause us more traumatic memories without even realizing it. I know you won't believe me. But I get it, i wouldn't believe it either. But hear me out. Your best friend will be your new parents from now on. Sure we aren't adopted by her yet, but we call her "mom". She's an amazing person really. Her name is Sophia. She is kind, she's pretty chill unless you mention something about hot men that she simps for. We talked about on how we are going to live together. She said she could take us to places that we always wanted to visit in America. I know it's going to be really hard to leave your parents and your little brother. But don't you think we deserve happiness as well? You can be happy after you meet Sophia. She changed us. Whenever I'm around her, i act entirely different, In a good way of course. Our job is now to make her happy. And after we both will meet up, our job is to protect her. So things will sort of be okay in the future. -13 year old me aka present me)

I just wanted to express how i feel at the moment