Maybe we can (L.S.)

17

"It's all your fault, Harry. If you just hadn't been late, everything would be okay now. It's your fault they don't have a mum anymore. It's your fault Sam isn't okay"

"B-but, i-it wasn't my f-fault. I'm sorry... It- it should have b-been m-me"

"And now you can't even take care of them properly. They will take them away from you. They'll be better off with someone else"

"N-no, no. Please!"

Riiiing, riiiing, riiiing!

"Please, don't. Don't take them. No... Don't"

Riiiing, riiiing, riiiing!

Harry opened his eyes on Friday morning. It took him a while to realise it had just been a dream. But it was just so real... His thoughts were real though. Yesterday's appointment just confirmed that it really was his fault that Sam wasn't okay.

Riiiing, riiiing, riiiing!

He realised that his phone was ringing and rolled over the sweaty sheets to pick it up.

"Yes?" He spoke to the phone with a shaky voice.

"Harry! I thought you wouldn't pick up. Did I wake you?"

"Hey mum. Yeah... It's okay though" He answered still panting a bit.

"Sorry, love. I just wanted to check on you three. How are you doing? How was Sam's appointment?"

"Um... We're okay, mum. Just a little worried about Sam. His PT said... He said his- his b-brain might not have developed p-properly. B-because he was born early... I'm sorry, mum... It's all my fa-" He said, stumbling with his words.

"Don't you dare, Harry! It's not your fault. Please don't say that ever again. We already discussed it"

"I- I know... But I just can't stop thinking about what if I had picked her up 5 minutes earlier... Maybe anything would have happened... Maybe they would have a proper family. Maybe they would both be perfectly healthy now"

"Or maybe Sam wouldn't be here at all, Harry. Maybe I would have been worst... You can't blame yourself for everything. And they do have a proper family, Harry"

"But I- I just can't do it, mum. I can't. M-maybe they would be better off with someone else" He cried to the phone.

"Of course you can, love. And you are the best dad they could ever hope for. You just need some time to figure everything out"

Just then he heard some noises through the baby monitor.

"I've got to go, mum. Sam's awake. Talk to you later"

"You see? Best dad ever. I love you. Take care of yourself"

"Love you"

He wiped away his tears, got up from the bed and hopped to Sam and Emma's room. He was upset but right now the kids were the most important thing in his life.

When he opened the door he was met with a beautiful sight. Emma had apparently realised that Sam was awake and managed to get inside his crib. She was sat cross-legged beside him and lightly patting his belly while humming a song to him.

He silently took his phone out and videotaped them until Emma lifted her head and saw him.

"Sam wake" She said.

"He's asleep again now. Were you singing to him, monkey?" He asked as he picked her up and placed her on the floor.

"Mhm. I big sister" She nodded proudly.

"Yes you are. Let's go get some breakfast ready. Will you help me?"

"Yesh"

Harry helped her up her chair and placed a bowl with different fruits in front of her.

"Okay, monkey. You choose which fruits you want and I'll chop them"

"Nana!" She shouted while waving a banana in his face.

"Banana it is then. Let's choose another fruit now"

"Napple"

"Apple?"

"Yesh!" She said placing it on the cutting board.

"Okay. We need another one and we'll be set"

"Oange!"

"Then orange it will be. Will you peel the banana for me?" He asked, giving her the banana after cutting its edge.

She nodded and he started cutting the apple and orange. When he finished he went to grab the peeled banana but Emma shook her head and pointed her finger at herself.

"You want to cut it?" He asked amused.

She nodded again.

"Alright, alright. Wait a second" He turned and took a plastic knife for her to use safely and gave it to her.

"Here you go. Now, you must be really careful with your fingers, okay?"

She nodded and started chopping irregular chunks of banana, her tongue poking out to the side in concentration.

Harry couldn't restrain himself from snapping a couple photos.

"Done!" She exclaimed raising both hands.

"Wow! Be careful with the knife monkey" He said taking it out of her hand.

"You put the banana in the bowl and mix all the fruits and I'll go get Sam, alright?"

"Mhm" She hummed already starting.

A couple minutes later he was back with Sam. He placed him on the mat beside him while he put some fruit in a smaller bowl for Emma and mashed some for Sam. When he was finished, he sat Sam on his lap and fed him. He really needed a baby chair for him but, right now, money was tight.

Just as he finished feeding him his phone started ringing.

"Yes?" He picked it up, not recognising the number.