Maybe we can (L.S.)

42

It was 9.30 when Harry arrived at the ECAC with Sam. Liam had dropped them off before rushing away to attend an important meeting. It was still early for the appointment and Harry was so exhausted that it didn't take long after he slumped down on the most comfortable armchair in the waiting room before he dozzed off.

When Louis walked out of the physiotherapy room, waving goodbye at his previous patient, he didn't expect t find Harry there yet. He was asleep, with his mouth slightly parted and head lollig to the side. Louis smiled and, after checking that Sam was peacefully exploring a bunny stuffie in his trolley, decided to leave them be for a few minutes. After all, it was still 20 minutes early.

However, the toy car that was lying on the floor didn't seem to like the idea much so..., of course, he stepped on it and fell to the ground, a loud squeal leaving his mouth.

Harry jumped from his seat, startled with the sound, and it took him a few seconds to realise what had happened. When he saw Louis, he couldn't help the giggle that escaped his lips. He quickly covered his mouth with oone hand and offered the other one to help the man up.

"Oi! Don't laugh at me!" Louis whinned playfully, poking Harry's chest with a finger after using the offered hand to stand.

"Sorry... Are you okay?" Harry whispered, his smile dropping i worry.

It was then that Louis realised how tired the man looked. His neck lenght curls were messy, his face was paler than usual and his eyes were dull green and framed in dark circles.

"Hey, I was just teasing. 'm alright. Do you want to come in? It's still a bit early but-" Louis replied while dusting himself off.

"Yeah. Let's go..." Harry cut him, already pushing the trolley in the room.

"Hey, Sam! How are you doing, love? Are you letting your daddy get his sleep, hm?" Louis asked Sam in a playfull voice after Harry sat on the mat with te baby in his arms. He looked up to Harry after the last question. "How are you holding on?" He added, trying to read the man's face.


"Pfff... He has been sleeping well. Me... not so much. I just- I... sorry. This isn't about me. Sorry. Sam's more important now" Harry spoke looking down, deciding not to correct Louis on the daddy part as he knew that the older man would argue back.

"No, he's not, Harry. If you're struggling you can't help him as much. You ned to think about yourself too... You can talk to me, Harry. I told you last time. I'm here for you. Now... what's keeping you awake?" Louis said trying to find eye contact with Harry.

"I- I- I guess I've had too much to worry about. I jus can't stop thinking. Worrying about Sam, and his future, and Emma, and I read on the internet about CP and everithing is so fucking scary... and- and how am I supposed to take care of them alone Louis? I can't do it! Hell, I can't even sleep because a leg I no longer have decides it wants to hurt as if it were being put through a meat grinder! And I can't even take the pain meds I was prescribed because they leave me so groggy I can't function properly!" Harry replied, his green watery eyes now looking directely at Louis, his tone raising in frustration.

Louis jumped to hug Harry, wraping his arms aroung him and holding him close as the man cried on his shoulder.

"Why didn't you call me? I told you to... I would have come. Try to help however I could. I ment it, Harry. And I still do... Take your time to calm down a bit, hm?" Louis spoke quietly still holding Harry close. "Does little Sam want to play with me for a while? And I'll try to explain what we're going to do now that we know that Sam's got CP and what we can expect, okay? And then I'll give you some internet pages where you can find reliable info, but I don't want you to obsess with it" He continued, parting his body from Harry's and holding his arms to Sam.

" 'kay. Yeah, I think that could help" Harry sniffled, passing Sam to Louis.

Louis placed him by face down on the mat and crouched beside him, helping the baby hold his weight on his elbows and ofering Harry a rattle ball to show Sam so he would hold his head up.

"And I don't know much about phantom leg pain if I'm honest, but I'll look into it and someone to see how to help you" Louis added, smiling at harry who was now laying n front of Sam, mooving the ball to keep his attention.

"Thanks. You don't have to do that you know?" Harry smiled gratefully.

"I want to..." Louis blushed.

"Okay" Harry replied locking his green eyes with Louis' blue ones.

"Great. Okay" Louis coughed. "So, about Sam... He's got two weekly apointments here with me because he's young and his brain is still developing so we hope that giving him the propper oportunities we'll be able to minimize the repercusions of his brain injury. Now, that doesn't man that the injury will go away because it won't... What we'll do is be here to give solutions to any limitations he faces in his life and try to use his brain plasticity to create new pathways to face every day activities" Louis explained. "You following?" He asked, his right hand helping Sam roll while his left one guided Harry's wrist to move the ball so that the baby had to turn around to see.

"Yeah... I think so" Harry nodded, amazed at how easily Sam had rolled with Louis' help.

"Okay. Now, don't panick about what I'm about to say because it can be easily misunderstood... What I do here with Sam won't change anything and I won't be doing anything that you wouldn't be able to do. I'll need-" Louis started speaking.

"What?! What do you mean you-" Harry exclaimed, panick clear on his voice.

"I mean that what he needs is you, Harry. You'll have to be the one to play with him daily. You'll be the one to know what he needs. You'll be the one who really knows him and how to help him in every situation" Louis continued holding his palm up to stop Harry from speaking. "And I'll be here along the way to help you assess his needs and to give you orientation in how to help him best at any given moment of his development" He finished.

"I- but- me- But I can't, Louis. I don't know how. I don't know anything! You're his physiotherapist! You'll do better! I can't do it" Harry complained, not really understanding.

"Neither can I, Harry. Because I'm not with Sam every hour of his life. You are. He doesn't need two weekly physiotherapy sessions, he needs all day long doses of love and patience. And you are the only one who can give him that. But you won't be alone. I promise I'll be there every step of the way to help you and Sam however I can, and maybe we can do it together" Louis explained, placing a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.

After that, they continued playing with Sam in different positions and toys, such as the rattle ball, a baby activity arch or high contrast pictures.

When it was time to go, Louis asured Harry that he would call as soon as he found something on how to help with phantom leg pain and didn't let him out until the curly haired man promised to call if he needed anything at all.

With that, Harry and Sam went outside to wait for Liam to pick them up before they would go to the daycare to get Emma and Mickey. He didn't know if he was more scared now than he was before talking to Louis but, somehow, he really believed Lous when he said he would be there for them.